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Jun 2014 · 512
Untitled
Sia Jane Jun 2014
Arousing emotion,
you flee
not me*

You escape
everything you have
that armour
how you plead
for it to
protect thee

Eyes look into mine
for God you devote
those feelings
you can't take with you
the love within
run & hide

You're scared
not another
bride to be
we step unknown
love a new
drug injected

You're in my veins
as I am too
buried deep within you
crack, coke, mary jane
take that look
brutal addiction

Love attacks
it's all the same
go on & swig that drink
oblivion escape
wake again
repeating such insane

Patterns of hate
brought forth
you still believe it is fate
but darling you see
you drive this very bus
ahead of thee

It's a one way street
no diversions will keep
the hurt from its peak
you
so terrifyingly
gave to me

'Cause baby you know
deep within you
you'll never find
another like me
no matter how far
or fast that you flee.

© Sia Jane
Gotta love heartbreak.
Jun 2014 · 1.1k
Gift(s) of despair
Sia Jane Jun 2014
Rock & roll, ain't gonna catch my fall
I'm not from the 60's
Nor 70's generations
I'm a firmly placed, figure of 8 (oh)
Over three decades passed
Don't forget me last
I dressed in double denim
Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Bon Jovi
I'm livin' on a prayer
I've been given a gift
The gift of despair
Protect me, seize me
It ain't gonna ever live, be in vain
Know my name
It's all part of the game
Winners & losers
It's all begun
Those bitter ends come undone
Flung, flung, flung
I'll bounce back
I'm that highly strung.

© Sia Jane
Jun 2014 · 1.0k
Sirens
Sia Jane Jun 2014
She taught me,
                         ultraviolence,
ticking, clockwork,
                                orange
standing in the sea, unafraid
of the
ferocity of waves, hitting
shores, bodies dragged
delving,
             digging,
deeper to the roots,
souls buried,
hearing, I am hearing them,
                                               scream,
the sky opens, filling oceans
poison, killing,
                        softly, wreckless
pouring that hope, a rope
strangles at love,
outcomes,
inevitability as consequence,
oh, the bamboo
piercing bleeding skin,
                                      punctured,
gashes flooding sirens,
road ****, eaten away,
vultures,
offering the,
only
company.

© Sia Jane
Jun 2014 · 702
Moon Over
Sia Jane Jun 2014
Gratitude
I searched the dictionary
I desperately wanted to find
a word, another string of letters
The List
I write, pages, flick, flick , flick
and the pencil, it scribbles,
"I should have known," she winks
"You're a writer."
My Gratitude
How it extends, to places, to people
to survival, and saving
to writing, to daring
to believing, to loving
to declaration
My Evolution
How you've watched me
grow
A mere amateur back in
June
A full year.
My first poem
"Where is my mind"
A recollection, as though
yesterday
the break, I snapped
I dared to enter the
unknown
The land known as Hello Poetry.

© Sia Jane
Extended gratitude and more for each and every one of you here.
I love you with all my heart!
I cannot thank you enough for all have do for me, and your unconditional acceptance.
Thank you for welcoming with such such immense love.
Jun 2014 · 1.1k
Lovely Bones
Sia Jane Jun 2014
To keep an untold story
within this very soul
heart breaking pain
cracking through ribs
                                    ribs
                  ­                       ribs


At once such lovely bones
which crumble
                         crumble
                                       crumble


Second chance a delicacy
placing those candles
petrol fuel to a fire raging
                                          raging
        ­                                             raging


When I write love
there is a reason
the four letter words
become only three
                               three
                                        three


A four letter word
a heart replacing
an empty o
                      o
                          o

Hold­ing the letter
my heart not yours
you don't release
this fear
              fear
                     fear


I say I miss you
you say you
miss me
               me
                    me


Vulnerable fragile
bones break
                    break
                              br­eak


Resist temptation
only peace is
my love
               love
                       love.


