L I M B O
an L for the longing
I for the "I'm not sure if this is where I need to be"
M for the minutes of waiting
B for begging the stars above to let me have you
O ; the single letter that escaped my lips as you turned your back
and walked directly into the next willing participant's embrace

I look at you, I look at her
I run
I run until the air in my lungs evacuate when my bare feet kiss the gravel
I run until I am unable to see you in my head
I pause
I wait
and I continue running, for you are still there in my head
I run
my arms punch the breeze that fights back at me, I punch as if it were the environment around me that took you away from me
I run until night divides the day
and drapes me in velvet black
My hands on my head, I spin around, pulling out my hair like a mad man
out of breath, but knowing it's not from the running but instead from the absence of you in my heart
I crash to the ground
I keep my eyes shut as long as I can, but whenever i'm met with the darkness surrounding my thoughts
I see you, my soft light
I keep my eyes shut until your image forces me to open them
and look up at the empty night sky
and all I ponder on
is why the stars have abandoned us.

i've seen you cry
felt your pain
i've dried your eyes

i've seen your worst
felt your anger
i've helped your hurt

i've seen your best
felt your smile
i've forgotten the rest

i've seen your heart
felt your pulse
i've touched every part

i've seen your love
felt your love
i've fallen in love

Unfamiliar to the feeling
not entirely sure what's wrong,
but knowing that there's something missing
from my once wholesome life
and it's like i'm finally discovering myself
a period of rebirth
but now the clock has warned me that it is 12 in the morning
I am reminded of how you are out there
and how I don't know you
but how I desperately want to
and why I am a writer and all I do is constantly write or think about what I want to write about next but all of a sudden it's midnight and I can't find a way to string the extensive words of our English vocabulary together to somehow
SOMEHOW
expound upon why the simple touch of a stranger has left me feeling so empty, but how at the moment when I reached my fingertips just far enough that they could brush against your side,
I felt wholesome again
I don't know what makes humans yearn for another human to complete them and how we feel lonesome when in the company of the bitter silence that meets us at the end of a partnership
Or why I have a million and one things I could write about
instead of focusing again
on the loss of someone I never got the chance to know
and yet I choose to torture myself with seeing you in dreams
smiling at a girl
that is not me

FINALLY
I've made it
As I throw my fist in the air
And show the world my widest smile
I rejoice with everything in me
For I, have finally made it
I let out the deep sigh
That I've been holding in
Since I crossed the starting line
I stand still, I stand firm
And I stand tall
For I, Joshua Humphries,
have finally made it
No more looking back
The point of destination has been reached
Didn't think I would make it
People threw knives
And words that cut me deep
But I went past the forks in the road
And with my head held high I went straight
For I, Josh Humphries
The one that even doubted himself,
Has finally made it
I traveled far,
And FINALLY,
After all the beams of sweat fell from my forehead,
And continued down to my eyes
I admit At first,
I couldn't tell if they were showers of sweat
or tears
BUT WHATEVER THEY WERE,
I pulled them away from my blinded eyes
And after rowing down my own streams
For I,
Have found love
For I am content,
I need no more than what I have
All I need now is you to be in your presence
The one that fills my cup,
And seems to always overflow
It's the one that always gives
And gives more than I need
It's the one that looks at a shattered boy,
And has the time to piece me,
Back together, but better
The one that greets me in the morning
The one that makes me stand taller
The one that makes me run farther
Streams, nor serpents, nor words
Can stop this,
I used to be infatuated with
The clothes,
But because of you,
The things that fuel and motivate me
Are seeing you, making goals,
And having dreams to focus on
I pray that someday in the future
My best friend will never become my enemy
I give you all of me,
Because it's all I can offer
As I'm here reciting this to you
I might be stumbling on my words,
****, I do stumble on my words a lotIt only happens when I speak from the heart,
Just know that you're one of the best things
To happen to me in my young life
So as I give the world my widest smile
And throw my fist in the air,
I give you the other one
And rejoice,
As I can finally say,
I made it,
I found, love

Our love reminds me of fireworks.
We were so pretty and bright,
but we ended in the blink of an eye.
And before i could take a picture,
you went away.