I apologize
Baby I’ve been trying, nothing seems to cover up the pain
I’ve been trying, holding on, holding on
Baby I’ve been trying, nothing seems to cover up the pain
I’ve been trying, holding on, holding on
Holding on to your pain forever
I'm just holding on, holding on to your pain

I been holding on to this pain for such a long time, trying to outfight my demons put it to rest, had to get it off my chest ease this dreaded stress, first let me start off by stating I take full responsibility this is an apology, I know sorry can't fix everything but maybe it'll soothe your pain

Sitting here sniffing the pleasant stench of your favorite sweater, reminding me it makes no sense of how I treated you, your love was innocent so raw it's pure, I made you ashamed you got taken for granted caused you so much pain a strain on your heart, it's all my fault failed my part couldn't protect your heart it turned dark, decayed your love it's nonexistent for a new lover you spite men you hate me, sinister you plot vengeance a demon I created leaving you frustrated caused you to miscarriage you want me castrated cause of dying breed, you forgot how to love tormenting your heart to cover up the pain a demon I created attempted sucide your soul can't take it, Seems you survived respawned just to destroy to me trama that I created

I apologize for your pain these words are not confessed in vain, repeated karma my father did the same thing to mama warfare of generational curse trying to break the shackles can't drag this heavy chain no more my strength deteriorating,  emotional abuse I cause in the past is my irresonspility of love I rebuke it painful mistakes I made I apologize I am ashamed in due time I hope this poem ease your pain love is a learned lesson but still can't fix pain

I want you to forgive me for yourself
not for me, can't keep holding on
I want you to love again no suffering

I apologize
Baby I’ve been trying, nothing seems to cover up the pain
I’ve been trying, holding on, holding on
Baby I’ve been trying, nothing seems to cover up the pain
I’ve been trying, holding on, holding on
Holding on to your pain forever
I'm just holding on, holding on to your pain

How could I have been so close
Yet so far away
The gap in the distance is more intense than I'd actually like to say
It feels like almost yesterday, where the smiles or frowns that came around
Never settling in the crest we call a "face"
It wasn't as fake as it was now
The warmth of your smile turned the mood around
Even if it was disappointing I couldn't help but try a bit harder for the sake of being friends
Cause that's what they do, staying true,
yes true
Not saying I've caught them in a lie
It just feels a little blue, on the other side
I wish I could hold your hand, just to adore
This, space that we once had
It's not the same years later and I know things have changed
Again this isn't a plead for help
Just my old thoughts into an expression
Takes it like the old way of written out confessions
If I had to be convicted Id be in for a long sentence
Like the, I broke a promise and left without saying a word,
Sad how we make it seem like it was the another's fault that we're this way...
Though in the end, it was selfish actions... selfish actions...selfish actions...and self-indulgence
That pushed the gap and broke the space apart
Id like to say sorry as a start in the right way
Though I don't think that would mend the nasty tear that's been every slowly gashing
We've been on the rocks thrashing about in a glass cup smashing with fruit juice and *****
I remember the sweet cheers of that kiss and the hard rocks on the bed
I understand it, I do
I lived in the misery of your happiness that shined through
I wanted to use your opening and vent without considering what your feelings meant
That this was a special event, and I wasn't just getting experience but giving it too
Where sweet words never left the heart
Where promises were meant to last
I formally apologize,
I can't take it away for what has happened
But I'll keep moving forward regardless of forgiveness
I don't expect to walk back into a life that I created so many problems for
And I understand completely if these words cannot pierce through like a sword
It's no point that way

I don't want to apologize,
but I am sorry.
I understand I can be a bit dramatic sometimes,
and over think every situation.
However, I just wish I could understand how you feel about me.
Maybe I wouldn't hold on to every little thing
if you just gave me a sign that is clear for me to read.
I've never been able to enjoy the company of another,
so I'm not sure how this is suppose to play out.
Don't leave me in the morning
feeling used and forgotten.
However, I find myself waiting by the phone as the evening passes
wondering if I should keep trying.
I'm holding on but I know I deserve something more.
It's been 9 months and it's been hundreds of miles.
Sorry if this sounds selfish,
but I can't wait forever and hold onto nothing
when I know I deserve something more.
I love your company
and in my head, we are happy
because I know you feel the same.
I don't want to sound dramatic,
but just please don't leave me in this haze.

Someone asked me who I loved today.
And it got me thinking,
a name didn’t pop in my head,
Or I should say your name.
Your name didn’t drown my thoughts like it always did.
What you did to me didn’t start playing in my head like a silent film.
Your laugh and screams didn’t clash in my ears.
Your smile and snarl didn’t cloud my eyes.
Your fists and lips didn’t touch my body.
And wow.
Not feeling you felt really ******* good.
Not having my senses filled with you.
Felt amazing.
Not feeling your fists on my body even after you left,
Feels like gold.
Your hand grabbing my head to look at you so you can apologize doesn’t make me shudder.
I’m fine. And for the first time.
I think I mean it