© Sia Jane
Jun 2014 · 3.5k
Meadow
Sia Jane Jun 2014
a peace sign
painted in sugar
tulip tattooed circle
swan like movements
lifted into blueskies
rose tinted sunglasses
hungarian green eyes
forests silver lining
magic easily broken
oh little girls
why bruised eyes
baby set free
winged haute couture.

© Sia Jane
Jun 2014 · 683
Divine
Sia Jane Jun 2014
Be my constellation
faerie dreams
come true
you will be
my magic
your one true love
fantasy guides you
to me
          to me
                    to me
a star will
never shine
with a broken heart
light this midnight
sky together
we will fill
until love is there
to over spill
from our hearts
blessed are those
so few.*
I love you

© Sia Jane
Jun 2014 · 802
Faerie tales
Sia Jane Jun 2014
They named her Chloé
delicately winged
an entity of
magical pretences.

She was a goddess of
mythical Greece
a child so bright
skipping below moonlight.

Wild children run
hibernate within
homes of trees
squirrels, birds, flight.

Summer comes to bloom
rose-printed butterflies
predicting destiny
of living as one.

A guest she became
an adopted soul
intense philosophies of
paths unknown.

Collected lies bring
anew misunderstanding
in her the ever
wandering romantic.

Tears filled a
blessing for the one
that would forever
set
her
free.

© Sia Jane
May 2014 · 406
Do you?
Sia Jane May 2014
I asked about you,
at an age oh so small,
I couldn't understand,
why did I not, fit in,
though so so small
So much bigger,
was this universe than,
me,
More than anything,
could ever be grasped,
I dared not to,
understand,
Walls in this room,
painted through,
a lens up to space,
stars that shone, back,
to me,
I'm sure the moon smiled,
or was she,
just,
mocking me?
Through the decades,
I fought,
no grasp of this,
Big Wide World,
could I maybe then,
control, constrain,
the mere insignificant,
me, me, me
And to this day, I'm
left,
with,
me, me, me
Despite the moon,
still smiling at me.

© Sia Jane
I miss you all and miss reading.
I am busy working the 12 Steps in AA right now, and so getting writing and all that and reading here, is hard time to find. Though I endeavour every day to <3 Miss you and thank you for your patience <3
May 2014 · 887
Burn (til it hurts)
Sia Jane May 2014
Lullabies no longer soothe,
The voices hiding,
Behind the many masks,
You've torn and tugged,
From me.

Empty bodies fuelled,
By self-masochism,
In truth the,
Hurting pleases,
One hit, two hit, fall.

The hurting pain,
Remedies,
A life time,
Of escalating,
Misery, woe is me.

It isn't a lie,
To wish for a,
Deadly game,
Of cross your heart,
Oh hoping to die.

Lost selves,
Blanket tears cried,
Telling tales of,
Kisses with,
Fists.

Rendering love,
Better than none,
Crazy, bitter,
Mind so,
Benign.

Those trusted few,
Never would they,
Have knew, how that,
Wind,
Howled,
And
Blew.

Shattered.

A
Million
Little
Pie­ces.

© Sia Jane
May 2014 · 702
I, insomniac
Sia Jane May 2014
I think sometimes,
darkness falls
&
we are in it, regardless of
circumstance or event,
regardless of whether
we are adored, loved, graced
& promised.

Pain isn't external,
it sits deep in me,
a lump in my throat,
an echo in my chest,
&
it is real
&
raw
& it digs.

It removes any of the joy,
flattery, content others
may take for granted.

It buries deeper
&
deeper.

Right to the core,
the soul.

It screams
&
silences your whispers.

I wish to sleep
& I fear I may not be able
to keep on top of
the endless digging.

Deeper.
Each hour that passes.
I tell myself sleep is for the weak.
A mental battle between my own mind
&
reality.

I crave the rest yet I,
detest the fear.

Sleep has become an enemy.
Bitter sweet.
Compassionate yet punishing.

I lie there some nights, waiting.
It is incessant most nights.
I fight the need to sleep.
I can cope without sleep.
Days at a time, of course.

