(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

I like looking at your face
It makes my days brighter
It's a risky business though
Would be weird if you noticed me
Staring at you every other minute
I wouldn't want to scare you
So I try not to look
But I fail
I fail every time
Your face is just too pretty

It isn't fair
You've gone and done it again
Made me love you
With reckless abandon
No thought of consequences or heartache
Just like last time

Did you know you were pulling me back in
Just when I thought I'd gotten out, gotten away
Were you aware
That with every text, every laugh, every touch
I was falling deeper in love with you
Until every poem I wrote was about you

Last time you weren't ready for this, for us, for a relationship
I waited as long as I could, but I couldn't wait forever
This time I made the same mistake,
Thinking you might finally be ready

And you might have been
Except that soon you'll be
Thousands
Of miles
Away

And I'll be here
Waiting
And hoping
And praying
That one day you might love me enough to come home

To you, the ground beneath my feet
Every step I take,
you support me.

You stand with me,
in my times of trouble

I am warmed by your embrace,
as I become entranced in your outfit of lace.

Nothing could be more finely crafted,
than my connection with you.

The ages may wear on you,
yet you remain the only one
my sole longs for.

For you truly are...
My favorite pair of shoes.

If I could turn back time
I would hit Backspace all day,
Id put on Caps Lock
and SHOUT what I say.

I'd use the whole Alphabet
To tell you hello,
Press seven Numbers
Til you picked up the phone.

I'd Tab through the comments
I didn't want to hear,
And use the Arrow Keys
To drag your body near.

I would Delete the harsh words
I didn't mean to speak,
And Insert the "I love yous"
I before couldn't leak.

I would use Ctrl to
Keep reigns over my heart,
And I would Escape lies
That tore us apart.

I'd Print out your photo
And kiss it goodnight,
Use the Calculator
To check that we were right.

I'd Paint you a picture
of us, you and me,
Then I'd hit Enter
Just so you would see.

Those are the things
I would do in my strife,
If only Backspace
worked in real life.

What can I know?
I'm a being on this earth
Truths and myths are all around
They've haunted me since birth

But what is knowing and what's myth?
These myths are sacred and profane
They blend together like the clouds
And fall as steady rain

What of myths about knowingness -
as the Gnostics do believe?
Flawed men by a flawed creator
Is what you're likely to achieve

The Demiurgos is a painter who painted all we see
Though imperfect, it is beautiful, and your will is always free
Life - it's true - is suffering from birth until the grave
None escape this fate - from king to pet or slave

Still we exist in something
Dissolving on God's tongue
In this confusion of a pantheon
Our spark must weigh a ton

Free me, Lord, from ignorance
Though you can only do so much
Enlightenment is knowledge
Which is still up to us

Integrity is essential
For society and for each man
All in all considering
I'll do just what I can

This life is temporary and I will not learn enough
But with higher light from messengers I might just break these bonds
And be lifted from this situation - freedom from rebirth -
To live as one eternally upon a heaven earth

For now I must admit that so much is in my mind
As above it's so below - from within here to all outside
Jesus Christ and sweet Sophia went through - they were tested, too
Everything they were is in you - do unto as they do

What can I know?
I have been chasing it since birth
The spirit is within me
It's all across the earth

Anxiety
I wish it would go away
But instead it decides to stay…

You feel your pulse race
You try find a safe place
To curl up and cry
Because all you want is to fly
Away so no one has to see
How unhappy you may be

You walk into the room
Someone asks “hey how you doing?”
You start some small talk,
but to your shock
You get irritated over something small
Uh oh, here starts your downfall

You lay down and try to sleep
But don’t worry, it won’t be deep
Your mind will start to run
It’ll make sure to have fun
While it tears you apart
And rips out your heart

You try make new friends
Maybe even tie up other loose odds and ends
But you let your mask slip
And start to lose your grip
They think you are mad
But really you’re just sad
You try to explain
But it turns out vain

You start some meds
Because everyone says
Your mind is unstable
And if you take these you might be able
To start on a new path
That won’t leave you a bloodbath

You start to feel empty
And think “why has everyone left me”
You feel all alone
Like you’ve been thrown
Aside and forgotten
Like something that's gone rotten

You begin to wonder
As you start to go under
Why you feel the way you do
If only you knew
There is a variety
Of ways to be attacked by anxiety.