The fruit of
the Pacific madrone
tree may at
first entice you
with its fiery
scarlet skin.

But bite
into it and
you’ll taste
astringent, gristly pith—
with hard seeds
like discarded
children’s teeth.

You will know
that foolish feeling
that lurks within
the shadow between
sugary expectations
and bitter truth.

A haggard angel
Stands behind my back.
Is it me or you?
For three decades
She had graced me
With words of love
And fits of anger.
I helped create her
And yet hurt her .
And suddenly, she turns
Away from me,
Still loving me, I think.
But all she wants,
She tells me bitterly,
Is to be alone.
She leaves and I wonder
If she will ever return.
I stand on a garish train,
Thunderstruck, unmoving,
As I watch her storm away.
Suddenly, I feel what she does—
The pain and sadness.
I created her long ago
And know why she is livid.
And now she returns the hurt,
Leaving me as the empty one,
My insides vacuum up sorrow.
Am I now the angel,
Fallen and haggard?

I lost some words
till someone said
go back to where you last saw them

never saw, just heard
in someone’s head
stuck in the throat like stored phlegm

spitting it out
no doubt they shout
louder than I ever did

But they didn’t get rid
of the guck that was hid
swallowing it
deep down

Into the depth of the heart
among buried blart
and that’s where my words
were found

Above all things,
I know bitterness
because I was born
without having been asked.

I want to write,
About my family, friends and relations.
I want to write,
About my thoughts, feelings and imaginations.

I want to write the fragrance,
Of every flower that I smell.
I want to write the sweetness,
Of every fruit that I consume.
I want to write the bitterness,
Of every challenge that I face.
I want to write my experiences,
On every single moment of my life.

I want to write the emotions,
By the pen of my nerves.
I want to paint the nature,
On the canvas of my mind.
I want to capture the beauty,
Through the lens of my eyes.

Every minute, new thoughts knock my brain,
And I hold my pen to carve words.
But I put down my pen again and again,
Because, I'm not getting any inspiration to write!

✨SOMEONE I LOVED...

Dear heartbreaker,

Why are you chasing something that's already gone?
Why are you realizing your mistakes when it's all too late?
Why are you apologizing when I've already made up my mind?
Why are you giving me your time when my clock long stopped?
Why?

Why are you showing your concern, when every mistreatment is packed up and on replay in my mind?
Why are you trying to make things right when I don't care anymore,
Why are you finding it so hard to let go when I've already given up?
Why?

You knew a day like this will come,
You knew one day I'll get fed up and find my way out,
You knew one day I'll untie all the knots and set you free,
You knew one day I'll stop begging for you to stay,
You knew one day I'll stop apologizing for your mistakes,
You knew one day this love you called 'desperate ' will fade and turn out to an illusion.

You were my life,
But the blades of rejection cut deeper than a knife,
You were my breathe,
But that air we used to share, chokes me now,
You gave me reasons to live,
But now, no amount of threats can shake me with a life I no longer care about,
You gave me reasons to smile,
But nothing is genuine now, the smile I give is just a reflection of my pain.
Happiness, joy, were my particulars,
But now, pain is just part of me,
Sad songs, my comfort,
The hole you dug, my home.

Please, just don't follow me,
Don't ask how am doing,
Don't try to stop me from what I'm about to do.
Let the fire that kept our love burning,
Consume every piece of memory to ashes.
You are just a little too early, to say goodbye,
But a little too late, to save a life...

#brokensoul...
#shatteredheart...

©tiana... 💔