I look up to my father,  

as he holds his head in his hands

“He’s gone.”

My lungs don’t fill, my breath hitches.

Time stops.

Someone grabs my shoulder, pulling me away from reality

The floodgates open as I become vulnerable

Crying into the arms of an unknown



A disease that cannot be cured.

He went from lively to barely being able to carry his own sons

He became thin and pale

Lifeless

Sitting in a wheelchair

But he wasn’t afraid to die



Wearing all black, staring into the eyes of a dead man

1 wife, 3 young boys.

They don’t know what’s going on,

They just know that he’s gone  



One year later

The youngest boy leaves this earth

No one knowing how, or why.

But that he went to join his father in heaven



They say love stories always have a happy ending

Not this one.

Standing on a pedestal
Bleeding on a stage
Colored insides for the aesthetic
Beautiful gore
Enhancing your beauty with gore
Showing other people my bones
An idea of perfection being nothing but blood and bone
I lay here and laugh
At the body, i’ve destroyed
At the skin i've hurt
And the insides i've boiled
The commercials show the ideal size
So the people that tell me
The one that I killed
The one that I saved
Whoever would stop me
From crumbling bones
And melting eyes
Limbs are falling off and getting lost
But i'm the idea of pretty
With the gore falling away

Wailing, screaming, crying
I'm tearing my hair out
Breaking, sobbing, wheezing
I'm eating too much
Wishing, hoping, pleading
I'm checking my phone
Hurting, falling, snapping

i don't know why you did what you did or why youre here now

I cry
I laugh
Sometimes am forced to act like am okay
Even when things aren’t working my way

You refer to me as perfect
That you give me no space to cry
To me there is no chance of trying
I have to work like my life depends on it

Whenever I try to express my feelings
You say that am abnormal
You have forgotten that am human
And crying is just normal

You say that I have changed
Yeah that true
This is all because of this pain that you have inflicted in me
May be if you would have listened I would have been normal

Right now am indebted to the pain that you inflicted in me
Coz pain is like a loan
And no matter what I do I can never repay it
You’ve forgotten that am human
And crying is just normal

The empty plastic packet escapes its captor and runs down the street
Disappearing with the wind.
The horizon comes alive as trees sway with abandon.
The lone blackbird is seen hastily making its way back home.
That’s when I feel it.
The first drop,
Singeing my cheek,
Languidly making it’s way to my chin.
I look upto the sky for the first time.
Angry grey clouds veiling the sun stare back at me.
They seem desperate for release.
But something more powerful seems to be holding them back.
What is it?
What’s stopping them from unleashing sheets of rain
that will slide down from above
Hit the concrete and jump into a puddle?
“What’s stopping you?” I ask out loud
Chin tilted upwards, lips parted, eyes impatiently flitting across the scene above
I await a response.
For the longest time the clouds don’t reply
The tendons in my neck start to ache and I begin to look down
That’s when I hear it
The faintest sound whispering
At first the words seem too quiet, too incoherent
But they start to get louder, clearer
Those sounds become words that string together in a singular sentence that suffuses my being.
“You, are stopping us.”

the clouds were crying
to release the weight
from their shoulders.
yet there was no storm,
no ominous claps or flashes.
the sky was the lightest blue -
content, tranquil, at peace.