They've become a rainforest.
your eyes drip off of leaves,  
pouring from tips of branches-
scrunched in, your shoulders
dictate stories of pain,
with knees curled in, knuckles
white, clenched and sweaty,
whimpers escape lips,  
reliving memories:
mother stalking closets,
slamming doors,
stomping steps,
shouting obscenities but-
The belt is put away,
rib cages no longer bruised,
all left behind.
Take a step;
Take a breath;
Let me in.

I see you in colors no one else can see
As if the light had split and lay you down for me -
painfully so -
arrogantly pursuing a spectrum so elaborate...
golden and gleaming...
God, do i try to keep up:
I see you as the red green blue black that resides under our protective layer of peach
Crimson cheeks and crimson thoughts
Ivy trailing hair of such unexplainality
mundanity fails to carry your weight -
But green seemed so innocently subtle to contain those veins
that stick out like a spill against ivory eyelids
sheltering yet more purple, bronze, a bouquet of vessels -- -
oh, god-ridden terracotta of your tips
red just doesn't cut it for me and blue leaves a sticky trail in the tongue when you're just so
unashamedly golden, apricotted, sparks of whatever next that i find in your eyes
colours i couldn't mix
no matter how hard i tried.

I could fall in love with you

I could fall in love
with the way you kiss me--
like I'm a drink you can't taste fast enough
and always leaves you wanting more

I could fall in love
with the way you call me--
like you just heard the best joke
that you cannot wait to share

I could fall in love
with the way you leave me--
like a mother scolding her child
you will hit me with a hard goodbye
that stings upon contact
and is healed by your constant presence
from that moment on

I could fall in love with you
but I will not
in fear that the kisses and the calls will stop
and you will leave me for good

I could fall in love with you

thank you kyler, you were my first
right in the back seat of your car
first in front of my house at two am
and then later in a grocery store parking lot a few blocks down
with foggy windows and clothes that took a while to find again
I only told you I loved you when you ****** inside of me
with new car smell and broken condoms.
You pinned me up against your car
in the parking lot of stadium thrift way.
baptized my neck with hickeys after I cried about issues with my dad.
I broke your heart I guess
i'm not that sorry

thank you Donald, I fell for you
sneaking over to your house
or up to my bedroom
or on every couch in my living room
even in a public park
the first time we kissed, we stood in my empty living room. you made fun of me for standing on my toes.
I fed you leftover Thai food as we snuck kisses in the kitchen and then crawled out on the porch.
I sat in your lap. you put your hand between my legs.
you felt more experienced and more apathetic, making me feel small and childish
you thought you had taken my virginity, but you had just taken an old phone charger and a yellow hat
you told me through a text
'I just don't see where this is going'

thank you Cassius, with shocking white hair.
infatuation isn't a word strong enough.
'don't u know vandalism is illegal?' id say.
you hid a smile when you caught my eyes in the back of jacob's show
you'd say 'what can I give u for a cigarette?
a lighter, 50 cents, or a kiss?'
we almost did it in the back of your friends car
with your **** out, your friends came back in and we threw a coat over your lap
sneaking into a construction site, I sat on a dusty shelf and you ****** me
I left my scrunchie on the ground in there, and you pulled out and came on it
I never got it back
you said once 'I'm always sad, and whenever Im happy
I just get more sad'
sneaking into your bathroom
turning the shower on
pushing me up against a wall
I liked the way you held my hands
and wrapped me in your arms.
sneaking my fingers into yours and you responded eagerly.
out of breath, you'd say 'I need a cigarette'

**** this life of mines
My heart hurts
My soul is aching
The disrespect from people is to much
The constant nagging from people is to much
**** my life
I see so much more
It's taking forever to get there
It's taking forever

Six months.
How strange.
It's been forever, and also no time at all.
Could it have been six months ago that you kissed me for the first time?
Could it have been five months ago that I fell in love with you?
Could it have been two months since New Years,
when we stayed up late and kissed at midnight?

****.

I'm not always honest about how I feel
especially when the feeling is intense
I downplay it, it's not a big deal

I don't want to make you uncomfortable
I don't want you to think I'm crazy
I love you