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Mina 3d
I have a close friend named fear
He lives and whispers in my ear

He wakes me up, he keeps me trying...
He keeps me living, prevents me from dying

He makes me work, He let me strive
He keeps the guilt in my heart alive

He's like a bond
He makes me bold
Even in my dreams
I'm getting bombed

He makes me scared
He makes me hate
He's the reason today i ate

My friend fear is always near
He tells me run to the bathroom
when i drink to much beer

He makes me fear what i can't see
He gets me anxious, he makes me wanna ***..
i wanna *** but I'm too tired to get out of bed
You will spill your guts
They will lick every drop of blood
While you tried to save them
You killed yourself
While you tried to be there for them
You abandoned yourself (who you are)
in the name of “Love”;
(conditional, sacrificial, transactional love)
Because you grew up seeing the danger
of fighting back for your life
You chose silence because
it kept you small,
it kept you safe.
You grew up watching mom tolerate pain
Mistreatment and disrespect
and you thought that was love
That it had to hurt,
not heal
That it was tough,
not soft
That it had to be painful
To be something endured
Otherwise it wouldn’t carry meaning
Because someone that brings stillness,
Stability and peace feels like “boredom”
If you weren’t intoxicated by the highs and lows
You feel nothing
Thinking that feeling something is better
You associate calmness with numbness
But it's only your body and nervous system
Coming out of survival-mode
You run towards the very thing
You should stay away from
Because it feels familiar
The inconsistencies, neglect,
Emotional unavailability,
Gaslighting, manipulation,
Love-bombing, affection withholding,
Silent treatment, blame shifting,
The ups and downs..
It was programmed in your little brain
That to earn love you had to suffer
Until one day you wake up
and realize that is not love
That is survival,
That is not love,
That is attachment,
That is not love,
That is trauma bond.
and now you have to rewire,
Reprogram your mind
As if you were a newborn
and what if i told you
That what you went through
Was the only way
That you would learn
What real, genuine, safe love
Looks like
or everything that it isn’t.
But healing doesn’t come with a manual
Nobody tells you how long it takes
nor the steps to get there
They only say:
“Healing isn’t linear”
That it could take months or years
But right now all that matters is that
You broke that vicious cycle
and you no longer hold on to old beliefs
You’re no longer trapped in the illusion of it all.
"In Dr. Orloffs book, The Empaths Survival Guide talks about the 7 types of energy vampires to be aware of if you’re an empath.
1. The Narcissist
2. The Rageaholic
3. The Victim
4. The Drama Queen or King
5. Controlling Critics
6. The Non-stop Talker
7. Passive Aggressive People
Energy vampires are attracted to the openness and loving hearts of empaths and this can leave us emotionally, mentally, and physically depleted. Take care of yourself and place boundaries when needed.

1. The narcissist
- acts as if the world revolves around them
- inflated sense of importance and entitlement
- need to be center of attention
- requires endless praise
- must compliment them to get their approval
- they use their intuition to manipulate and achieve their goals
- little to no capacity, for unconditional love
- if you disagree with them they become ice cold and withhold love, or will give silent treatments

2. The Rageaholic
- deals with conflict by accusing, attacking, and controlling
- will yell to make a point (empaths cant tolerate yelling)
- they behave poorly around loved ones
- Rageaholics traumatize empaths by beating down their positivity and self worth.

3. The victim
- energy vampires with a victim mentality drain empaths with their “the world is against me” attitude
- they don’t take responsibility for the problems that happened in their life
- other people are always the cause of their distress
- empaths fall into the compassionate caretaker role trying to solve all of the victims problems."

4. The drama queen or king
- overloading with nonstop dramas
- these dramas impose too much information and simulation for empaths to process
- drama is a drug they become addicted to
- they don’t get rewarded when we don’t react to their dramas.

5. Controlling Critics
- offer unsolicited opinions
- nitpick about the things you’re doing wrong
-ongoing nit picking can drain an empath.

6. The non stop talker
- endless verbal assault
- trap you to recount their life stories without pausing for a breath
- moves in on personal space while talking
*nonstop talkers don’t respond to your nonverbal cues. Simply looking impatient or restless doesn’t work. You must interrupt them as hard as this may be to do.

