The worst feeling in the world is that of realization.
Not realization as in enlightenment.
Realization as in that crushing moment when your wold falls and cumbles landing on your already broken heart.
Realization is when it hits you.
He's not yours anymore.
You can't text him anymore
He's not gonna tell you everything is okay.
He's never gonna say he loves you anymore.
He doesn't
You do.
He has moved on
You haven't.
He has a new girlfriend
It makes you cry.
He ignores you
You reach out to him as though searching for a lifeline.
As if a single hello will pull you out of the waters your drowning in.
Realization hurts.
Like when it hits that as your crying alone he's in another girls embrace.
As your breaking down
She's holding your world.
As you sit blade poised over your wrist.
She's kissing him and he's saying he loves her.
Just like he said to you.
He knows he hurt you
He doesn't care
He knows your crying
He wont be their.
He never will
Ever again.
After I put this pen down I'm done.
I'm going to block him
Delete the messages
Forget he once resided in my heart.
And move on.
So I can he happy.
This realization wont destroy me.
I won't let it.
Ever.

You take over my thoughts
like an army taking over the castle of my mind
pillaging my memories
****** my trust
marauding my joy
and burning down my bridges
forcing me to submit to you
call you my king
and treat you like such
you give me no contact to anyone outside your walls
i thought it was because you cared
foolish little girl
i realize now
you did it so i couldn't see how green the grass was
without you.
and that way people couldn't show me
all the cracks in your facade
flaws in your stories
and to think at one point
i thought you were pampering me
treating me like the queen i am
but no
you were simply masking the cyanide
covering it with a sweet tongue
so I wouldn't realize what you were doing to me
would one day lead to my demise
but that's what you wanted all along.
isn't it?
kidnap my heart
forcing my body to follow it
only so you can
keep that captive too
holding me in a cage
a cage made of
threats
anger
alcohol
and mostly
lust.

Silence speaks
Louder than words
          So, I decided to go sonic
          Chasing you is akin
          To an illness chronic
                        I misapprehended
                        Your smile for love
                        Truly it was a trick
                                        Despite this hurt
                                        I feel for you
                                        So, ironic

*Bharti

The last time I fell in love with a liar
You warned me of the heartbreak
The tragic disposition of shallow grace
And panicked distaste.
But the truth reserved itself
Somewhere in a goodnight kiss
And the hurt lay hidden in the sleep.
So when the turn of the century awoke
The complacency of goodbyes fell.

at the time a polaroid was a mark of friendship
so we decided to go raid a photobooth
but the pictures never captured
they didn't get the time to

because across the street was a fancy new camera shop
with a fancy new cashier
who had pretty, pretty hair
and could actually fit into a polaroid with you

and i was surrounded by the walls of a madhouse
from inside the photobooth
because you entangled the curtain entrance
so i was locked in

i wanted to see nothing
so i stared directly into the camera lenses
hoping the flash would blind me
because apparently you're blinded and happy

but i hit the wrong button
and the flash never came
but there were pictures printed
just of your hands around her waist

i took about 50 copies
and taped them to the lampposts lining abandoned cemeteries
i tossed the receipt into the lake,
i scattered the letters of your name into the rain

Dear Teacher,
I am not your "Inspiration" nor am I your "Motivation"
Do not use me as an "Example"
They hate me enough already
I do not need to talk to you after class, I am doing just fine
Bs aren't acceptable?
I'm sorry I couldn't complete your assignment
I was mentally ill that day.
No, don't give me an A when I didn't work for it
That's cheating
Me
Out of life
Yes I can handle it
I'm not as Weak as you think I am
Dear Teacher
I know I made you cry at graduation
You didn't think I'd be able to do it
I told you
I could handle it.

They said it would hurt less,
They said life would kick-start again,
But who knew what lay deep within this fool's heart?
May she be happy, he wished.
May she love, live and laugh, he wished.
But who wished for him?
The memories within him were too deep to be scraped off.
He was just left with the memories buried deep within him.
They said he would recover.
They said he would forget those times,
But forgot about the hurt his heart was filled with.
They said he would learn to love again,
They said he would learn to trust again,
But they forgot, once bitten, twice shied.
He was there, just there, like a puppet, and all that remains within him are memories.