9/11/2014
when i look up at the sky at night,
i feel this deep longing.
like that's where i'm supposed to be.
i believe i'm meant to be a star,
or a planet,
or a moon,
or a sun.
i'm not meant to be here,
i'm celestial,
i am not meant to be trapped in this skin,
i am meant to roam the universe,
i am meant to shine,
and fly
but i know that is something i will never achieve.
not in life.
perhaps in death,
if one could wish.
though for now i am trapped.
as always.
as i've always felt.
trapped.
i look at my body and i do not feel it is me.
i do not see this as an extension of myself,
it simply is,
apart from i
i look at my friends,
and i know they will never understand.
they do not know that i feel inferior,
they do not know that i feel useless in this meat suit i'm residing in.
they do not know that their dear friend longs for death,
not because i want to die,
but simply because i want to *live,
as i believe i was meant to
© 2014 Scarlet Van Allen
