‪and soon we all would forget,‬
These petty little thoughts,
When our mind wanders,
In places that shouldn’t be brought up,
Like in a memory we
Were walking down the streets
Of a gloomy Thursday evening
As we spent hours and hours
Just talking about our desires
Oh we went on and on
About our dreams and disasters
We had so much to aspire,
But that was already months ago,
As now i sat on my floor,
So i laid my head on my pillow,
And my heart starts to feel,
A little bit hollow,
My eyes start to see,
The dark sky outside my window,
I didn’t realize how time could be so shallow,
Taking my precious moments away,
God, why am i feeling so mellow?
Oh how I wanted you back, boy,
Back to where we said our very first hello

we walked through
campus together.
the sun was shining,
purple and gold
flowers lined our path.
in the fountain outside
of the library
birds were bathing
and the campus cats
were sitting in the
bushes, only admiring

because they know better than the boys on campus what not to touch.

Take me back to the night we met
When the day was hot
And the air was humid
The sky was crisp
And the clouds were nonexistent
Our skin spotted with sweat

My life was sprawled out in front of us both
My emotions were high
But you didn't care
You listened to it all
Stories
Memories
About my family
About my friends
About my random little trinkets
Things that meant nothing to you
And everything to me
You listened to it all

Take me back to that night
When we cleaned sticky **** off the wall
With Magic Erasers and Goo Gone
When we did nine loads of laundry
And you saw all the underwear I own
But you still didn't care

The air was silent
But we filled it with our voices
With laughter
With nervous excitement
Coming from the first date
Take me back to that night
When I first fell in love

i haven’t changed at all since the day i was born
my hair got longer
i got a little taller
but i’m still unexperienced and afraid
crying in a room with my parents
except this time
they don’t even notice.

Isn’t is strange how we notice things when it is too late?
This is probably the last time that all of us will be in the car together. There will be no more midnight drives from hillside theatres. No more 2am dinner plans at kerbey lane.
This is the first time that I have noticed that you twirl your hair when you drive. My eyes have shifted from cityscapes flying across backseat windows to watching you wrap your hair around your finger.
It’s not slow and flirtatious, but quick and desparate, as if you're trying to distract yourself from the fact that we are growing up. It’s making me anxious, but I can’t look away.
This is the first time that I noticed the change in our silence. We are driving down nearly empty highways, and we are leaving behind our time. We are no longer laughing, and this silence doesn’t feel like it usually does. For once, none of us have anything to say. Or maybe, we know that there is not enough time to say all of the things that we should and want to say.
This is when I noticed how much I love driving down empty highways at midnight. Everything is slow, there is no rush, and, for once, there are no expectations of me.
I am finally, truly noticing that there will never be enough time to tell you all that I love you,
to hear you talk about science,
to hear about your travels,
to talk to you about your struggles,
to drive, and laugh, and cry with you,
to watch you twirl you hair.
Now, we have grown up, and our distances will strain our years of friendships,
and there will never be enough time with you.

Soon
The Lightning McQueen light ups lying on the floor will be traded for shiny black pumps
Soon
The screams will be muffled cries for help rather than loud, blatant shouts of disobedience
Soon
Dinner won't be a time to be together, it'll just be another meal
Soon
Nights up late choreographing will be nights up late writing essays
Soon
Coming home won't mean the excited shouts of tiny voices, rather, silence or the sound of adulthood
Soon
Everything that used to be, won't be
Soon
Everything I know will be different.

it's no small wonder, watching birds learn to fly.

there's a small nest on the ledge outside my dorm window, and the chirping of the mothers wakes me up on the earliest of days. i'd be lying if i said i was overjoyed at the occurence, especially on the days when i have early class.
but then came the babies.

like me, they were cold and afraid in a completely new environment.
like me, they were scared to death of every person walking by.
like me, they had no clue how to fly.
but like me, they learned.

i live somewhere else now, and still get woken up by the birds. i can't help but wonder sometimes if they're the babies that learned to fly on the ledge outside my room around the same time that i did, stroke by wobbly stroke through the turbulent air. it's amazing how much they've grown. i'm so proud of them.

likewise, i'm proud of myself. i made it through the first year of college-bad grades, no friends, drama, and adjusting to being by myself a lot was a really hard transition. once i left the nest, that was it. and it was terrifying. but i've learned to fly since those days, and despite a badly paying job, no friends in the area, and being down on myself, i'm still hovering above the ground. that's no small accomplishment.

it's no small wonder, watching birds learn how to fly.