I long for the times
When we were kept afloat
By rushing jokes and waves of laughter,
But fractures appeared in strained conversations
And our unspoken words.
Now we cling to the wreckage of our once beautiful friendship
Desperately trying to stay adrift,
But I fear the water flooded my lungs years ago.

Blue is not sure where to find the propeller.
The motor boat sent to scotch the shimmer. The waves
break inside a jar, and the little pieces are swept up by the wind and made into mist.

The Jar is shaken, the titanic sinks,
and the seagulls peck at our eyes.
Covered in barnacles, the new-found fish men
wander onto the sand and get coated,
as in cornmeal,
ready to fry.

Infatuated and floundering
they wander
to water again.
Drinking death hand over fist,
they ring themselves out with simply a twist.
The fish flap their fins so forcefully;
trying to
be flying to
a sea called the sky.

With a crumbled-ed crust they say, “motherboat or bust”,
but the navigation of aviation is a compilation of great frustration
for fishes whose function
is on boats, wrapped up
in those silly greatcoats.
Yet they made it, or so they claim, and with only one flounder or flunder who had made a blunder to blame.

If only old skipper had been a bit quicker, he wouldn't have had such a queer story to claim.

I only have this
Heart of mine.

Absentminded hands
Rip me part by part.

The pieces are the sand
Beneath my feet.

My tears are the waves
Kissing the shore
Putting them back together.

The thunder is rumbling
In the backyard.

The rain is pouring down
On my soul.

I grab the keys
And put this car in drive
To the water.

I set sail across the ocean.
Tearing these rough seas
On my own.

A sailor.
A compass.
A steerin wheel.

Destenation: home.

I once set sail to a shipwreck and no one’s heard back from me yet.

Whether or not this storm can be weathered, my torn sails and bruised masts will be seen fighting the futile.
And whether or not I can come back from this, I won’t dock at familiar shores for a while.

This salty shame-filled seawater may as well be the blood that flows so reluctantly through my veins because inside it all feels the same and at least then I could give the ocean some of this blame.

I’m still made of rotten wood and rusted nails,
I just got better at sinking.

But I’m tired of throwing buckets of salt water over my head hoping I don’t slip,
So maybe I’ll take a break from going down with the ship.

So maybe I can take note from the tide and change.
Because I'm so ******* tired of trying to figure out how I wound up on this page.

Blame it on bad luck, blame it on love, blame it on god,  blame it on the price of a new heart, blame it on a bad start, blame it on the ******* weather,
But even as the water rises, I can still hear the echoing lament of a would-be sailor,
“I swear I can be better.”

Floating on a grand barge,
Watch the man that’s in charge,
Pride and power in his voice.
The hammock gently swings,
Swaying in the wind,
Was this your final choice?

The animals are creating noise,
Barge-hands who look like boys,
The current’s getting stronger.
Flies settle on your damp chest,
Is this some sort of regal test,
Close your eyes a moment,

Just listen to the breeze.

You’re here, it’s here
They are, all here,
No one really cares.
Dream of a storm, can you hear?
There is no need for you to fear
Fingers on the rippling surface,
Drops like tears
You know now that it’s too near,
The diamond sky is just too clear.
Watching the shore fade, hear the cheers

You’re leaving dear.

Being stupidly tired but being scared stupid to fall asleep.
Its so much more than falling.
Its tripping on the drugs that my sobriety has taken away from me.
Watching too many scary movies that give me the edge I think I need.

When I know the edge of the bed is more than enough for me.
My mattress is lost at sea and I'm the dammed captain.

Just let me ******* sleep.

When I went mental my mom called for reinforcement, her brother.
I called uncle but it didn't stop him.

I understand he wanted to help,
I understand he felt connected because both of our father's abandoned ship.

Just because you have four golden children doesn't mean you get to pick me to be your black sheep.
I won't let you fix me.
I'm not on board to sail the 7 seas with you and your perfect family.
You see, I am a ship wreck.

I'm good at not asking for help,

And my mattress is starting to sink.

When the sun fades away, paving night's way
and the moon swoops in, riding a swift chill
as we sit on the sand, held in the moment's sway
i reach across and tuck, a curl gone astray

It seems like yesterday, strangers we were
the tide came and went, but I wouldn't stir
bobbing along the sea, a boat without an oar
drifting along to where, I couldn't say anymore

then you waltzed in, like a cool summer breeze
when i glimpsed you at first, time stood still
my heart that had gone dead, knew life again
a smile and a skip later, my demons were slain

I've never known love to hold magic such
as if I were a violin, strings begging to be touched
and you played a dream, that ripped me apart
kiss me my love, now that you've stolen my heart