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Summer Michelle Dec 2015
Slowly my mind shifts from reality to fantasy,
My vision warps as I lose sense of what’s in front of me.
Is this real or am I just lost in my mind?
Both vivid, but thoughts are consuming.

                    Strong hands grab my waist from behind,
                    I feel their warmth seep into my skin,
                    His breath captivating my every sense.
                    I wonder, “Is this real?” as he holds me tighter, closer.
                    I can’t seem to deny him this satisfaction.

I’ve found myself think on more than one occasion
If this is how we find love
I wonder about whether or not it’s to fill a void
Or if this is an act of rebellion

                    The touch of his hand sends me
                    To a place in myself that I did not know existed.
                    Something about him intrigues me like no other.
                    There’s something inside I see
                    Trying to come out and stay in all at once.

Drawn to the darkest places inside everyone,
My darkness expands.
The comfort of isolation and the warmth of cool air surround me.
Though too weak to carry myself,
I can hold the world for anyone else.

                    The depth of despair is nowhere near the depth of his soul.
                    The scars that he hides to please the ones he loves grip his
                                        lungs.
                 ­   Each day he grows weaker,
                    More afraid of losing the strength to take another shallow
                                       breath.
                    Still he fights for consciousness to consume him.

Tears bleed down my face when I remember
The past few years and what they have done.
I promise myself never again.
I promise myself to **** the spark.
A promise I cannot keep as I’m still falling.

                    The ground is a comforting place to fall to.
                    The concrete makes a soft landing for the fall from the highest
                                       cloud.
                    The world never looked so clear through my blurry eyes,
                    But I’d guessed this is what would become of me.

Captivated in my thought, I can’t see the reality before me.
The madness inside is spewing into my false idea of reality.
These rooms are constantly spiraling out of control.
If I cannot trust my own eye to show me something steady,
How can I know that this world is authentic?

                    I can’t find reality in my madness.
                    I can’t find a dreamland in my consciousness.
                    My hands reach for my head
                    Hoping to hold onto the idea of sanity.
                    Is the rush of people around me real or am I just lost in my
                                       mind?

My thoughts are consuming the sense I had left.
I watch as I see myself dissolving in the surrounding air.
Barely clinging to the pain I’ve lost the safety of my heart.
I’m trying to make sense of the games I watch in play,
But nothing but Pain comes to say:

          “Take away my sense, take away my love.
          Pain; a safe place to stay it seems to be.
          See the man inside of you running away while you exhale?
          It seems to me that you’re trying to run from something too.”
Say my name
Say it gently
Use your words
To caress me
Speak your thoughts
Speak them out loud
Confess your love
Amidst the crowd
Scream your wishes
Scream your dreams
Make your reality
Better than it seems
Whisper your pain
Whisper your fears
Release the tension
Wipe away your tears
Open your mind
Open up wide
Let my love in
Let me inside
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
I can't say that I want someone to save me
          I've got nothing to be rescued from
I can't say I haven't rescued myself
          I've got nothing to be rescued from

Time moves in mysterious ways
          Sometimes it seems to be still
But other days it seems
          We're moving in fast motion

My memories haven't faded away
          And I can't seem to move past this stage
I'm mourning - not quite mourning
          I hoping - not quite hoping
I'm just stuck in the same cycle
          Of spyraling myself to the ground
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
I look up for the comfort of the air to wrap its self around me
The brisk air kisses my cheeks and turns them red
This is something I’ll never lose

I stare into the bright light of the flame and let its dance fulfill me
The warmth it emits fuels the hope in my eyes
This is something I won’t forget

I suffocate under the water but it slowly releases me
The coolness of my choking turns my lips blue
This is something I’ll hold onto

I breathe in the dust as I walk out at dusk looking for a new day
The grit leads to my coughing on every breath
This is something that won’t last
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
Shaking
The ground is shaking and I can see
Your heart is breaking with every step I take
It's crazy
It's crazy how all of this has changed
So much between us
When I promise, I mean it

Hold your breathe baby
Hold it for me
I promise I'll be back before this all ends

There's a split in the ground
Beneath your feet
Please be careful, lovely
You're playing with fire the more you breathe
I'm sorry for this
For causing you're suffocating
I promise, I'll be there again

Hold your breathe baby
Hold it for me
I promise I'll be back before this all ends

Hold your breathe baby
Hold it for me
I promise I'll be back before this all ends

When I promise
I mean it
I promise I'll be back again.

Hold your breathe baby
Hold it for me
I promise I'll be back before this all ends

Shaking
The ground is shaking again
Ican see you fall inside
The cracks we have made
When I promise, I mean it
I'm back now
Im back now just in time to watch
You're suffocating
I promised, I'd come back
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
It doesn't matter what I write
This all lives inside me still
Waiting around to strike

I think I've lost before I start
I think I've failed before I've tried
I think it's over before it could ever begin
I am my own worst nightmare

The music I've held so dear to my soul
Should shed light on what I feel
Do you give it a chance
Do you give me a chance
Before you cast you stones and cast your judgements on me

I think I'm fat when I starve
I think I'm ***** when I'm clean
I think that, I'm sure that you could never want me
I am my own misery

The fires I'm watching, so close in sight
Could burn even our sun
Could you come closer, ***
Oh, will you stay with me
This time I meant everything I said, I promise

I think that I'm worthless
I think I'm a prize
I think that I'm clueless
I think that I'm bright
I live in the darkness
But I hold the light
I could get out but there's nothing for me
At least in the cold I have myself
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
I know now
That we must protect what we love
I know now
That we can't let opinions in
Because if you love cake
And someone else doesn't
You wouldn't stop eating the cake
Because they didn't like it
Would you?
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