#calories poems on Hello Poetry

Roopkatha Nov 1

cookies

I had cookies after lunch
I had it, to tell myself
I could do it
I could eat cookies
and not think about the numbers
I could eat cookies
and not stare into the toilet bowl
I couldn’t do it
I looked into the toilet bowl
Reached into my mouth
And pulled it out
With slow and painful shoves
Though slow,
The way it happens
Is expedited
But it’s not enough
It’s never enough
The inside of the toilet bowl is stained with regret
The inside of my guts are still full of regret
But I cant get it out
It stays
I couldn’t do it
I don’t know when my food
Started tasting like regret
And looking like numbers
I miss how it made me feel
When my parents got me a donut
The smell of the warm bread
The feel of the chocolate between my fingers
I could eat 2 at once
And not give it a second thought
All 2 donuts are now
Is 500
500 too many
500 more of regret
I don’t want to think about the numbers
On the scale
Of my food
The number of scars I’ve painted on my thigh
I’ve never preferred math

Im 13, be nice

#eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #selfharm #eating #sad #sob #math #calories

Emery Feine Oct 12

Empty Calories

They should really invent a place where I belong.
Not one with entirely sunshine and rainbows,
God knows I've prayed too little for that,
But one where
I fit.
I don't stand out,
But I'm still my own person
And not that me that I've shown others,
Deceived them for far too long.
My fixation with belonging
It's like a need
That will never once be met.
And I'm left starved and ravenous
For just an ounce of it
And its empty calories

this is my 127th poem, written on 10/11/24

#emptiness #calories #belonging #society #fittingin #fixation #sunshine #praying #self #starved

Aspen S Feb 2022

coming undone

i cannot seem to forget
the smallness i had become.
bruised thighs
and sunken eyes
were my reality;
my skin was devoid of
any nutrients,
fragile and delicate.
i could vanish
into nothingness
like quicksand.

my days bled into
one another,
fingers frozen,
heart barely beating,
lungs hardly breathing.
i stared down the
barrel of the gun,
wished to purge my urges,
sat in an endlessly deep
pool of misery until
drowning was all i could do.

i replaced food with air,
consuming empty calories
and dug knives into
my skin as a personal hobby.

i am an open would
that never heals,
and i am desperate
to move on.

a poem on my eating disorder. i thought i had come far only to relapse within a year. here's to starting over.

#eatingdisorder #disorder #illness #calories #mentalhealth

Jane Nov 2021

I starved myself, to feed Anna

You think I'm pretty? You don't think I should change?
Not by a single gram I won't, I promise Anna.

It's my friend Anna, she's always here for me.
Anna, I don't want to think, tell me what to do,
Yes, thank you Anna, I'll calculate those for you.

Did you say I look perfect Anna?
I can maintain perfect by being perfect.
I can be precise Anna, I promise, don't leave.

Anna, that's a lot of calculating.
Sorry Anna, you're right, perfection takes hard work.
I'm unafraid of toil.

Anna, I'm worried Anna, I can't stop feeling.
Think? I can over think to stop the feeling.
I'll gladly overthink than to over feel.
You're right Anna, I can numb it.

Anna, I'm craving something.
You're right Anna, I will never have that.

Anna, I never told you what I craved.
I craved love Anna, I craved safety.
I'm hungry for a meaningful life Anna.
Please feed those to me.

Why don't you give me what you promised Anna?
You became a liar Anna, but love is blind and I need you.

Speak for me Anna, lie for me Anna.
Anna others want to feed me, Anna, I don't know what they're feeding me Anna, stop them, it's unsafe where it's uncertain.

Yes, what Anna said, I already ate.
When?
Anna, they're catching on Anna, do something.

Anna, I'm hungry, Anna.
I've been keeping you alive to keep myself dead.

Anna please,
I starved myself, to feed Anna.

#eatingdisorder #eating #disorder #calories #caloriecounting #obsessive #obsession #perfection #perfectionist

Sara Mlady-Allison Feb 2021

How many?

One sip 40 calories
One bite 50 calories
How many calories until I finally feel ok myself again?
Or was I ever?

#food #eating #disorders #calories

Anais Vionet Dec 2020

conclusions

Don't let anyone
with bad eyebrows give you life
advice - it ends badly.

I don't mind seeing my ex with
someone else - I usually donate
unused things to the less fortunate.

I wonder how many
calories I burn jumping
to wrong conclusions.

calories, eyebrows and ex-boyfriends - the Jeopardy category is "Things we can use less of."

#calories #eyebrows #boyfriends #conclusions #teen

Anais Vionet Nov 2020

exercise is important

Kissing burns 6.4
calories per minute, so,
you wanna work out? =]

cardiovascular workouts can extend our lives - lets live forever

#kissing #calories #workout #teen

Ella Grace Mar 2020

Just be skinny

Why aren’t your bones showing?
I don’t see a gap between your thighs
You shouldn’t wear that top
That shirt isn't flattering

Calories, calories, calories
Better start watching them
I think you’ve gained a few
Do your clothes even fit you?

Push past your limits
Watching what you eat is a good thing
Its fine to skip a meal
…Or two

What do I want to look like?
Well, I want my ribs to start showing
My thighs to start thinning
and don’t even get me started on my double chin

I hate myself
I hate my body
I just want to look like her
Why do I have to look like this?

Look in the mirror and tell me what you see
Be careful about the food you eat
Cover your body, nobody wants to see that
Just be skinny!

#calories #anorexia #body #ugly #skinny #food

Arden Dec 2019

things my eating disorder has googled (TW)

If I think harder do I burn more calories

Does being hot or cold burn more calories

Silent night time exercise

how many calories in
           lexapro
           ibuprofen
           air
           saliva

how many calories did Auschwitz prisoners eat

is diy liposuction possible

what body parts can you live without

could they have poured calories in this water

how to give myself the flu

can thinking about food make you fat

how much does a finger weigh

please don't hate or make fun of me for the things I have wondered. I am mean enough to myself.

#ana #mia #ed #eatingdisorder #calories #tw

Arden Sep 2019

Don't have an eating disorder

I don't have an eating disorder
But
I eat one meal a day

I don't have an eating disorder
But
I cant eat more than 700 calories a day

I don't have an eating disorder
But
I have to skateboard at least 5 hours a day

I don't have an eating disorder
But
If I don't know how many calories is in something I can't eat it

#eating #disorder #eatingdisorder #disorderedeating #food #calories #exercise #meal #anorexia #anorexic