I'm ready for war
I'm ready for war
Let's start the campaign
Send me out on my tour

A challenge to those
up ahead and before
Struck me hard in the face
Knocked me down on the floor
A pathetic disgrace
Left me ****** and sore
Want so bad: I can taste
Change what happened before

I'm not knocking this time
Gonna kick down that door
You'll get yours; I'll get mine
Trust me, this much is sure
Can't explain or define
A disease without cure
Sweet revenge comes to mind
Want to open that door

But inside I will find
Same mistakes as before
Time to leave that behind
I can be so much more
Won't succumb; Not this time
Like a lion I roar
Life has costs; Paid the fine
I've been given the tour

One directive - 'be kind'
Having this, never poor
'Cause my pockets are lined
Can not buy at the store
Pierces through window blinds
Bubbles up from the floor
Search not needed to find
Fills me up in my core

All the planets aligned
A lost ship finding shore
Couldn't see 'cause it's blind
Spent my life looking for
Granted gift when it's time
A full rainbow is poured
Open heart; Open mind
To the heavens I soar

sometimes I wish I had cancer
then people would send me flowers, and get well soon cards.
but I am bipolar
so when I am sick
I suffer alone, ashamed
because too many times
people synonymously use my illness for crazy.

-please stop

I am appreciating this process, and awareness

a feeling without definition

a knowing that cant be expressed

As these words collide
Thoughts inside my mind
My head nearly divides
There is no self to find

Only marvelous music and mystery
Carnivals, cruises, and Krispy Kreme
A light I cannot see
A sound that cannot be
Crashing creativity

Thoughts spring into spirals
Drifting, translucent antivirals
Late arrivals to the scene
Unrivaled and pristine
Some vile and obscene
All the while, I’m serene

Words fly by me and filter slyly
Winding and wily, slurring and smiley
They drunkenly wander to the foreground
I suddenly wonder why I said them aloud

The longer you walk in the dark
The easier it becomes to see
The monsters for what they are

But don't stay too long, confusing
bad company for friends.

we love our parents
but we must not be our parents
we honor our parents
by having our own identity
better to be the apple
that falls far from the tree
better to live your life
your way

Believe that there is something bigger than you
And if you cannot fathom that thought
sight
Think of a redwood tree,try to hold it
And realize you cannot


Let its massive
Unholdableness
Seed its likeness in you

you don't look sick
you don't look like your entire world has been
falling apart for years
and you're only holding on by a thread.
you don't look like you cry yourself to
sleep every Sunday at 4 pm
when no one else is home.
you don't look like you've been
ignored by your friends and family
because they can't deal with someone
else's feelings and problems right now.
you don't look like you've
been in bed for four days straight,
haven't showered or brushed your teeth because
what would be the point when you have
no inclination to even leave your house.
you don't look sick.
that's the sickest thing you can say.
because i don't have a physical handicap
that society has associated with all sick people.
because you don't see the days when i just stare
at a blank wall because there is nothing
nothing and no one that interests me.

and don't get me wrong.
i love you all.
i just have no support from you
because you don't see my illness and
you can't be bothered.
it's fine.
so i hide it further
until i can't anymore
and i find help and support
because i don't want to do it alone