here i am
so fricking irritated
i cant get on
and i just want to play
so mojang LET ME ON
let me get on some server
or create my own world
i just want to build stuff
thank you
also if you have minecraft
and no longer play
please give me your account
thank you again
this is my rant for today
i know it isnt a poem

Look
It’s  not that
I don’t appreciate
The words “are you ok?”
Because I know you are concerned
But first
Take a look at me
And ask yourself
“Do they look ok?”

sometimes when i get sad
i sit on my bed and stare at the wall
i count every impression and dip i see in front of me
until i lose myself in how monotonous the task is
i stop thinking and analyzing and evaluating

then, when the sun has set
and my room is drenched in the dark blanket of the night
my mind returns from its absence
from whatever vacation it took
and everything sets back into normal motion

but somehow, im always missing a small piece of myself
on the trip back every time
i lose myself a little more

Your brother came onto me
I'm sorry I hurt his feelings
But not really
He took me to the party
But he didn't want to dance
I tried to talk
He didn't respond
I think that he deserved anything he got
Especially after he called my friend
"*****"
I'm not sorry
It hurt him but it hurt me too
From this I know I'm on yours
Your Blacklist
You care about him
Then let him fight his own battles
You're the younger sibling
You aren't supposed to fight his for him
So now I'll deal with you both
You can send the hounds after me
I don't care
But once you attack my friends
That's another story
I will fight
Tooth and Nail
Blacklisted

this is getting too toxic
in my hopes of getting the likes, the reactions, the followers i want from people
this isn’t healthy
for everyday checking my social media to check my inboxes just to see I received nothing from the person i wish would message me
this is not by the influence of our society
it is simply just me
with the idea that being famous
that by being loved by everyone
is the key
to get out of being lonely

I'm sick and tired of every liar that crosses my path
Give me a break
And for your own sake take a wooden stake and drive it through your blood thirsty vampire heart
I know you like to see me bleed with each crooked deed I do for you and I fear that I’ll fall into your trap but I’m already wrapped up in those arms
The arms that I once called home
The arms that kept me safe in every place I went
The arms that bent my stick straight spine into a frayed piece of manipulated twine
Which time after time has formed my mind into a cynical beast that can do nothing but feast on the negatives it hears
While also being all ears to the positives that appear
I see the good in everyone except me yet how can it be that I shouldn't get that drink for free
I think so low of myself and my health suffers from it but I get offended when I'm rejected and another pretty doll faced girl is selected over me
You smile when I fall and crawl to your feet like a little puppy after being beat
I scamper and whine for a savior or something divine to intervene and help me find the green light out of here
But it’s dark with no color in sight despite the flicker of my imagination
I go back to fear because that’s all I know now and there are few emotions I can show so how will this work if you constantly irk the angry part of my lying brain
I'm going around round round insane
I'm literally going insane and it's vain for anyone to think they can tell me how to feel or how to heal because if you're not living this battle you have no say so on any given day I have a right to be sad and a right to be mad and if that makes you upset then my best bet would be that you should flee because I'm going to keep being me
I can't live my current life and I don't see any positive end in sight but I'm hanging on tight for you and those who care and even those who just sit blankly and stare
I see you
And you see me
But neither of us say a thing until we've passed
Then the whispers begin and yeah envy is a sin, but I wish I was like you
Normal and happy not constantly sappy waiting for another day to go by so I can pop my pill and get my mental fill for a few seconds before being empty
I'm numb when I'm on drugs and it's hard for me to find pleasure in even the lovely lightening bugs
I used to smile and chase them with bare hands and feet
Now I sit idle and my eyes follow them, glazed over in defeat
I feel like the thoughts seep from my brain and although it sounds lame I often find myself repeating, "What was I going to say?"
I forget how to hang onto a thought or a phrase and I can't even raise an insightful question anymore
I'm only part of me and who I used to be but it's better than constantly being angry
I take this medicine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Hoping one day it'll make me thinner yet I know deep inside that once again I have lied
To myself and my friends and that regardless in the end
No matter what I say there will be someone I offend
Because I'm rude and ruthless and wholly disrespectful
I'm a mess on two legs and dude to tell you the truth I'm a handful
I can barely handle myself or suppress my mean mental health
Oh well, but it ***** being told that you're kind of a bad person
But it's okay because everyone see's it and acknowledges it, so it must just be the way you are
Less than sub par and far from ideal I struggle with what to say and how to feel so it'd be better if I just stopped talking
Yeah, drop it all and stop talking