Unfortunately I did it again,
I fell for the daydream,
I idolised men.
Now predictably I’m in way over my head,
Your presence I’m used to,
Your breathing in bed.
You’re part of the furniture now,
We can’t stay away,
Your love is a grass stain,
I can’t wash away.

Finish your nearly dead, full of
stress phase of an education
And when you are still alive
after this non-stop narration

Become a chained slave
Strangle yourself with work
Replaceable product, undervalued
because your boss is a dork

Hunt the treasure of lies
Russian roulette of dates
Hate is bigger than love
Still seen as soulmates

Lose yourself to the sheets
the day you marry someone
Pray to god, when your lover
dances with his handgun

Pictures of families with masks
to hide the black dark shadows
Don’t untwist your tongue
when the pain only grows

Start and raise a family
with kids you absolutely hate
Because, it doesn’t matter
when this is your fate

What of a love unspoken?
A mutual feeling, both parties are too scared to name?
Can it live without a title?
Or will it cause pain if claimed?

What is a love unspoken?
Deep conversations in the dead of night,
The moonlight revealing the man under the bravado.

Something with slight glances,
And smiles,
His words are truth,
A reflection of him,

The best of him,
And his love,
Unspoken,

Where in this moment,
Love is enough for him to give,
And nothing even matters outside the world that we’ve created.

What of our love unspoken?
Are all your actions intentional to keep this sacred thing going?

Can it continue to bloom in secrecy when the world attempts to spoil it?

What of our love unspoken?

Will a title to this unknown love halt the growth of something beautiful?

Will it die as heartbreak, and named?

Left to the wind to rot in silence,
As we pretend that nothing happened with halfhearted, unimpressed glances?

What of this love unspoken?
Untitled but noticed
Simple yet wonderful
And to my knowledge
Final

I know that love is complicated,
But my heart speaks with honesty on this bond formed in secrecy,
It's truth when I say our hearts were destined one day to be,

What of a love unspoken?

Here, I’m still waiting on the rising,
But again, I go fading out of sight.
I guess, to you, it must be surprising,
How I was gone before sparks ignite.

Blowing- free flowing- in your direction,
Cut short by a sudden change in wind,
Gusts trade vision with my projection.
Reversing in confusion- now I rescind.

For it’s you who holds my attention,
But by a selfish means of protection,
Had me leaving before a storm began.
I can see I was creating a rejection
But there really wasn’t even a plan.
My patterns of impulse and projection
Regrettably have led to your doubt,
And damage to a wholesome connection.
I admit- I reeled you in, I spit you out.

But I didn’t mean to be deceiving-
I’m just a little abandoned and abused
Was never good with people leaving,
Sorry I left you bruised and confused.

i think it’s ‘cause
i’ve never had
a boy to call my own
no whispered names, no midnight texts
no ache i’ve ever known
maybe that’s why i can’t quite grasp
why beautiful girls stay
my little sister and dearest friends
when what they call “love”
turns dull and gray
he speaks in thorns
not petals soft
and yet they hold on tight.
is it fear of being all alone
or hope that he’ll make it right?
and here i am
untouched by blinding love
can only stand and see
how strange it is to love someone
when they bring you only harm.

Life of a sincere, limerick?
On the fare and done, duty?
Asking in certain hushes, is to wait, sick?
Tolls of an evening bell, with sunshine's lucre...

Has met a new friend...
Toward integrity, we keep a shrewd liberty
To know one and another, the best possible amends
That come to fruition like a walk and a stare, with curiosity?

Dread is a cold should's soldier, with a family to feed...
Found in a future hug, a witness to the honor; we pray...?
Persuasion in a tale spin, to linger and say, I thought taken heed...
True to one's roots, if not routes of composure, to ask all of any?

Seldom has said hello
Seldom has a savior's lip, for may and decency
Seldom has a sharing voice, that lets life bellow
Seldom has said goodbye, but when you step forward, it is beauty

Seldom is your, spy, whatever...?
Water and mercy for youth, is nothing but climbing
Cares to see the end of them, is a quieter house lover...
With timid moments to share, a promise on fire with minding...?

I could pretend I’ve got it together,
Feign ignorance,
Fake confidence.
I could lie and say im fine with it,
Choke on trickery,
Cheat each bit of me.
But the truth of it is simple,
I fell in love and you fell backwards.
I’m moving slowly and you are
Moving on.
I went off the rails and you just
Went home.

It's a feeling that I can never
put my finger on,
to seize its power with a name.
It's that slight rhythmic delay
in conversations on the phone,
the footfall of our voices
constantly just out of step.
Moments that are almost inconsequential,
but I keep picking at them
in my mind
like the loose skin of a hangnail.
Thumbing at the thoughts
in a way you tell yourself is harmless.
Just a bit more...
Only in an instant, it's all irrevocably undone.
It's that bitter stone of doubt in your chest
when there's a full stop instead of an "x".
You can't help circling back
to that seed planted in your mind
earlier than you can ever remember,
that it's you - fundamentally,
objectively, intrinsically.
Against your own better judgement,
it's so easy to sink into the ruminations
of inadequacy and psychological self-flagellation.
How many more times must you feel this way?
It's so familiar that you can almost detach.
That every time you feel that sparkle of
human connection, of being wanted for a moment,
it's already waiting for you.
You already know it's inevitable.

Modern love
Plays out  
All over Facebook
And the social feeds
Not quite Shakespeare
It’s more Love Island themed
It started with a kiss
And ended with disease
True romance
Cozy nights in
A three course meal
Just for you
By him
Catching feels
***** flutters
Where digital love begins

Smitten kittens
Tagging each other
In the latest memes
A selfie before
The cinema screen
Holiday snaps
“A pic of my man
I love how he naps x”
Status updates
Painted on the wall
From single
To a relationship
In no time at all

Not quite Notting Hill
Just another IG Story
Eastenders drama
Is social media glory
Posting again
At 3 in the morning
The lies and deceit
Not so discreet
Posting the screenshots
And read receipts
“U ok ***
Wot happened
Babe DM me **”

Love to air your ***** laundry  
And filthy sheets
Content’s like clockwork
When a new lover’s
On the scene
Breaking up in style
Part of the routine
For an audience
That can’t help but stare
I’m obsessed
When a post is shared
No need for the town square
We’re all living
Vicariously through
You and your private affairs