but i know there's no ghost on this island
cause his hands would be all covered in bud
not much else but a sight for the red eyed
a reality that seems real enough

everything you could want you can find by the beach
but after the music stops it seems everything dies
I've had my fun but I know its so empty
think i’ll just lay here until the sunrise

the dark waves of the night try to calm me
a drunk drag, lungs swell with liquid black
drowning in these thoughts on this island
hoping the waves will carry me back

Drip, drop
Until my heart stops
Bleeding with a meaning
I know they've been deceiving me

Don't stop
Fueling my addiction
I feed on all the tension and pain that I've been given.

My life
Caught up in a daydream
Pretending that I'm mainstream
Until they found the blood stains.

That knife
I don't know how it got there
Its sharp; my feeling: unclear
I just know I can't stay here

Inside me
There's so much that I've hidden
Constantly stumbling on decisions
Regret knows something's missing

Tick tock**
Time is leaving me behind
The clock is laughing at me
Im stuck on pause and can't rewind

I don't know what's worse
A boy ripping your heart out
Or a friend doing the same

I don't know what's worse
Staying up late because you're physically sick
Or staying up late because you're mentally sick

I don't know what's worse
Sleeping all day and night
Or not sleeping at all

Either way
Either or
I don't know what's worse in this life
Than the terrible things we go through

We're just humans
We can only take so much
Before we give up
Or give out

I want my stone
It's in
It's a pocket
A cave 
I'd never like to find myself there
But for my hand
I want my stone
Where's my stone
To go into my stone

Tear scent denim on the bedroom floor,
cradle for a cheekbone.
A portable reading light
A book bent backwards
A coiled ribbon
There 
They are me
On this bedroom floor
Under one table
where someone was once beautiful
and then still also after

If the world would touch me softly please
I might pretend that i am barely there
And the world might pretend it too

Is it possible to focus a moment more into one sense?
Maybe could i live one moment as more a sound

Tree branches almost seem
Like they move slower
Than the wind and air
Sometimes
And now
Thats me
Sometimes

But i can't stay
You were hurting me with the bin
And the unwanted
It was not needed 
Maybe i understand
But no
Nothing nothing
No 

A piece of thread floating
But moving past the leaf canopy
And the town
Village landscape
But glimpsing glimpsing the pale blue
Across those few changing colours

Old place 
Where i left my thoughts
I can see you now
But i never quite left it all

One day 
The light won't
Touch your naked skin anymore
When houses are the haunting
And my ghosts were your life

Possibly the **** of the first time i tried
Who else burried a heartbeat maybe
Under stone or nettle
Or in your earth and life?

Still you take me to you
Not even a stony galaxy 
Though that word seems not-right
Thank you thank you
A place that won't leave dents in my knees

Like a polished statue head
Not beauty
In fact
I almost melt
But there's a person of 
A passing person
A barely there and rarely remembered person about it
Them

vision then
vision then
but i must be breathing or
something close like an echo
coz my hands are speaking,
like these words
and changing screens
they came from this very day

my body has used this now place
here
like a human
and.

I'd just like to be just a figure in their bed now
gentle and blending
in softness and calm
stillness
like to inhale

A face weighs down shoulders
Don't make me a person

but please
though.

i never liked an uninvited light
when it sliced through my night-space

But a whisper
I don't know
But i know sometimes there's this imprint on the pillow beside me
just then i picture the walking man i spoke of once before
but no
but absolutely not like it at all
coz this whisper
is like the space of a something.
The world knows

Thank you

Part of me
                                    Feels empty
A hollow shell
                                    Non-existent
The other part
                                    Bubbles with anxiety
A tightness
                                    I can't lose

They are not mixed together

But they are also not pushing each other away

They are just coexisting

Something that shouldn't happen

That couldn't happen

So why is it happening now

?

She wonders if behind her bubbly exterior anyone can truly see her. Her reflection still lingers in the mirror but as she gets nearer it becomes an unrecognisable figure.

Conflicted, constricted as her life is restricted to the kitchen.

Her starsign was on the dotted line of this contract, not to be lived out as Taurus but for us! Them and a community that's idea of unity is spreading rumours about other families between sips of tea.

Sitting head in hands, these boundaries are bound to be the end of me is all she sees.

But this is my life! Why the continual strife? May as well pick up that knife on the side left from breakfast, better act fast and cut me, cut me deep, put me to sleep, Cause I can't walk this path, the one you lay before me.

The red carpet that fades to pink as it's left in the rain. The most I can hope for is the same in terms of my pain, that it erodes as I rust, become a husk of what I was and instead of tread that path, haunt it.

Do you love me
for  who I am?
or for what I am?

lust is not *love