I've seen this girl named Ana, she's pretty thin and tall, she has the smallest frame and not a single flaw.
I've met this girl named Ana, she introduced herself today. She seems so very nice and kind, she says she wants to stay.
I know this girl named Ana, she's so perfect and its true, I'm so fat compared to her, but shell make me skinny too.
I'm friends with this girl named Ana, I've started eating less, hating the person in the mirror, my lifes become a mess.
My bestfriend is this girl named Ana, I want her to always stay. All my other friends have left but she will never stray.
The only one I listen too is Ana, she's so mart and full of advice, I'm starting to get smaller. My health is my only sacrifice.
I'm scared of this girl named Ana, I can't get her out of my head. It finally accured to me, she wants me dead.
I hate this girl named Ana, she makes my life a living hell. Someone please hear my silent screams, cause she won't let me tell.
My worst enemy is this girl named Ana, she's a demon in my head, she seemed so nice at first but I was definately mislead.
I'm a prisonner to this girl named Ana, I'm captive to her will, I can't help to do what she says, how can I be so fat, still ?
My murderer is this girl named Ana, she starved me to my grave. My heart finally stopped beating, I just couldn't continue being brave..

"I'm going to sleep," I tell you,
but I will lie awake for hours,
tracing up and down
my hips,
my thighs,
my stomach,
my ribs,
pressing down and gently grazing,
contorting my body,
until I feel exactly what I want

Maybe if I lay like this,
sleep like this
for hours,
I will become the person I see in my dreams

Times before I've looked at my own insides,
Delicately moved my own private sword across the flesh
And watched as I proved to myself I was still alive
Despite what I felt inside, I knew what I saw. 
Don't ever call me weak. 
Days before I've stared into the eyes of my tormentor
And pretended nothing was awry though I knew
I knew he'd prove my bravery false later that night
Don't ever call me weak. 
Before, I've dropped pills in my hand, watching them cascade as a waterfall
And let them slide down my throat by the hundreds
Knowing there would be no coming back after I laid down
Waiting for my gentle release
Don't ever call me weak. 
Times before I've walked the halls of school, 
hearing others complain but knowing that was my happy place
Because "home" held such worse torments
Don't ever call me weak. 
Days before I've medicated, taking in more than should have been possible
Knowing that at any moment I could be taken
But never stopping, only going back for more
Don't ever call me weak. 
Before, I've watched with hawk-eyes every morsel that passed my lips
Going days without sustenance 
But knowing it was worth it in the end
Because I had gained control over my life, finally. 
Don't ever call me weak. 
Don't you ever ******* call me weak.

Anorexia
is the most deadly mental disorder
and maybe that is why
I tell myself I am fat,
maybe the reason I cry
when I look in the mirror
is because there is
110 pounds
too much of me
95 pounds
too much of me
80 pounds
too much of me,
I will not be content
until there is no weight left to lose,
until this skin is turned cold
and falls off my body,
I will be
counting the ribs you can see
on my corpse.
I will make myself smaller
and smaller
and smaller
until there is nothing left
to take away.

I lay in my bead cold and alone
Waiting for the endless pain
To go away.

I lay in my bed cold and alone
For someone to save me
From dying at home.

I lay in my bed cold and alone
I write and I write
but nothing comes out.

I lay in my bed cold and alone
Talking to myself
For there’s no one to talk.

I lay in my bed cold and alone
Waiting for my soul to fill what broke.

I lay in my bed cold and alone
For happiness I seek when I’m alone.

I lay in bed cold and alone
Please save me from drowning
In my own thoughts.

I lay in my bed cold and alone…

Sometimes I miss it.
The uncomfortable seats and the nervous tapping.
Dozens of eyes staring on through.
The panic in a mother's eyes and
How quick feet left a crowded room.
I'm nostalgic for my misery,
Because I knew it so well,
Because it knew me, too.

Comforting is a tragedy,
When it's one you've learned to recite
Day after day, the same practiced smile
Then bleeding it out by my own hand
Night after night.
I knew my lines well,
I'd known my whole life.

I miss it some days,
the adrenaline of the ER.
I know that it's wrong,
But breaking felt so right.
My demons have mostly gone,
And for that I thank myself.
But if it ever gets too safe out here,
I'll retire to my old bed.
I'll welcome back my old friends
With my hospital bracelet
wrapped around pink wrists again.

The day I met Ana
Is the day I died.
They day I met Ana
I thought I would survive.
20 pounds to go.
To look like a pro
Ten pounds to go
Are my bones starting to show.
500 the first
400 the next
The calories went down like the fat on my chest.
I started to feel dizzy.
Empty inside.
I started to feel happy
Thinner with more pride.
One bone here.
Another bone there.
My heart was stopping.
It couldn't be more clear.
But Ana loves me.
She'll never stray.
No matter how many go,
I know she's here to stay.
It might cost me health.
It might cost me my life.
But id rather die than be fat.
Skinny is my dream tonight.

Vines swindle & slither along my spine
Clawing & Raking thorns into my thighs.
When will I  realize?
That I am no good, too fat, not thin enough.
I'll wander this Earth, lifetime after another
until I'm emaciated as the rings of Saturn.
Only then will I be thin.