I can exist on the air I breath
&
little else.

And so they fade, one into another. I lose sense of reality or the realistic patterns of life. I exist in my bubble & as much as it is hell, it is a cocoon of detachment. Feared but lost within this mind.

Insomnia is the bully. It has tortured me since my teens. Who knows if its lingering presence will ever liberate me, my mind, my joy, my life or my dreams.

Hope is a cynicism at these times. All the love & praise & wonder I am presented with on this thirty second birthday could merely be lost in a nightmare of what is most probably my own making.

The ******* within me always seems to win this war.
We have a love hate relationship
&
we have for many many years.

© Sia Jane
I haven't been around but hopefully I am back now I have applications out of the way. You can always visit me: www.facebook.com/Siajanewords

This is from last year, and the battle I can still have, with insomnia.
May 2014 · 1.3k
Cannibal
Sia Jane May 2014
Sketch me,
draw me in your mind,
project me onto your canvas.
colour me,
releasing the unquiet,
make me your,
unprecedented piece,
an ongoing life work,
perfecting all impurities,
eradicate all self-flagellation,
espouse a new desire,
akin to Basil's obsession,
The Picture of Dorian Gray,
infatuation lends to disillusion,
pursuing,
hedonistic pleasures,
soul baring to all sin,
intentions to please,
exonerate myself entirely,
you promised redemption,
not further damnation,
I'm Narcissus trapped,
between,
painted reflections of self,
dying a thousand times,
devoted & absconded trust,
pulling it out,
hand in chest,
blood,
           poured
                    poured              
                       ­              poured
                        

as Lector serves,
killings,

you feasted on my heart,
with the same delight.


© Sia Jane
I am so absent here and I miss you all and all your writings so much.
Very busy but I will find time soon to catch up xoxo
May 2014 · 876
Soul (not) for sale
Sia Jane May 2014
Soul not for sale
(sang to me)
No closing escrow
(renters may inquire)
Fostering a new neighbour
(a God to play with Lucifer)
A reckless promiscuity
(hands tied to a bed)
Other lovers pass through
(a medium of the wounded)
Broken down beings
(lost to the devil)
Respecting the community
(falling like flies)

Suffer
          Suffer
                    Suffer

    ­                           Pleading
                Pleading
Pleading


(there is no escape)
Dawn may break
(promising a new light)
Remaining the same
(ground hog day)

She's still tied to that same bed.


© Sia Jane
May 2014 · 1.6k
edie & warhol
Sia Jane May 2014
encased with passion & desire,
love & lust he waits for her still,
a muse

he's restless & listless, his heart beats,
& bleeds, catch up, catch up,
a muse

leaking lover lost through, a dripping soul,
red raw, vulnerable, closed,
a muse

a fragility so unknown to her, a naivety,
oblivious, at risk from all men,
a muse

he couldn't have her, so he destroyed her,
she disallowed all men in,
a muse

denial & unfazed, she's dazed, confused,
he watches from the sidelines,
a muse

this obsession won't hit him,
or maybe the day she is gone, he will,
a muse

drugs were a power, greater than her,
releasing caged birds, an angel above,
a muse.

© Sia Jane
May 2014 · 2.6k
Judas
Sia Jane May 2014
Touch me like I am,
a moonbeam of delight.

A sky diamond no flaws,
a flashback through time.

Seek solace in midnight memories,
a weight in golden worth.

Arrest me make the suggest,
to hold me in utter nakedness.

Pretty dancer whiskey bottle,
phone on repeat dead line.

Custody danger never to be seen,
another round null no sound.

Constance in the coffee shop,
scouting out potentials.

Blows off steam outside church walls,
ringing bells magical three tolls.

Great thinkers diseased,
malady of souls.

Faking it 'til they make it,
open your eyes.

Sorrows of another night,
off the wagon.

Pick you up,
lost cause.

Judas.
Judas.
Judas.


