Last time
it was because I hid my feelings
and released them
through deep sighs
late at night
that only you could hear

Last time
it felt as though
the pain
would never stop escaping
from my pores
and the air around me
was thick with sadness

This time
it was because you could not bear
the pain of saying goodbye
when hello only came
after 10 pm, drink in hand

This time
I feel like I am choking
on every drink you have ever given me
and the only way out
is to bring the memories back up
like swords in my throat

Last time
I fixed the problem
with sleepless nights
by your side

Last time
going to bed
became a necessity
I grew to hate

This time
the problem
was waking up next to you
and leaving shortly after

This time
I wake up
with a heart
that feels like it was beaten
and bruised
in the night

Last time
you came back
because you never
really left

This time
I think you are gone
but I am too afraid
to check

Some part of you is like the moon
softly glowing beside me on my too-small bed,
and the monumental loneliness you wear as a halo
must be a trick of the eye despite keeping me awake,
hunched over a folder of unedited poems at 2:45AM.
I wonder what the moon dreams of when the sun
tucks it into bed at dawn as your eyelids flutter
and your breathing hitches for a moment
before you roll over, face the wall,
parting clouds with a small sigh.

I love the feeling of the wind,
Right before a thunderstorm.
I love the smell of cinnamon,
On a cold winter day.
I love the sound of the trees,
The way the leaves tussle in the breeze.
I love the sight of the clouds,
Turning from white to grey.
But I could never love these things,
As much as I love you.
I lone to feel your skin against mine.
The touch of your lips against mine,
Your hand intertwined in my hand,
The sound of your heart beating,
At the same pace as mine.
Someday, I will be by your side.
And I'll never leave, we'll never be apart again.
God, I love you so much..

I still do not have words for you
and my silence in the restaurant
was not due to speechlessness
or too many thoughts
trying to force their way out

I have just run out of ways
to rephrase the sentences
I say to you
every time
we do this

It doesn't hurt any less
and I still haven't lost
my will to fight for you
but I have learned
when to save my breath with you
because I know there will be
another time
when you will take it away

There are bruises on the insides of my thighs from your hip bones
and bruises on my lips from your teeth.
There is a bruise on my chin from bumping heads while we slept
and a bruise on my heart from the words that fell out of your mouth.

These bruises are reminders
That *** is clumsy
Kissing is sometimes better when you're smiling
Sleeping together is messy and beautiful
And words leave marks that will never fade.

Bruises in a positive light; what a concept.

My Mother told me
that today was the first day
of the rest of my life

                                                                                        I want you in it.

I love you.
You make me become cotton, above
the wind, effortlessly gliding upon
rolling meadows of marigolds.

Wait

You're the cold snap before the morning
sun, always biting and freezing
loose particles of moisture in the air.

No, wait

You've brought my senses back, like rewiring
a lamp and giving it a fresh bulb, illuminating
the surrounding shadows with a smirk, smile.

Actually, wait.

You've made my mind out of confusion,
changing the pace, lying on high tide
forgetting the time we've spent out at sea.

Please wait,

I've just wanted to hang on, I miss feeling
like I'm whole again around the puzzle piece
that caught my attention. Love and wait

For me.

I woke up
thinking about that time
we stifled our movements
to keep from being heard
by your friend in the next room

The sun on your back,
I tried to wrap my fingers
around rays of light
and run them down your rib cage

Our lips hit like bolts of lightning
followed by thundering smiles
and streams of hot air

Your hands held me
as I wiped the hair
from your forehead
and laughed into your ear

As you try to peel your body
away from mine
I summon you back
with the taste of my tongue
until you have ingrained it
into your memory
and can remove yourself
without unanswered questions