please stay
wrapped in my mind like I knot I cannot untangle

please stay
soft and sweet, running your fingertips down my naked back, making the sounds of the waves with your lips

please stay
close enough, always just within reach for me to fall on when my legs get weak

please stay
connected in my life, through the coincidences and mishaps somehow leading me back to you

please stay

please

stay

don’t

leave

me

please

please.

she is lost but she does not crave to be found.
her world went quiet but she accepted it cause in some sick and destructive way it brought her peace and she felt safe in her own madness.
And although her days are full of tears and anguish... she cant picture herself ever getting out of this labyrinth of suffering she trapped herself in.
this is her silent punishment.

I need you to walk away,
to forget about me, be happy.
I'll live with this pain each day
but I won't let it ever break me.
My love is my own mistake.
Don't be sad for me, please, forget me.
"Go back to him, now!" I ache...
"I'm in anguish, with you!" Be happy...
I need you to walk away.
I need you...

I'm not who I was
never have I been who I am
My love and admiration twist
I have no confidence
because I am cognitively dissonant
raised with values too extreme for humanity
not able to shake free of them
I've done terrible things, too few I regret
and even those still echo desire in the depths of me
but I'm not going to allow myself to wake in this darkness
not going to be complacent
pain follows change, but so too does joy
I'm not yet free, not yet me
I don't know if I can break free
but I do know
I'm not done yet

Evening jokes and candle dinners,
Potted flowers hammock hours.

I miss walks along the beach,
Holding hands and making plans.

I even miss arguments and hurt feelings,
Working things out, and relearning what love is all about.

I don’t miss you. This is true.
For you were wicked and cruel.

I don’t miss ***, or getting your text,
As each word manipulation, each night of passion a hoax.

I would rather like to live again,
And make plans and joke and spoil and spend,
I would rather cuddle and my life to end,

To never need love again,
Because I would rather live laugh live beside you,
My friend.

When the heart is in anguish
so few people matter.

We are all consumed by flames
which can only be quelled
by the delicate touch
of another.
But it only matters who
not how.
As long as they try,
we can come up with an infinite amount
of justifications
to excuse ourselves of our sadness.

But think of those who try
and do not a thing for our sorrow.
They are the ones who write poems
about anguish in their hearts.

the anguish
that never leaves my heart

bites my nails
and pulls my hair out

this anguish
one day might **** me

but maybe
just maybe

it already did it