Desperation,
a blinded soul.

© Sia Jane
May 2014 · 805
Hollywood's Dead
Sia Jane May 2014
There ain't no comin' back,
                 you always fall too far,
Into abyss, never ever learning,
You ain't comin' back,
                 from being that bad,
Leavin' you tomorrow, a promise made,
                  yesterdays last glass,
Forgivin' by the mornin', you'll always,
                  get your wish,
Nothin' is gonna come & save you,
                  you told me this,
Now look at the bliss, broken man,
                  a shot & a miss,
A kiss with a prayer; thirst, hunger, flesh,
                 heart filled boxes,
Crossing lines, blurred, unhinged,
                 beauty queen quest,
Disaster honey, the finest catch,
                trust earned with just one touch,
***, lust, a sincere must for you,
                fill it, empty it out,
Waking sober, harrowing saint,
               throw back the bottle,
Ain't no angel saving you,
              smoke another puff,
Drag it out long,
               shadow seeking,
Dissipating in air,
              polluted landscapes.
The world ain't yours any more,
              lost; born to die young.


© Sia Jane
Sorry for the epic absence and the lack of reading etc I am just crazy busy right now. Miss you all and miss your works and writing <3
Apr 2014 · 499
Sin
Sia Jane Apr 2014
Sin
I am not seeking
attention

I am only seeking
redemption.*

© Sia Jane
Apr 2014 · 626
Comfortably Numb
Sia Jane Apr 2014
Perish, perish, as all men shall
Who swing away, falling prey
A glass, a glass, shall it suffice
Who'll pay, the ultimate price
Of a feared, oh feared device
Addiction, control
Apathy, restraint
Fill me, fill me, straight to the brim
Whisper those lies, sweet lullaby
Secrets spell, promises, promises
Feed me a fable, tales, tales
Feed me forgiveness, let it go, go, go
Disallow my sorrow, empty
Comfortably numb

Dumb
Dumb
Dumb


That old rule of thumb.

© Sia Jane
Apr 2014 · 1.0k
Dis-Ease
Sia Jane Apr 2014
I remember being told about disease
or as I was to go on to believe, see & live it,
I was at;

DIS-EASE

My mind, my body, my soul,
all at a;

DIS-EASE

I never really understood;

DIS-EASE

aside from its endless resounding emptiness
without it
how can one miss being at;

DIS-EASE

with all they are, all they do, all they see, all they love,
their whole life story they've been travelling since conception

I need you now,
you're the last thing I need.

Power struggles;

DIS-EASE
UN-EASE

and what I pray for;
oh just to be;

AT-EASE

Why would we choose disease?

© Sia Jane
Apr 2014 · 522
living as one
Sia Jane Apr 2014
a deep coldness, it resides
between the light & the day
& the birth of another night
a star already gone, a moon
smiling, saving the sun
pink skies, how they bleed
intoxicating light, at each
sun down

dusk transforms, magic
black sky, star light
star bright, how I pray
on thee each
& every night, first sight
night fades, an awakening dawn
a birds first call, branches
all a clatter

blue bells blossom, another
voice, an over grown lawn
life comes into, its
very own bloom
a resounding reminder, each day
to be lived, survived, surpassed

laying my head, each night
open eyes, clearest of skies
living for each day, imagine
prayers wishing, oh continue
to only bless me

I don't need much, love
a mind playing, resting still
a dreamer, oh the idealist in me
another passing day, whispers
each day
a new step, a new lease
of life

voices infiltrate, body, soul
mind, like sand
not a place unturned
morning prayer, nightly promise
just another day
just
another
day.

