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The pain stings deeper than ever before
I'm not sure what I've done in this life or a past life to get dealt this hand
The winds howl, as the storm surges on inside of me
I just want to burry myself then keep on digging
Because maybe the darkness or silence will accept me
Maybe I cant fight anymore
Forgetting what it was I was even fighting for
Because I loved,
Oh my God did I love
Without boundaries or false pretence
With pure acceptance and irrefutable forgiveness
The love was pure
The pain that drives into me, will send me to madness
I want to be missed like I miss you Because by God do I miss you
Where is my silver lining
Love lost
Try Aug 2018
so close, but out of focus, we made basic motions,
random notions, sipped upon a potent potion, but it was not the solution to our issues,
still to this day eye miss you, still wanna trust you,
but in the end you crushed me,
its still punishing,
if only eye had 20 20 vision,
you were first and last,
every time eye think of you its a blast from the past,
some of the happiest times of my life,
though in the end you chose him over me,
when you chose to cheat that should of been the end,
but at the time eye was overly dependent on your company,
so why did you have to hold up a front on me?
why not just dump me?
it was obvious you no longer enjoyed my company,
were you trying to spare me the heart break?
or were you just always being fake?
was eye your biggest mistake?
or were you just too afraid to be true to yourself?
now you are just corrosive,
breaking down my defenses,
leaving me open to new attacks,
but you never covered your tracks.......

Asonna Aug 2018
Feelings of new, not witnessed before
it churns, makes the heart ache.
Feelings experienced within a new light,
yet fear is all that can be swallowed.
Months have passed and fall is gone,
and yet the feelings are somewhat whole.

Leap of faith, right off the cliff,
Potentially catastrophic.
Doubt constantly anew in mind
Yet it can't think of a reason why?
why not to do this?  They're here, no?
But for how long..

Communications are sparse with distance,
Is this really what they want?
It's doubtful.. Nobody really wants this..
Doomed to isolation of a stilled heartbeat,
they don't want it.. they don't want it.
do they? I don't know.. Fearful.

Hope is wanted, faith be achieved.
Happily ever after, that's the goal
Please forgive the hallowed belief,
it's all that's ever been known.
Give your hand, interlace it with mine
and please just never let go.
Hopeless Outlet Jun 2018
I've walked miles in these shoes
Not many destinations were places I'd choose

Hard to say exactly who I was back then
When footsteps disappear in the sand

A mirage of an oasis in the distance
More like a long ago wish

I can never shake this feeling
That I'll ever truly obtain an outlet

So I just type out confusing puzzles
In order to get out feelings in words

Just to explain who I am in a world like this
It is what it is
grace snoddy Mar 2018
i find it hard to let you know
what is really going through my mind
because words tend to stay locked
behind a wall of confusion
and the looks you give me
only reflect the sadly truthful words
you had said not too long ago,
blinding anything i’ve ever wanted
to give to you
and leaving behind only a shadow
hiding away the limp thoughts
i regret not saying sooner

but there is still this hollow feeling i get
that begs for recognition in the midst
of moving on
that makes falling seem just so right

because when you ask me if i love you,
i only wish i had the courage to say
“you make it hard for me not to.”
grace snoddy Feb 2018
i stand in a graveyard.
i see, though i am blinded by the past.
i see millions of tombstones surrounding me,
each one has words i dare not read.
i am scared,
and i am alone.
though i am not alone, there are ghosts who hold faces that are familiar around me.
they tell me that the light shall come soon.
they promise me this.
i do not believe them,
i have been fooled too many times.
and as i walk throughout this graveyard i come to a realization;
no matter how many ghosts stand by my side,
i am the only one who is of real flesh and bone.
who stands above the ground and not beneath it.
i cannot come to terms if this is good or not.
You wouldn't just leave,
that was never gonna be enough for you.

You wanted to drag my soul through the pits of misery,
have it's beauty carved on glass...
...because you knew just how easily it could break.

You wanted to take every part of me there was to take,
just so you could rip me to shreds...
...leaving me in pieces
that could never mend.

Little did you know that I was already detached from my being...
...the moment you thought you were becoming one with it.

That I was so estranged from the person you knew...
...because I was already becoming someone you would never get to know.

You took all there was to take,
not because you had that power over me,
but rather
because I gave up what was no longer necessary for my existence.
The beauty of pain is often found in acknowledging its lesson(s).
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