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jinx Oct 2018
i always have cold feet
because i don’t eat
homeostasis
called me up on the phone
but i didn’t have the time
living life in the fast lane
desperately grasping at rhymes
i know why i’m always cold though
my friends and i race through the snow
in nothing but bikinis and speedos
i want to run away from you
because i don’t know how to speak
when i’m staring at your face
you touch your hand to my waist
i take vitamins to keep my hair from falling out
but i can track my symptoms in other ways
blacking out for days
dull eyes
yellow teeth
paranoia
and cold feet
Jillian Jesser Oct 2018
you were young once
bright eyed
you put the raspberries on each finger and then ate them off
one by one
then, older
you took a bus home from school
kept to yourself
playing 80’s and 90’s hits you would later work out with
as “Shout” Turned to “Oblivion”
you would fall to the floor
and pant
get up
walk to the kitchen
look for something, anything
One
Small
Raspberry
Belle Oct 2018
i've been stuck and wordless for so long.
there are no words to explain how i feel.
how do i tell you i missed class today due to depression keeping me in bed?
how do i say that i keep trying so hard but it's just never enough?
how do i try to do something that is supposed to make me happy but i end up getting no pleasure from it?
how do i live like this?
like im constantly drowning
like there's "no cure"
like i am a failure and whatever higher powers are up there sure like to make sure i know that
like im unforgivable
like i throw my heart into something only to get each artery ripped out one by one
like i cannot be real.
things havent been okay for a long time.
i fake it.
i tell people im doing much better
because i look okay.
i act okay.
so why should it matter?
how can i tell you im broken hearted?
like i am trying my best but it just doesnt work
it wont ever work.
julianna Oct 2018
And it was
iN that split  
secOnd that i was
Rather weak.
Eating no longer  
seemed an eXit, but instead
as If it was so, so,
Aimless to do.
mars Oct 2018
I don't

2. Think I will

3. Ever stop

4. Counting

5. But I can

6. Learn to live

7. Around the numbers
Emerson Nosreme Sep 2018
She wanted to be famous now
Since she was very pretty
Her hair was long and curly
She was the best singer in the talent show
And she did her make up well
And made it straight through hell

But when she became well known
Hollywood's true colours were shown
And soon she became thinner
As she was seen as a sinner
Soon she found hanging from a bit of rope
And left on her bed was a note...

'Note to self.
1: don't be famous
2: you're ugly'
Aaryn Sep 2018
100
don't worry I'm fine
But I lie all the time
but I'm fine
trust me this time
I'm in control

100
that's enough
that's all you get
don't be a *****
You're fat

you're a pig
5 bites for breakfast
Nothing for lunch
3 bites of dinner
then go for a run
ha you thought you were done?

We're only getting started
crunches
sit ups
leg lifts
wall sits
you're a ****** up human
look at all this lose skin

those fat thighs
and these white lies
of saying that you're fine
when all of your thoughts
are consumed by this routine
gotta eat clean
only protein

got a b+?
well guess what?
You'll cut yourself
with that blade on the shelf

but the pounds are dropping
what did I say?
but all this jogging
and constant fasting
is not gonna last you
you've gotta eat less
and run more
listen to me
stupid *****
you wanna be pretty?
lucky for you
I don't feel pity

You must be empty
I've told you this
Yet you still insist
On eating this
stupid ****
you don't need that

stop lying
You're not hungry
can you ever be trusted
this isn't funny

Empty
You must stay empty
Based of of my experiences with eating disorders and from what others have told me
julianna Sep 2018
Pain
And suffering
And evaporated tears
And razor blades
And laxative teas
And skinny jeans
And diet pills
And angry words
And impulsive decisions
And lies
And bleeding lines
And swollen wrists
And puffy eyes
And long sleeves
And stay-in-bed-all-day days
And avoid-the-crowd-for-days days
And won’t-mind-getting-hit-by-a-car days
And bitten tongues
And sad songs
And bleach shots
And fake Instagram posts
And living through YouTube videos
And fasting
And failing
And then no longer caring
And feeling like it’s all over
And then doing it all over,
All / Over /Again
Trigger warning... This poem is to anyone who has ever been through or is going through any of these things. I know your pain. Although I’ve made a major recovery (anxiety/anorexia/derealization/ depersonalization/panic disorder) and am always getting better, sometimes certain things haunt me. My PM box is always open to those in need of a listening ear or a friend.
Stay strong **
nabi 나비 Sep 2018
sometimes it feels as if it would be easier to quit fighting
to just let her do as she pleases
to just let her tell me that this way is easier
to let her force my body to scream and ignore it under her command
sometimes it feels like it would be easier to whither away
to quit forcing food into me
to just stop fighting her
but i know i will never let her defeat me
throughout all of the difficulty that she has brought into my life
i'm never going to let her take away the good again
she can have her small victories from the past
but i'm not going to give her my future
this fight will last till the end of my days but i'm never going to give up
regardless of how difficult this may be
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