© Sia Jane
Apr 2014 · 1.2k
dipsomania
Sia Jane Apr 2014
No pill No pill No pill
No drink No drink No drink
No harm No harm No harm
No escape No escape No escape

Running Running Running
From From From
Myself Myself Myself
Haunted Haunted Haunted

(oh this taunting by thee, by thee, by thee)

A bottle A bottle A bottle
Singing Singing Singing
Lullaby Lullaby Lullaby
Addict Addict Addict

(scratching air you love to berate, berate, berate me)

Skin Skin Skin
Climbing Climbing Climbing
Walls Walls Walls
Caged Caged Caged

(pray to a God to thee above, above, above)

Remember Remember Remember

See a window
Not a mere wall

(See See See)

Thee has caught up
With me, me, me.

© Sia Jane
Just thoughts on addiction, which manifests in many ways through cross addiction.
Apr 2014 · 1.7k
Magnetic Spirit
Sia Jane Apr 2014
Karen Carpenter, bridged sued cap d'hiver,
(which I hear will be very en vogue this summer)
fringe falling, as gracefully as music flowing through her veins,
(a Pucci jumpsuit, a throwback to times, of rock and roll)

Pinned hair, taped face to secure a wig cap,
(a daily communion bonding her soul to her self)
those Miu Mui boots, leather wrapped sewn to her body
(to which is laying amid candle light gypsy retreat)

A left thigh, glance of the subtly disguised tattoos inscribing her body,
(do we mark our body, to impress others or to claim our own bodies)
silk Chloé gown, gypsy princess of Parisian quarters,
(Jakarta may someday be a resting place for an unsettled soul)

Placing pencil to paper, poetry writes me as lyrics write her,
(do the ivory keys of the Grand Piano fuse inspiration)
piercing red nails, grasping left handed she writes writes writes,
(maybe notes of her future travels dreams aspirations)

A 70's heroine, born to the wrong era standing in the past,
(Yoko Ono Led Zep Stevie Nicks, mahatma's of a lost scene)
innocence purity porcelain *******, torn from a womb too soon,
(not at once a smile, reflective nostalgia unwavering past future)

A fallen tear drop, a hopelessness of peace in her eyes,
(one can see both tattoos of present; ARTPOP, of past; peace symbol)
a fallen angel, legacy leaving her mark on a generation of those lost,

Her left wrist shows a peace sign as a commitment to such peace

Will this ever be a possibility on a planet we call earth?

© Sia Jane
See "Porter Magazine" - "Gaga The Lady interview photographed by Inez & Vinoodh.
Apr 2014 · 663
Mary's in India
Sia Jane Apr 2014
Clawed free standing
A bath tub
Copper filled with salt water
Outstretched beachscapes
A view to ****
Of those dawning
Singing dolphins
Dancing so freely
Without caution
And there remains you
Not cast out at sea
Stranded none the less
Paradise island
Never once tasted sweet
The salt had blisters
The copper etching scrawls
Semi precious skin
She knows she's up
When the light of the moon
Is up there on his throne
This queen awaits
To take a chance
On living
Once
Again.*

© Sia Jane
It's 3am and I can't sleep!
Apr 2014 · 1.9k
Sandman
Sia Jane Apr 2014
Sandman, Sandman
Disallow the haunting
Of dreams so
terrifying.

Sandman, Sandman
Insomnia lives within
Of Hans Christian Anderson tales
release.

Sandman, Sandman
Gently falling asleep
Of Ole Lukøje folk
tales.

Sandman, Sandman
Mythic creature allow
Of fearlessly opened
eyes.

Sandman, Sandman
Sprinkle thy sand
Beneath the colored
umbrella.

Sandman, Sandman
Children dream deeply
Of magical stories
Goodnight.

© Sia Jane
Apr 2014 · 769
For I, shall haunt
Sia Jane Apr 2014
Divided we fall, the river runs rapids,
Caged, controlled, a dichotomy,
It's inner wave of rebellion and force,
For it shall not be tamed and I shall,
Not surrender for this greater good,
Of refusing my wandering or wondering,
For shall I not chase of death,
I shall wander, alone if need be,
For as these falls pour and sprout,
Crinkle and cut water edges, stones and brick,
As they endure, I too shall endure, for I am as mighty as any force of nature,
Any greater than any curse bestowed on me,
For I may not be omnipotent or a caped crusader,
I may at once be Jekyll and then be Hyde,
I may be the worst of times or the best of times,
I may render myself insignificant or seek a grandiose in my stare,
I'm the human, monsters are within me,
Neither me nor thee may see them or fear them,
For I, for I, for I
Am your biggest nightmare for all the world to see,
Majestical and free, I shall always haunt thee.

