The sun will rise,
And we will try again.

childhood was                                                      teenage is
empty schoolbags                                          suitcases full of textbooks
full tummies                                                   empty stomachs
empty heads                                                   overstuffed brains
board games                                                   board exams
hours of tic-tac-toe                                         hours of texting
2 minute fights                                               2 minute friendships
too many questions                                       too many answers
wanting to grow up                                       wanting to go back

Thank you to you
For doing what you could for me.
Thank you for teaching me that love isn’t something fake, that it’s attainable.
That it’s something that can naturally happen and come from nothingness
That one can love and be loved but that there is always a consequence around the corner
Thank you for showing me that I’m capable of being an object of affection not an object of objectification.
I have the ability of being touched and it meaning something with every smooth move and gentle kiss I can be someone’s something and that it’s not an impossibility.
Thank you, for you.
For showing me that all the colors of the rainbow can be seen even on the cloudiest of days in a person.
Not in the gray painted skies after a storm within cascading cumulonimbus clouds
Thank you for leaving me.
Thank you for showing me that I am strong and can come from hell and back
That I can pick myself up off the ground even when my rainbow turns upside down and grayscale against the bright blue sky
Thank you for giving me the chance to rise up from underneath the crust of the earth to blossom into the flower of a person I always knew I could be. Petals perfectly placed facing the sun soaking up her essence and basking in her warmth
Thank you to you.
For showing me that love ******* hurts and that sometimes you have to hit the lowest low in a bottle or **** to feel something and come back from that to be the person you always hoped you could be.
To be the person who can come from nothing.
Thank you for making me an addict.
You were my drug of choice, then I found others to fill that hole in which I wish you were.
Other oddities in things that which you inhale and exhale and find yourself falling in too deep shot after shot and solo cup after solo cup, but even after the night is over I stumble back finding myself... solo.
Thank you for leaving.
And letting me discover all of the things that can happen when the one thing you care about dissipates in midair.
My time with you taught me that I need no one.
That I can pull myself up.
That I am my own shining glittering rainbow on the cloudiest of days and that I don’t need YOU.
That I can blossom from the crust up and find my own happiness and salvation in the things I care about.
And be okay being solo.
Thank you to you.
For doing all these things for me you unknowingly did.

As you pack up your papers
and stow them away.
Your footsteps will lead you to a brighter day
They say

You saddle your horse
who has been waiting for you
On this dusty trail trampled with horseshoe
But you gaze upon the landscape
of a world a-new.
All the while
Trying not to look back
at the world
you once only knew.

And dont too soon stop in your tracks
as juxtaposition you feel
Will cause your collapse.
For the lasso in which you were hogtied,
Still leaves in you cracks.

So without compass you aim your shot
Firing off all the bullets
in you, you've got.
For this cowboy,
has surely gone through a lot
But a lot is subjective,
And a lot might be little.
The thoughts are piercing
And do cause unsettle.

But cowboy,
You're on your own
There's nothing left inside you to find.
So saddle up.
Just ride, cowboy
Ride.

Saw you there in the middle of the night
You thought I couldn’t see you but how could I not
I stared and I wondered if you were alright
And realized maybe, you’re all I’ve got

I took a deep breath and went down the stairs
I opened the door and your eyes looked up to me
It was obvious in my face that I still cared
You took my hand and I saw what I’ve always wanted to see

You told me you loved me
You told me you cared about me
You told me everything you want us to be
And I told you my fears and my ghost
My worries of how this thing could go
You paused and said “ You’ll never be alone.”

the notes you gave us were so carefully written

cooling
gentle
forgiving

you brought power to the quartet
calm inside calamity were you and your fine fine swaying

looser than your own spine you were swaying side to side
heavy
to the point of light
but your expression was still heavy

your expression was cooling
gentle
forgiving

backed up behind everything
but you are here and you are genuine

haphazardly composed; playing

to me
you might as well be everything

On a green leaf
For frogs
Illuminated by the surface under
There she sits on
A part
A piece I looked as a picture
Dazing wondrously and scouring with pairs
My sandals my feet my hands
All my fingers and nails
My ears
My toes of ten
and legs
Knees and my shoulders
The missing piece
or so i thought under
The afterthought
Full of doubters
For the plants grew all tall
None could be any taller
Dazzling danglers
A field under the stars.

Girly willed as am I
Which could not seem possible
Acceptance aches
Belief breaks
Even the words I speak, write or sing,
(Shall I
Hear it...)
over there it only echos
against the busy chatter and travels back home
Clogs *******
Reminding me that a life can be extinguished with mere
disbelief.
Disbelief and ignorance another pair...
Girly willed as I am
Nodding behind books
Fiction, fiction, fiction
They neigh
So here I go...
Thankful prayer as it did happen to us..
And all of it did
That it was I who did it.

Fuels of her pair
by flying passion and wild innocence
Now...
A human being
Limitless like the others
Why don't they not see? The rest, the stops,
The same scene, there is exactly the same scene...of falls.
If they just went out and did it, for a stretch and a walk,
Just grow out of leaves, be the branches printed of feathery crease
Because I am girly willed
Golden meadows lost to become treasure.
Fearless of rags she is as I am,
Laying afloat of the clouds, linen skies, seas and drifting through the weightless sand
Fearless forever.