All I hear from the outside are muffled sounds. There are cars honking and people chatting but I am too focused with the idea of you being here, of you making sounds while you play with your cat. So, let me rephrase that. I hear everything that’s happening outside but I choose to hear you in my mind.

Everything is foggy but I am not anywhere near dizzy. Everything is foggy. I can’t remember the place where I come from before all these. Everything is crumpled into a piece of paper where I let my heart bled before you happened to me. Everything seems to be scary with the loud people and beeps of vehicles. I won’t ever take on risking my life for anything except here, in this place where you and I exist. Maybe from now on I will be.

This place must be big to fit the furniture and stuff you have but with you and I inside it just seems to shrink into a size of a doll house. It couldn’t contain what we feel that I can hear your heart beating from a meter. I will just try my best to pretend I am not staring at you with my peripheral vision. I will pretend that I can’t see you gazing at me with those mellow-painted eyes. I will pretend that you can’t hear my heart beating all for you. If I surrender, and I submit, we could both get into trouble.

Don’t laugh. I know we both can see everything from here. The curtains are closed but we have eyes to see beyond. That’s how we found each other’s arms. That’s how we ended up here. I repeat. Don’t laugh for the curtains may be closed but we both know we have audiences waiting for us to end this show.

For now, you may laugh. We both may laugh with sugar on our tongues and words as our cape. I have just one last request of you. May you never get tired of seeing my light that you’ll choose to open the curtains and I promise you. I’ll never dim this light to give to another except you.

Because there is nothing
worth the saying


talk-- talk


nearly everyone that talks--


Talks. About. Nothing

After the door shuts and the footsteps die
the truth comes out that I wish to hide
skeletons stack up and gather in my closet
pulling the truth out of a tight lipped pocket

Closing my eyes wishing it all away
wishing I could run instead of stay
I hide and hide my feelings from you
hoping you have the same feelings too

I open the door and there you are
my own personal shining star
you don't have to be anything to gain my love
your love is as pure as a dove

Stealing my heart with all you are
I wish this love to go very far
but you took my love
and gave it a huge shove

Tearing it to all kinds of shred
making me feel buried and dead
I take the pieces left and run
feels like you shattered my heart with a gun

Sitting in my own puddle of tears
reminiscing all of our greatest years
The damage is now over and done
trying now to make again myself one

Your head is so hard,
It could break me to pieces,
But your touch is so soft
That my heartbeat, it ceases
For a short amount of time
Until you break me once more;
Your heart wants to love me,
But you're mind closes its door.

I have my eyes closed

I find it dim right way
Here, for you I may pray
Or at least, I try to say
I try to find place to lay

I have my eyes closed

I solemnly choose good words,
Sentences and proper phrases
To poetically picture the aches
That fade me to ashes

I have my eyes closed

My mouth keeps murmuring
And the mind can't stop arguing
What if it might be nothing
Nothing helps to keep believing


Jan, 20 2016

My eyes are closed still.

Make me!

Close my eyes
& hold my breath.

While I kiss you
and you kiss me back...

I know of a great door which has no ****,
No handle to grip, no doorbell to throb,
Long ages I've sat against its base,
And dreamt of the wonders behind its face.

Eyes of inky green
Smile like old whiteout fluid
She would never leave

i don't need your judgements,
i can't stand this place,
& the next person that rubs me the wrong way,
is gonna get punched in the face,
oh you''re just a waste of time and space,
same person, different face, sometimes i think
i hate the human race.

i don't need your ego,
i don't need your lies,
and i don't need your approval,
see, it's you that i despise.

shallow and hollow, ignorant and weak,,
i'd rather live in silence then listen to you speak,
arguing with you is like screaming at a brick wall,
you look at us like we're freaks, you don't understand
us at all...

so closed minded and cruel, just a bunch of brainwashed clones,
i will not follow the herd, mark my words, i would rather walk alone.