© Sia Jane
Apr 2014 · 595
restore(d)
Sia Jane Apr 2014
I have been found
All at once,
Bad form

How terrifying this ordeal
She comes back,
Infinite resurrection

My hands are given
She persecutes me,
Foolish again

The last of you
Power fades away,
I'm taken

If this life is,
a carnival
I sure as hell,
pulled a
Straw so very short,

I'm the invincible thrill,
the roller coaster,

Detour,
one door

You guess it?

© Sia Jane
Apr 2014 · 1.5k
Tropico
Sia Jane Apr 2014
Cady crushed
Soulful sunbeam
Modelling moonlight
Bright red scream.

Makeshift Marilyn
Winter wanders
Cavalier cowboys
Don't slow down.

****** valleys
Lightening laser
Taunting temptation
She'll be watching.

Dusted dimes
Matriarchy mothers
Electric evolution
At least pretend.

Sleeping sisters
Brutal brothers
Scoring shots
Smells like you.

Snakes stifled
River rapids
Drowning diseases
Love songs sung.

Their souls;
corrupt.

Unarticulated answers;
lost.

Paradise alley;
forgotten.

Ungrazed lips;
innocence.

© Sia Jane
This is very random I do know! Not sure where it came from.
I also want to say I am trying to keep up with all your poems!!
Apr 2014 · 822
Wandering (lost)
Sia Jane Apr 2014
I often wonder, how long
We spend in, the past
Wandering lost, a space we
Know in all force, even rememberance
I stand, landscapes
With a chill, my spine
The hairs, stand on end
I remain lost, in you
A heart, hollowed
I hate that, I love you
Can't remember, to forget you
Grasped, chest restrained
Capacity for, ache of heart
An inner self, whispers
Let go, the logic of
A situation, shattered
Broken.

Can we fix a broken heart?
Can we forget and let live?
Can we wash blood off hands,
Guilty, convicted criminals?


I scream, I resemble Munch
Painted on canvas, scratching
With claws, red painted nails.

I can't deny
I still....

I'm in love
With
You.

forgive me for I have sinned
you are the inevitably

© Sia Jane
Apr 2014 · 2.3k
Phoenix (from the flames)
Sia Jane Apr 2014
War of the worlds,
                                men bartering money
Dollar bills left abandoned,
                                               blown to smithereens
Battling dusts of torment,
                                            acceptance of surrender
Waging a money war,
                                       business men flee
In the shadows rises,
                                   a fallen angel
Akin to a phoenix,
                                from the ashes
She symbolizes a renewal,
                                             dying in fires
Sparks burning a nest,
                                       immortality supplying coffins
Diabolical legacies of past,
                                             bow & arrow
Punctured wounding broken heart,
                                                          ­   wings disallow flight
Stumbling a splintered hip,
                                               reborn a chance
Of independent determined autonomy,
                                                       ­             la Cuesta Encantada
Fallen at the gates,
                                an enchanted hill
San Simeon seeking redemption,
                                                     ­   death awaits her
Carrying body & soul,
                                       Santa María Maggiore
Of Roman baroque temples,
                                                 small cascading pools
Death releases her body,
                                         the Neptune pool
She floats without dissension,
                                                   sinking in grace
In all her glory,
                           Hearst Castle will
Entomb body & soul,
                                      memories of her

release release release

Absolution.

© Sia Jane
Inspired by Lady Gaga and her G.U.Y an ARTPOP film video.
Mar 2014 · 16.4k
Ophelia drowning
Sia Jane Mar 2014
Dearest Destined Jewel,
                                         Of longest heartfelt yearning, Bestow on thee, Hamlet awaits, Ophelia picking flowers, Magnolia branches speaking, Beautifications of Spring.

