The kid is talking to themself again

And gets called a freak

But they don’t care

Because they always have someone there




“Your friends aren’t real.”

Said the child’s mother

The kid covered their ears and ran

But the friend only smiled




The laughs that cried

Out into the night

So their parents came

To shut off the bedroom light




“It’s time to grow up”

Said the father

But the true friend offered an escape

And reached out their hand




The darkness shifted

To the world of dreams

And then they ran

Hand in hand




“You child is lost in an illusion

“They need to get rid of it”

Tears in their eyes, not wanting to let go

But when they turned around, there was nothing there




So they grew up alone

A life now forgotten

There was no one to talk to

So they cried themself to sleep




“Just make some real friends”

I told them

But then I realize

You were never there all along

Why do you ignore me

Do my words mean nothing to you

I told you to stop

but you never did




if you have decided

to keep going

then go off your own way

and leave me behind




I want to scream

I want to cry

it was never my intention

to say goodbye




But even with

your intentions

that i never know

of they are good or bad




you made the choice so easy




We tried to ignore our differences

and leave the past behind

but no matter how hard we tried

we just couldn’t take it off our mind




You can say what you want

but why should i listen

when i showed you the darkest parts of me

you tore me apart

and left my heart

broken in two




I tried to be so open

but you just couldn’t accept

when i didn’t think the same thing as you

and tried to turn me

into another version of you




It doesn’t matter anymore

I guess it’s even now

you hurt me

and i hurt you

How can I possibly fix this misery
It’s like a non stop bleeding injury
That I constantly feel everyday
Is there a cure for it or some way?

I was so innocent then, now I’m unsure
How can I fix my heart that was once pure?
Am I still the same, is all this in my head
Life feels so fake from the books I’ve currently read

Its events that occur from time to time
Yet here I am making simple words rhyme
When am I going to experience what they do?
And when am I going to find friends who will be true
Jealousy arises within me as I see others laughing
Meanwhile all I secretly do is basically crafting

Writing words that appear out of nowhere
And after I’m done, I would simply stare
At the poems I’ve created which is my only talent
Yet are there any others that are somehow unbalanced?

The feeling of hopelessness drips in me
I wish I can view the world like in the past
And to be able to finally see
That friendships are likely never to last

Why can’t I see the colorful side of the world
To be able to listen to the words I’ve been told
My heart currently feels extremely cold
Can’t all this just be sold?
Maybe I just need an animal to hold.

The child that viewed the world as vibrant
As there were no given requirements
If I could return to these peaceful days
And forever be stuck, yet I wouldn’t learn the right ways

Life moves on it’s how we survive
Soon will be able to drive
The amount of responsibilities is hard to take in
Am I ever going to finally win?

Diverse opportunities come my way
Hangouts and current friendships that want me to stay
But I want to leave this all behind
Or maybe even wish for time to simply rewind

Where I used to love the little things
But now guilt is all it brings
For how I didn’t succeed my ways
Exams that constantly fill my trays

Pressure is adjusted frequently a lot
The damage in my heart that I thought I had fought
Which constantly returns one day around another
And when anyone asks I’d say I’m subtle
Battles I fight that never seems to end
Why can’t my mind just for once try to comprehend?

That the ones who truly love and already in front
So why am I constantly trying to hunt
Hoping to leave her cruelness all behind
But there’s still a missing piece I’m hoping to find

What if that piece was filled years ago
But it’s like I covered it up with heavy freezing snow
I’d first cared and asked as much as I could
For the ones who I cared about yet now I feel stood
Not by them, but by the one who I knew would hurt
So why haven’t I yet learnt?

