I look back, was it all worth it?
Saying good bye at the airport pretending like it wasn't going to be our last.

I'm walking to my car holding back my tears, almost lost it.
You got on that plane, didn't look back.

On my way back to Clear Lake I pull off to the side of the road, almost lost it.
You land in Brisbane, didn't look back.

I walk into our apartment look into your room, almost lost it.
You're home now, didn't look back.

I sent you something in the mail, must of lost it.
You're seeing someone now, did you look back?

It's New Year's Eve
I'm here
You're there
I'm alone
You're far from it
I lost it
And now I can't look back

My eyes are burning
And my *** needs some space
This kid is staring at me
He has a big grin on his face
For 6 hours he's been awake
Bouncing around on three seats
It almost seems like someone
Has given him **** to eat
I stuff myself with pills
To try to get some sleep
But the kid is keeping me up
So soon I'll make him weep
I will whisper in his ear
That santa isn't real
And I'll describe to him
How chicken-pox will make him feel
I'll tell him about the dentist
How bad it hurts to drill
And how much he'll have to work
To be able to pay his bills
How hard it is to get a girl
How expensive a driving lesson is
The statistics of failing marriages
And how you can get ****** from a kiss
I'll tell him all of this and more
If he doesn't sit down and shut up
And if he still won't calm down
I'll show him *******

am i a failure ?
indecisiveness is the blood that runs in my veins
not good enough is a label on my brain
in between clouds on a plane ,
yet i feel crushed beneath the surface of the earth
and i try not to feel too much or think too much
but like an invisible ghost my own brain haunts me
i try to close my eyes and drift away like the aircraft I'm in
but my thoughts pull me harshly down like gravity
I'm now a crashing airplane
sending down flames and pain , I'm crying
my tears are the ocean i crash into
and my soul is the island nearby
watching myself crash and not being able to do anything about it
silent and lost in its own forest , my soul watched me from afar
my screams , my sirens begging for it to help
I'm falling into the water in slow motion yet everything seems to happen so fast
thinking if i would ever float to the surface
I'm still drowning , in my own tears and blood
slowly i lose my ability to breathe
but my beating heart is not stopping
i hit the ocean floor , a loud thud that  created a crater
now sand is surrounding me
i open my eyes but i can't see , the giant ocean and world in front of me
on the ocean floor helplessly laying
no hope no dreams no goals just a blank space of feelings
thoughts scream into my head and i mute them dead
i wake up on a shore ready to fly again
where will life take me after all this hurt and misery
will i drown in the salty water of my eyes
or explode on a town full of people
will i fall and be the fault of the peoples' pain
or will i safely reach land
my engines ignite , i regain back my sight
its time to see the world with my own eyes
its the time to live not trying to survive

What a happy thought;
As I'm overwhelmed with fear as our plane shakes with turbulence left to right I suddenly hear the sweet sound of children giggling with joy, having no clue how high in the air we are or what the possibility of this could all mean.

I'll trade you my heavy heart for your fresh perspective

The clouds are boring now
as I exist in a realm outside reason and romance.
These clouds are aimlessly
splattered on a dull blue sky
by a tried Artist
feeling uninspired…unrealized.

Is there any hope
for the Artist
and our world he tries to paint?
Why must the artwork continue
to destroy itself!
I destroy me
by staying stagnant and unamused.

Perhaps sometimes art
must be boring to soothe the soul

My eyes are burning
And my *** needs some space
This kid is staring at me
He has a big grin on his face
For 6 hours he's been awake
Bouncing around on three seats
It almost seems like someone
Has given him **** to eat
I stuff myself with pills
To try to get some sleep
But the kid is keeping me up
So soon I'll make him weep
I will whisper in his ear
That santa isn't real
And I'll describe to him
How chicken-pox will make him feel
I'll tell him about the dentist
How bad it hurts to drill
And how much he'll have to work
To be able to pay his bills
How hard it is to get a girl
How expensive a driving lesson is
The statistics of failing marriages
And how you can get ****** from a kiss
I'll tell him all of this and more
If he doesn't sit down and shut up
And if he still won't calm down
I'll show him *******

An airplane knows
With roaring confidence
How to hold us in his heart
And raise us up high above

An airplane knows
With daring assurance  
When to take off and not stop
until our destinations reached

Because of all that
Mentioned or not
I put my trust in him
And keep my dreams flying