Supreme buds of new life,  Magnoliaceae of Queen bees, An enterprise of wonder, Symbolic child's enchanted play, Faeries in flight whisper attractions, Fondness, Les fleurs du mal.

Ample blossoms, Bosoms of delight, Devouring light, Little birds sing, Nestling, Chirping a languishing cacophony, Blissful unawareness, Nature nurture the soul.

A slip then fall, Nearby church bells distract, Into abyss fallen, Elevated body all at once, Floating amidst flora, Drowning, Petticoat woven dress, Resting on fresh valley water, Immersion, No contention, Hamlet awaits.

© Sia Jane
Sorry for the absence and I hope to catch up on all your poems soon!!
Mar 2014 · 2.7k
Ophelia
Sia Jane Mar 2014
She came into her life
A mere stranger of coincidence
Alexander McQueen ivory silk tulle
Empire line gown.
All senses heightened;
She was waiting amidst
The exotic smell of burning
Candle wax.
The scent of a woman clinging
To lustful air, white roses ribboned
Thorns tinting porcelain skin.
She hears the patter, not dislike
A small child coming toward you.
All senses are broken; just a voice
So much power in the echo
Of words spoken with such
Fluidity.
****, he ******* knew that
She was awake, Louboutin steps
Scaring the devil itself; what sin.
Walking through flames,
Burning, hot coals; presence.
Ophelia approaches, a creature
Secure, arms wrapped tight
And smiles at her.
Ophelia speaks to her; lifting her arms
To wrap around her instead.
A gentle hand, to the thigh
A soft caress across silver scars.
The girl feels; inadequate
And yet, forgiven for all she has
Committed; sins of the flesh.
It was only now that, this goddess
Of desire, lust and eternity
Could mark a soul, for she was an
Angel, winged feathers a glow.
She reaches to the empty soul
Challenges her resoluteness
"What can I do to help?"
Eyes welling, the sound of a
Tear, akin to a pin drop
In silence.
In that silence, words formed
Like cloud patterns, shifting
Graceful elegance.
Nothing was heard, all was spoken.
Ophelia stole her heart,
The girl will always be attached
By symbolic resurrections
Of strength,
Spiritual
From
The heart and mind.

© Sia Jane
It's 03.33am
Mar 2014 · 892
fade into you
Sia Jane Mar 2014
her reclusive nature
was
stealing any words
of
inspirational longings
for
she waited for such
hope
of moving herself
to
a place where she
had
a muse that captured
her.

to write is to
free
to write is to
liberate
to write is to
communicate
emotions one cannot
name
the shrinks call it
alexithymia
a fully lost inability
to
form any connection to
oneself.

dizziness stirring a
self
who begins to
fear
waking up from a
deep
slumber in her
bed
than dying to be
taken
from a world she
so
dreads to exist
in.

she sits in the gutters of
despair
looking up to the
stars
they illuminate brightness
yet
the darkness is far
greater
than a single exploding
star
to pacify her emptiness
where
repetition of existence
overflows.

© Sia Jane
Mar 2014 · 555
chant de désespoir
Sia Jane Mar 2014
He may have caught, your stare first,
(Yet each glance she takes, she begs for more of this girl)
A single piece, of time to allow,
(To let her stare, meet this girl)
You could kiss me & see,
(She's not asking for red ruby wine lips)
You don't have to even kiss me, yet
(She wants you both to, capture, a moment in time)
Between your heart & mine
(Oh she offers it so divinely, promise)
I give to you love, I dare say, I can match
(She loves this girl with such depth, & force)
I become a twisted, a punctured heart,
(She's come undone, her walls tumble)
The ribs guarding my heart, break,
(Even if she fights, her mind is in flight
I cannot let go of, all the love I have for you,
(Her heart doesn't care, the risk it is taking)
Even my mind becomes, some what submissive,
(After all this time, she yearns to still call this girls hers)
And even as days & months pass,

