​a free drink
and a cold hand
was all it took
for a new beginning

mind, drifting
soul, wandering
heart, freezing
the whole being, questioning

when will one
ever find its way
towards a sense of familiarity,
a certain kind of bliss?

moments, fleeting
memories, passing
once the time comes,
will you be able to move along?

mind slowly wanders
to questions remained unanswered.
hanging by a thread,
losing grip of reality.

the presence
of one’s absence
can it ever be felt
by a departing being?

but one always wonders,
of what comes next
to the uncertain tomorrow
of one’s inevitable end.

you never had me,
or rather,
i never had you.
but i was always yours.
since the beginning,
since the day you talked
to me at the seminar room.
i remember how you looked -
your eyes and the way you spoke -
even in that dimly-lit room
i saw you clearly.
i see you clearly.

Dizzying fall
The ending claims all
Hitting rock bottom when there's nothing solid left
Fending off the end with each passing breath
Lungs on the grind, buying me time
Onward, headfirst
Through layers of earth
Til my soul is bending
Ears ringing with a thousand rending
Tales of farewell etching out
This cavity of self doubt

What the truth is I can't say
And most likely never will

The noise, it fades
****** sprites screaming out my name
Eventually all lose themselves in the torrent
Of endlessness
Of abyss and persistance
Of nonexistence

No longer resist

Thoughts respondent of a scream
Repressing turbulent dreams
Still crawling along my back
Feelings crouched out of sight
Negativity, prone to attack

Deceased
Or not
The truth
Is that
I still
Have friends
Or not
I guess

In life it's nearly always just a matter of time
Ricocheting through the valley of fatal decline
Wishing after thoughtless grandeur, wishing for more wishes
Ephemeral, it all
Falling to the ending