Reality hits
I gasp for my breath
I can see again after a red mist
Gaze at the destruction
There's nothing left
Bridges have been broken
Lives have been torn
Ripped apart by an anger
Without any cause
An anger without thought
The brunt of the damage is a verbalised slew
There's a weight to my words at the end of this fuse
All my mates are like DUDE!
Calm down...!
The **** is it with you?!
I'm like the opposite of Midas
What I touch turns to ****
Just pass me that **** to relieve myself
And I take a couple hits
But then I'm a car crash in a moment
A mental explosion
So I try and stop my involvement
This **** lasts for about a week
Till curiosity gets the better
And I've had another draw
Back to the start again I guess
Now my brains chillin with Curious George
Okay, I'll tell you a little bit more
About this "fellow"
This "Curious George"
It's a name for a thought
Telling you to dabble, to cause
Mischief and mayhem with packs of drugs
Your well earnt money has bought
Taking over conscious thought
Is his final master plan
Deception is his game
In the form of a helping hand
"Experiment with my **** to see what life is like"
"How can you say no to these wicked ideas"
"Yeah just take a pill, it'll get rid of your fears"
Now you're crawling around
Whilst you're bashed off your face
Climbing up ladders,
When really they're snakes
Then it's on to the tabs
You taste that tingle on your tongue
"Go on, lick another one, the fun has only just begun"
So you do another one
Until you've never had enough.
The life and stuff you knew before dims and fades away
A never-ending state
A shadow of your former self
A conscious living grave
Or that would've been the case
Had there not been a saving grace
To aid along the way

Right after the first

news our ideas start running --


away from ourselves.

I miss how you used to laugh
And inspired everyone else to do the same.
I miss your fearlessness.  Your curiosity.
I miss how much you loved
to run and play games.
I miss a lot of things.
But what I miss the most is how pure you were.
Like the light from the midnight moon.
You were gone too soon, Innocence.

I feel as free as a kite
Whom you offer freedom only as much as you could bear .
You all let me fly but only to a certain height.
And pull me down the moment I get there .
Don't I look free ? But am I not tied?
Please don't be that way don' t be so  bare.
Let me fly untied.
It's cruel here I am scared .

You are easy to love
You make time for me
You are generous with your affection
You communicate your feelings for me without hesitation
You openly and honestly share your thoughts with me
You are curious about me
You want to know who I am and you want to know why

I can’t express how much this makes me feel loved and adored
The way you love me makes me want to be better for you
You have reached into my soul and pulled out emotions I have never felt
You spark my imagination and challenge me to explore new adventures
I hope I never have to wake from the dream you have given me
I want all of you – your laughter, your pain, your passion, and your heart
I promise to never take for granted this easy connection – intimate, honest, and rare

I looked over the frame and upward to
Meet your eyes when you passed by
A sidewalk beggar
A kenneled hound would
Present this posture to any passing uncertainty
Doning fangs or long coats and a predatory aura

Sky of grey
Clouds of palest hue
There are many things I wish to say
Great and small, all for you

Imaginably soft
Compared to cotton fluff
Gazed upon from a dusty loft
Full of old trinkets and stuff

Gifts hidden away
Cards and letters bound to stay
Beneath layers of time
Next to paintings of yellow and lime

Cobwebs left by content spiders
To be gazed upon by curious writers
Moved on for better prey
Webs left to be cleaned on an unseen day

- Jay M
January 13th, 2021