A life without you Lord has no meaning.

Before you oh God I stand in full surrender.

Completely overwhelmed my desires.

Delivery me from my own desires.

Envelope my being with your Holy fire.

Fill my heart with love overflowing.

Give me the gift of decrement and understanding.

Hide me in thy precious wounds so by thy side I shall remain.

In you I find Fulfillment.

Jesus my Love and my Lord.

Keep me burning in love for you my God.

Lead me to thy Holy river.

Make me thine forever.

No man can comprehend your blazing glory.

Oh God my eternal Father.

Parise be to thee forever.

Quakes and Stroms resounds your majestic power.

Receive my unending worship my king and master.

Save me from my wayward undoings.

Teach me thy holy wordings.

Use me as thy unworthy instrument.

Victory belong to you mighty warrior!

Wash me free from every evil.

Xerospheres becomes streams in your holy precense.

You reign on high in unfading grandeur.

Zion forever proclaims your glorious slendur.

~For Pradip~
who reminded me:
We are all God’s Trial & Errors

tender is the tendency,
so finitely human,
infinitely foolish,
to overlook the
obvious,
let us not delve into our
particular peculiar idiosyncratic knots
in our hair and personalities,
all natural,
inherited or ill begotten
in voyages to far away,
like our childhood

Thus,
we are all mistakes of a sort

with natural fault lines,
accumulated dings, scapes, bruises,
furrowed crinkles that took us
years to perfect

We are flawed like diamonds,
valued by these natural flaws
by graders with loups who uncover
our flaunts, our clear air bubbles,
the more flaws the better,
because these attributes make us
most interesting!

you may be blonde,
you may be exotic
perhaps a lovely shade of
iridescence,

but lucky you whose scars speak
out and others wonder why,
they are so interesting

let us design a large animal,
seemingly ungainly, yet keystone to
their environment, so others may
profit thereby,
yet insanely quick on lumbering feet,
no hands, fingers, but a long snakey thinge
that multiple functions  for
breathing, drinking, feeding grabbing, smelling and
trumpeting their presence
to foolish beings in their neighborhood

let’s us not debate
whose design is
an efficacy par excellence

so we be
ungainly, too tall, too
this or that,
even too flawless,
a specialized curse of sorts,
we are the product of
a sophisticated design laboratory
that makes many models,
each variegated, always different

so get down on your knees *******,
and praise the design engineers
who created you to be
full of
& by elephantine trials and elephantine errors,
thereby making
us each,
a special pronoun,
an I
blessed
by definition:
though not in any dictionary:
unique,
flawless!


^you are the most
flawless poem
you have ever written
and will ever ever
write

some of the best recollections i curated is that of chaos.

i know you hate it, so i will make you remember.

how you lolled your tongue at the sight of garlic in your porridge when we’ve got nothing else to eat on a rainy day.

bowls of getting by squeezed out of tired pores, crated palms with puddles of a won day, same palms like coveted napkins on the lap of the rich wiping the long breath of hopelessness from your cheeks.

reed-thin body,
bones as if wafers,
yet we sprung forward.
not a care as we watched
the jowly cheeks of wanting
puff up.

how hand-me-down yesterdays were worn—a tradition tied around a last name like All Souls’ Day candles. they peer from behind the stars, thoughts of them sparkle, they are reminded of fights, they are reminded why they left in the first place, just in case boredom pays them a visit.

i’ve come to know, the most practical way to get a golden ticket to the land of happiness is to have it handy in my heart.

but you locked it up in a gilded cage and you chased a star not knowing it’s a sunset and it just kept dipping into peaks jutting out of nowhere, you had worn out your heels and you were left with nothing but midnight instead of holding on to your blanket and watch a new day spill out of the sky.

you were insane that way.

remember the shame how magic belts turned us red and purple and upright, and how we were the grinch who stole baby Jesus away from his nativity set and got caught and were taught grownups pick on kids who didn’t know better?

remember how mathematics predetermined our future as undisputed champs of failure courtesy of our clairvoyant aunts?

it mattered little—
inconsequential, so to speak.
we heaved our arms,
hoisted our dreams
onto our scrawny frames.
our bulging chests
were enough
for us to beat,
like bongos,
we fanned the flames
until they voices
throughout the milky way.
our mother
in her innocence believed
we were capable
of many a great things
between the better parts
of her mood swings.

we were mirrors more than we were humans portioned in parts bitter and beauty, we rummaged through every chance hoping we could unearth change, but we never did until it was too late.

yet, i always had your hand in mine. we dropped out of the line and strayed away from paths stamped with footprints of approval and wandered on roads no one can see but our hearts knew.

remember the day you let go so you could hold bottles thinking they were looking glasses, thinking they fermented clarity aged in oak barrels, and day after day you took a drop until you had an ocean dissolving you?

remember how i found real estate in the promises of a girl, how i grew a house there, but then, time mistook her for dorothy and blew her away like a tumble **** into the arms of another boy?

how i bawled out and how you had a ball at my expense, laughing at my silence at open mic night?

remember when we heard a drop of a needle the size of the moon hurtling down the earth when father sat up on his bed for the last time with his eyes open as if he saw an unseen door somewhere. somehow, we heard him skittering away while he left us a fertilizer for everyone to cry about?

remember how we forgot. we dreamt under the same roof before our feet carried us away.

into the mist went we,
threads began to fray,
we forgot.

i will make you remember,
before all that i am unravels.

It's like walking on PINS and NEEDLES,
which is very, very HARD to ENDURE,
While going through TRYING TIMES, and HARDSHIPS,
Looking for HOPE but just NOT TOO SURE.


When LIFE is GIVING you LEMONs or
You are just HANGING on by a THREAD,
or looking for a SCAPEGOAT or,
MAYBE IT ALL IN YOUR HEAD.


Whenever there is a PROBLEM,  
an ISSUE or NO RESOLUTION,
JUST ALWAYS REMEMBER:
THOUGH IT ALL!!!
There will always be a SOLUTION!!!


When Your NERVES are on the EDGE, and
YOU'RE COMPLETELY LOOSING CONTROL,
Your MIND is GOING SIDEWAYS,
As if you have NO PLACE ELSE TO GO,
When your NERVES are GETTING THE BEST of YOU, and
THOUGHTS are going TO and FRO.


Just TAKE in a FEW DEEP BREATHS L,
A give a STERN GLANCE,
LET GO of your FRUSTRATIONS and
Here comes your BIG CHANCE,


To LET GO OF the NERVES and
the TENSION,
For, this FEELING IT WILL NOT LAST,
IT WILL SUBSIDE and then GO AWAY, and
Your ANXIETY will be in the PAST!!!!


B.R.
Date:  10/31/2024

Art is a masterpiece
When no change is needed
To understand
Is to draw the last breath