7. Passive aggressive people
- express their anger with a smile
- they sugar coat hostility
make excuses for why they can’t fulfill a commitment
- known for making sarcastic comments saying “can’t you take a joke?”
- they sulk when they don’t get what they want but claim nothing is wrong *these are confusing messages for empaths who are much more direct*
"
-by Whitney Mangrum.
owls at dawn Feb 7
when you tell them incontrovertibly
for the hundredth time
you're never coming back

be prepared

it still hurts when they pull away

but after each time you say it
the next breath
is fuller than the last
your wings
wider than moments before
and the vast distant horizon
more brightly painted than you've ever seen
Zywa Feb 6
Calmly connected,

sharing experiences --


every now and then.
For Maria Godschalk

Collection "More"
John bush Jan 22
This may seem possessive but you’re mine, I want, need, and value you, not just body, but mind as well, you are fundamental.

When I’m not there, I want a moment in time when you sort through the memories of me and use your imagination to create the infinite possibilities of how I reinforce every beautiful thing about you and be sentimental.

No one is perfect, we all have our losses, and we all fall. When uncertain, I can only hope you know how much I believe in you, to the point where I give you that look, you smile.

I want to be a catalyst for your self-discovery. Give me your body and mind, rest assured this will be secured with my life, confide. I want to experience you liberated and lost inside, let your spirit run wild.

I’m the mystery that discovered and played with every aspect of you for your benefit. It’s a sense of its own, best described as living in suspense.

Just know, that this bond is beyond imagination and reality, it’s inconceivable, and it’ll never make sense.
The path of life I once beheld,
Until I agreed to be born into this world,
I knew the reason without a doubt—
You, destined to be my mother.

In a world of right and wrong, painted gray,
Your color shines as white to me
In another life with or without choice,
I choose you.
Kanishk Baghel Dec 2024
In pedagogy's realm, where lessons unfold,
I met her strict gaze, her demeanor austere,
A teacher whose presence both warm and cold,
Her voice a blend of command and cheer.

In Semester Two, my steps hesitant, slow,
Her firm stance loomed like an iron wall,
Yet the seeds of respect began to grow,
When Semester Three softened her call.

Room 49 FOE became my portal to awe,
Her smile disarmed yet discipline reigned,
“Kanishk, come in,” her words without flaw,
Though her sternness at times left me restrained.

Her walk commands the road she strides,
Confidence fused with urgency's flare,
At times in specs, a doctor she hides,
With wisdom glowing beyond compare.

Her knowledge vast, like a boundless sea,
Economics and tech she wove with art,
A motherly guide who cared endlessly,
With wisdom and strength in equal part.

Her life a balance of work and kin,
Two little children and duties immense,
Her strides spoke of purpose deep within,
A journey of hiatus, grace, and sense.

For every doubt, she’s always there,
Even at midnight, her patience intact,
Her soft-spoken words, her thoughtful care,
A bond of guidance and trust compact.

Though scolded once for childish play,
Her affection remains, steady and strong,
I’ll ask about Pahal Horizon without delay,
And hope our bond endures lifelong.
                                                                By: - KANISHK
Ejiro Dec 2024
It’s been so long y’know
since I saw your face up close
to be honest I think I’m starting to forget what you look like day after day
but I’m still going to keep the good part of you inside me
In the beginning of our bond
you knew that you were a bad person and I only ended up realizing that little by little overtime
I tried my hardest to help you become a better person
and now you’re gone
not from this world
but from my world
you left me in a trance filled with questions of why I was never enough for you to change
My mind has become so numb now
my heart is still aching for answers
to a person who wants nothing to do with me anymore
so with a heavy heart
and a numb mind
I came to a conclusion that you don’t miss me
but I do miss you
Nostalgia Nov 2024
I trusted you.
A bond that is supposed to last until my adulthood.
And you took it from me.
I used to think it was normal.
But now I hate you.
I hate your presence, your touch, your speech.
I don’t understand if you are lying to me again.
Blackmailing me.
So I won’t let you bring me back down again.
I will fight. Until this life is no longer mine to keep.
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