Beer in hand
Drinking my pains away
In front of me my child stands
"Get out of my sight, go and play"

The wife arrives home
Tears in her eyes
"Someone just throw this ***** a bone"
Turn up the volume, drown out the cries

"Turn that **** down" she yells
Sick of this crap
In my head like loud bells
Beat this ***** with my belt strap

She curls in the corner alone
I resume watching my show
My son mutters in a low tone
I raise my hand for the blow

He stares into my eyes
I see a glassy mirror
My heart falls and inside I die
I'm a ****** monster, a terror

Tears fall down my cheek
My young boy is a reflection of me
What will this cause him to seek
This is not what he should see

As the diamonds fall over his dimples
He asks me "is me and mummy a burden?"
Down my face tears still trickle
Speechless deep inside I'm hurting

"No my boy, daddy is a rotten man"
"I still love you daddy, just
please don't hit mummy again"
Choking up my chest begins to bust

My son is a bigger man than his father
I wish I could right my wrongs
But to protect my son and his mother
I tremble walking deaths songs

I'm not good for either
Before I enter the gates of hell
"Son, please take care of your mother"
This is the end my life I expel.

A tall elixir
Swirling flask
Unfinished liquid
Thoughts putrid

A shot of elixir
Drowning sorrow
Unglamorous color
Forgetful odor

Another elixir
Heavier, thicker
Unfettered desire
Desiring another

Anosher elishir
Heevy sluur
Unsobur effurt
Bluuring vishun...

Afae afgij
Jealk lli
Ggag..
...

I remember the first time you told me that you stopped drinking.
My heart took flight and the idea of having a sober father became the root of my happiness.
You got drunk that night.

I remember the first time you let me down.
I stood alone among my peers because you had better things to do.
You got drunk that night.

I remember the first time I slit my porcelain skin open for you.
As blood trickled from my veins I begged you to come and rescue me from the demons in my mind.
You got drunk that night.

I remember the first time I tried to put an end to all the madness that engulfed my life.
I grabbed your gun from the safe and shot a bullet through my head.
I will never know if you got drunk that night.
You probably did.