My heart needs to be fixed as soon as it can
And I want to adjust myself a suitable plan
Afraid of pushing away the ones who have been there since day one
But of course I can’t just simply run

If my actions continue to stay the way it is
Life’s for sure gonna get harder than this
With college applications and constant regulations
Patiently having to wait if we receive any invitations
Scores that are required to enter
Yet my patience will soon surrender

All I can think about yet ruined my life
Hopefully one day my poems would be rife
When people who done me wrong return
To ask for help, I would never give them an intern

Confident as I sound
My heart still feels like it hasn’t been found
Trying to get over what she did
Wishing I could NEVER forgive yet god forbid
Peace is what one shall make
Even if they are one hundred percent fake
But why am I holding my life like it's at stake?

How to get over it is what I frequently ask
It’s simply a disturbing task
Undeserving of the attention I silently give
Why can’t I just focus on myself and let me live

Digging myself into a deeper hole
As if I have just lost control
Unable to explain the way I feel
But when can life finally feel real?

My heart pouring and bleeding
Trying to connect the words while I am speaking
However, the tears in my eyes just keep leaking
When it’s not me, but the thing that’s beating

Hoping to feel the sense of excite
Knowing that it was right
Now it’s impossible to enjoy what I used to
When will my time stop being so blue?

To deserve more than this is what I expect
But do I have any sense of respect?
As I drift away from the ones I love
Especially how I used to be above

Constantly giving advices to the ones who ask
How come I never use it
Is this another impossible task?
Or something I can rarely admit

This isn’t me
But who is she?
Is this the one who is calm and pure
Or the one that has been recently endured

Amount of things I am somewhat afraid
Numerous people who have had me played
Too dumb to notice don’t understand how
Can’t all this just leave me alone and end now?

If I lose him, I’d end myself
Not what you think so stop asking yourself
Through the amount of pain my heart has bled
Fake rumors about me will never stop being spread…

My confidence had somewhat decreased
And I however am not simply pleased
I just want the girl who wasn’t hurt
Change can really affect one as well as leave tear marks on their shirt

Failure is what I’m afraid of most
But I won’t tell anyone, so instead I’ll have a delicious well made toast

a rose garden
filled with beautiful flowers
on the surface
but inside is a tangled web of thorns
every petal another lie, another
"i'm fine, i'm ok"

topiaries in twisting, beautiful shapes
all of roses
lovely on the surface
a fairy tale come true
but that's just what it is

a story

but when the flowers wilt,
when the topiaries grow wild,
the thorns grow larger until they start to stab themselves
millions of tiny punctures
as the music plays
and the petals fall
and the thorns strike the heart
and the vines grow over the corpse

I forgive you
I do
But right now
You have no clue
I'm too sad
To be near you

I'm overwhelming
I'm nagging
I'm begging and pleading
I'm unbearable
And you're there
Under my skin
Just beneath my grin
It's not the right time
For you to finish my rhymes

We never said goodbye
Now it's hello again
Are we friends
Or is this pretend
I'm so fragile
You have no idea

I say I'm playing it cool
Then call you like a fool
No answer
No answer
I realize
My crazy banter

Then you text me a day later
And all is fine
But I'm out of my mind
I miss you
I always did
But it's deeper than that
I'm a lost kid

I'm sick and afraid
Alone and ashamed
Desperate for comfort
Desperate for compassion
I run to you
I run and run
And plunge into your soul
Never wanting to let go
But you don't want to be that close
Again

I understand, old friend
That's smart
That's who you always are
But I'm fragile
I'm broken
Looking for old pieces
Hiding in familiar faces
To tape me back up
To keep me standing
Life is so demanding

And I'm missing the main piece
I can't be put back together again
After losing you the first few hundred times my friend
I think it was finally my end
Then again
Here I am
I'm just fragile
And broken
Wondering if you'll be there with me
Again

There's a mystery she hides
As she passes by through a tree
No one is particular with her name
Even her face no one could see

As she swing in the cradle in the tree
Swing, swing back in fourth
she stopped and turn her way to me
Everything went dark

And, I wake up lying in the park
It is near the lake that I could barely see myself
It's me who no one dares to ask
It's me who embraces darkness than weakness
It's me who feels denied so isolate