My heart felt a fear I could not define,
A feeling Love was drifting away;
I realized this was not a good sign
That greeted me at the dawn of day

Foreboding thoughts that I could not curtail
Were invading this poor head of mine --
Like foul wreckage gathered after a gale --
I knew this could not be a good sign

Panic had now overtaken my heart,
Rational judgment was in decline.
Had the threads of our love been torn apart?
This anguish could not be a good sign

Dark clouds overflowed the heavens above,
Luminous teardrops fell from the sky;
It was then I knew I had lost his love . . .
It's not a good sign when angels cry

Wyrd (2022)

How can I cry over feelings that aren't valid
How can I mourn for something that was never gonna happen...

In this lifetime I've seen poets and fakes
In this lifetime I've seen sinners and saints
But tell me why we keep chasing these dreams
To be run over in the end?

The Universe you gave me the rites to what I needed
The Universe you took the way from me to get what I wanted...

I've always felt like I wasn't deserving of what I wanted to become...
You proved the fates right when you did what you did...

It was such a betrayal of my soul
It was such a betrayal of my heart

Ill never be able to forgive this audacity
I'll never be able to forget this travisity..

It wasn't enough you kept her from me
Now you take the only thing I ever wanted to be..

The Universe is give and take and I'll never forget or forgive...

please stay
wrapped in my mind like I knot I cannot untangle

please stay
soft and sweet, running your fingertips down my naked back, making the sounds of the waves with your lips

please stay
close enough, always just within reach for me to fall on when my legs get weak

please stay
connected in my life, through the coincidences and mishaps somehow leading me back to you

please stay

please

stay

don’t

leave

me

please

please.

she is lost but she does not crave to be found.
her world went quiet but she accepted it cause in some sick and destructive way it brought her peace and she felt safe in her own madness.
And although her days are full of tears and anguish... she cant picture herself ever getting out of this labyrinth of suffering she trapped herself in.
this is her silent punishment.

I need you to walk away,
to forget about me, be happy.
I'll live with this pain each day
but I won't let it ever break me.
My love is my own mistake.
Don't be sad for me, please, forget me.
"Go back to him, now!" I ache...
"I'm in anguish, with you!" Be happy...
I need you to walk away.
I need you...

I'm not who I was
never have I been who I am
My love and admiration twist
I have no confidence
because I am cognitively dissonant
raised with values too extreme for humanity
not able to shake free of them
I've done terrible things, too few I regret
and even those still echo desire in the depths of me
but I'm not going to allow myself to wake in this darkness
not going to be complacent
pain follows change, but so too does joy
I'm not yet free, not yet me
I don't know if I can break free
but I do know
I'm not done yet