I knew i was in love i knew you were too
But i kept it a secret and so did you
I thought that I could trust someone
that was always there
That held my hand when life wasnt fair

But it was all a lie
I couldn't figure out why
But I just can't say bye
Because I love you and I know you love me

Haven't felt it in a while
That tearing inside and out
The feeling of an impaled heart
The breath coming to a halt
As your name and message
Flashed across the screen

i like you
i think
i like you enough to lie to myself
i like you enough not to leave you
but you love me
you loved me before you knew me
i don't know how but you did
i am not in love with you
but i'm willing to wait and see if i can love you

i like you**
but not enough to risk getting hurt
i like you enough to realize that i still like myself alone
than with you together
but i hate myself for not liking you how i should
because you love me
and i am crumbling

"Are you Okay?"
I'm not even sad.
"So what are you?"
God, I make myself mad.

Yeah, that's what I am,
I'm angry, *"At what?"
Shut up! If I knew…
"Lots would change. Not."

Maybe that's what I need.
"A change, that'll work."
Exactly, and if I'm lucky,
It'll wipe off your smirk.

"I'm not laughing."
Not at me, with me, correct?
"Well not exactly."
You understand that you're in my head?

That's it. It's all in my head.
"Except the scars on each inch of your skin."
That's different, I had to feel…
"Feel what? To what end?"

Feel SOMETHING! Anything…
"Anything at all?"
Yes. "And what if you don't?"
Upon the floor I will crawl.

Crawl into a hole.
"A hole in the ground?"
And have it filled up with dirt,
Never to be found.

"You're giving up."
I'm living all wrong.
"You're pathetic."
**So they've been right all along.

I don't believe you.

I don't subscribe to your thoughts
and the words that trickle out
of your head, to fall ******
on the pavement and disappear
down the gutter when
the rain comes.

I hope the rain comes soon.

A raging, rampant monsoon
to flood me dry and clean away
the raw, red finger-prints your diction
imprinted, a blood-red necklace ringing my throat.

I don't care for your intonation.

You, heedless of the power
of speeches simple sounds that decimate
veins and rupture explosive, ebony vessels,
setting me adrift on Moses' sea.

But, despite all, I reply in kind.

And
careless words leave me;
cutting you open.

Fractured mind;
tattered soul;
a body in ruin —
that’s me.

Morbid thoughts;
frozen heart;
bloated fingers —
that’s me.

Despair and hope.
Love and hate.
Cruel tenderness —
that’s me.

A smoking gun,
a flawed someone
perfectly imperfect —
that’s what I want.

I guess you can call me ****** up
Because there is nothing in me
That is pure enough to touch
That is not broken
That is not tainted by the feeling of hurt
Confusement
Or angst
There is betrayal in me
Sadness
And anger
So leave the ****** up little being
In her cloud of broken dreams