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kyla marie Sep 2022
I’m faking it just to stay on top
of everything I’ve buried
longing
mistakes
regrets
sorrow
failure
heartbreak
****** desire

I can’t stay on top of it all like this
it slips out in waves
and when I try to let myself submerge in my emotions

I drown

and sink

deep

deep down


until that morning alarm clock rings.
fueled by burnout, lack of intimacy and passion, and a whole bunch of things I need to talk about in therapy.
Eve K Jun 2022
I'm surfing, along the coastline.
The waves pulling me in, my strength pushing me out.
Music in one ear, shouting in the other.
I breathe, a breath of salty air. It settles in my lungs and I choke.
Sometimes the salt can clear the alveoli and make it easier to breathe,
But not today.

Today the air is heavy. Clouds pour down single droplets but when altogether, it is a storm. The wind howls, burning my ears. Whispering that it's all too much.

I crave a fall into the ocean, pulled out to sea. It's become too much and I'm drowning.
But I'm not drowning. I float. I float with tears mixing into the salty water. I can feel the undercurrent begging me to come down to it so it can pin me down to the sea bed where I can hold my last breath and breath again.
But it's not breathing it's drowning and the thought makes me thrash around and I panic.
So instead, I panic on top of the water, thrashing and jerking around desperately trying not to drown.

The skies will become clear again. The stormy skies will reveal the blue which is always there. The stars are still shining underneath the despairing clouds. They are always there, just hidden at times.

All I have to do is breathe with the waves and stay afloat till the storm goes away.
over the past few years, I have experienced so many things as a nursing student working in a rest home and now the hospital. There's days, weeks, months where I struggle. The emotional overload of having to see the worst positions people are in. Sometimes it's hard to find hope again in these times. Especially when surrounded by death and despair and dying. It's not going to get easier but that's why I become more resilient. But it's also important to take moments when things are too tough to just sit with the feelings. Otherwise I will drown.
Megitta Ignacia Apr 2022
malam ini,
si bocah rewel berhenti menyamar
pikirannya terlalu gerah
jiwanya renta, terkekang
tempurung dahi hanya terisi geram
kantong kapuk bersaksi
atas tangis kelelahan tanpa suara

ia sempat doyan bekerja
berpayah-payah memunguti kerikil
satu demi satu
tiap pijakannya bukan tindakan acak
menempa diri demi bilangan

kini yang tersisa
hanya pendar-pendar ambisi & setungku kekosongan menjemukan
Ia berkutat pada teka teki yang tersuguh manis
mencari pembebasan yang sepadan
berharap segera merdeka dari jerat alur yang mengikat keras

berlumuran lamunan
ia berserah, membakar doa
sambil melempar akal
'adakah satu dari seluruh umat manusia yang masih belum paham, kita ini gerombolan wayang bukan dalang!'
080422 | 00:01 Anjani itu salah satu nama tokoh pewayangan yang artinya ketekunan. Dari bawah selimut, tempat tidur di kosan gunung talang lantai 3, AC dingin banget, diluar panas banget. Hari-hari ini sedang benar-benar burnt out. I work 7-days-a-week, Masuk early & pulang paling malem dibanding orang lain, and achieve a tremendous result, but I'm tired & apperently nothing can be done from company side. Praying for new - better -more relaxed job soon. I can't do this anymore. Balik lagi, pada ahirnya kita bisa punya banyak may tapi Tuhan yang atur apa, dimana, gimana, kapan yg terbaik buat kita. I know the blessings are coming, just need to surrender to God💆
Michael Feb 2022
My phone screen is too bright
Parties are too loud
Work is exhausting

And what I’m doing for my mental health isn’t enough

I hope this ends soon
Not with death, I just want whatever this is to stop
I’m getting through it, don’t get me wrong
I’m just worried to see who I am when I come out the other side
Healthcare worker who is very tired
I S A A C Feb 2022
cultural burnout, the hurt bubbling up
cannot put a lid on it any longer
the feelings keep getting stronger
my muscles ache, my brain is dazed
cultural burnout, the days slip away
the workweek is all I know
I barely ever leave my home
no escape, no break
inside the cage, this lake
B Jan 2022
I'm my mother's daughter
It's in my genes to cry
The littlest things set me off
When I was in third grade
I cried at my standardized writing test
It wasn't hard, I was just stuck
I love writing
I'm good at it
I always have been
But I couldn't handle the pressure to write well
That my entire life was based on my grades
and how well I scored on tests
And wrote about a three page story
I cry when I'm frustrated
When I could do a math problem on my homework
When I couldn't remember simple biology questions
But I did well on the tests
So they assumed I was fine
I assumed I was fine
How could I not be fine, I did well
I was talented
I was skilled
And I was doing well
My life was too good for me to be upset
I had to reason to be upset
And no one realized I might no be ok
Until I stopped eating and lost 15 pounds
But even then I told myself I was fine
I was eating less because I was doing less
I wasn't using as much energy so I wasn't eating full meals
I only at a tiny portion of my already small plate
But I was eating so I was fine
I moved out and started school, fully online
I was lonely
But I had my roommates
So I was fine
I couldn't bring myself to go to the class I thought I would love
I was failing a class
I was doing nothing to fix it
I was starting to hate writing and reading
But I had a plan to leave my major
So I was fine
I failed my first college class
But everyone gets one mistake
Everyone screws up once
It was during covid
Everyone is struggling
So I was fine
Everyone else is fine
So I am fine
And I keep telling myself that
In hopes that one day it'll be true
I am Fine
name,
class,
professor,
date.

intro.

i believe i am quite burnt out.

conclusion,
bibliography.
footnote
finn Oct 2021
assignment
plan
email
study
class
work

when, pray tell
do you end
going on and on
like a whisper of tv static
leaking in though the back door of my mind

work

this fire is manmade
it is artificial
and when the fuel runs out
burnout will finally reign
and this hollow head, reaped of all its treasures
will succumb

work
work
work.
history class is BRUTAL guys
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