I belong

(At least her weakened heart is)
In my hands, knowing I will care
(She will always secure a space)
For it will never be me who lays next to thee,
(A new day dawning, she awakens)
I'm lost and senseless
(She is trusting of you, still)
With, a heart I'm not sure, I can ever take hold,
(For herself to let go, of the fear, she always knew)

That to know pain
Is to know love


© Sia Jane
Typed on my phone with a cracked screen so I apologise for any mistakes ***
Mar 2014 · 676
femme fatale
Sia Jane Mar 2014
I am typing out her love, her life, her worries, her fears.
(As I move, across the board, typing. I hear her.)
Her clouds have formed. Covering. Smothering.
(Her breath feels weak.)

To strengthen is to break, to weaken is to fall.
(Skies are grey & mist surrounds.)
The curtains, open. No light. Butterflies glisten.
(A ray of light appears across the horizon.)

It calls to her. She cannot hear. It pushes against her skin.
(Insistent, for her to hear. Words account for little.)
Voices lost and heard. Spaces form. I see her.
(I wish I could feel her close to me again.)

I sense a distance which cannot be articulated.
(When nothing feels wrong, and yet things don’t feel right.)
In my mind I embrace her. Hold her. Her heart pulsates.
(In threes. I remember. I count.)

One.
               Two.
                                Three.

Over.

One.
  ­             Two.
                               Three.

The repetition is soothing.
Calming.
Surrounding embrace.
I remember.

Yes, I remember.

© Sia Jane
as I have fabulous writers block, this is from the archives when I wrote sporadic "poetry" if that is what I can call it.
Mar 2014 · 1.1k
Song of despair
Sia Jane Mar 2014
Bel Air, Westside
City of Angels
Holmby Hills, Beverly Hills City
A Platinum Triangle.
Violet blossom
Delicacy, fragility
Vivienne's tribute to innocence.
Denim dress, antique pearls
Rays of light, they surround
A sacred halo.
Amidst a divine cloud
Ave-Maria, rosary prayers
Latin promises, confess.
Wandering grace lands
Desert storms, gypsy princess
Migrating birds in flight.

unfinished

Maria sits, blank pages
Oversized cashmere cardigan
Black & white, no words to type.

A writer’s hell,
is writers block.

© Sia Jane
I literally cannot write!
Mar 2014 · 842
Unquiet
Sia Jane Mar 2014
Punctured, she remains bruised.
Looking left, the back of her hand
She begins, to remember that day.
It began with the box, old shoes
Nestled within, lay the excess meds.
It wasn't planned, she was certain.
Sitting on the bathroom floor, she opens
A cupboard where, the box kept
A thousand magic smarties, pink.
They were sugar coated, laughing
She thought about how, her heart
Her very soul, its sadness
So often wrapped a bow around,
Her hurt & pain, beneath the skin,
The surface, oh such depths of despair.
No one ever knew, the girl behind,
A red ruby lipped smile.
She took the box, a chipped mug
Drinking morning tea, phone quiet
This was 2010, pre iPhone for her
She simply text and dialled, hello.
Without any force, she started to count
One, two, three, as easy as,
This cup of tea beside her thigh,
No thoughts raced, no fixed grounding
Just the addiction to take one more.
And as the pills, rattled,
She began to feel the rattle within.
Handfuls, of the very drug
That was intended, to calm her
In these moments,
And yet,
She was calm, and she doesn't recall
A single tear.
Regular lunch break checks,
Mother and father calling,
A call to a psychiatrist, busy in clinic.
It wasn't a cry, it was to ask,
Why should I stop Jaya?
Mothers maybe know too much
And as quickly as I put,
The phone down, it rings.
By this point I'm sedated, uncompromising and incomprehensible,
I am told I slurred and denied all.
I recall a panicked voice and a mother,
Refusing to put the phone down.
I remember a bang on the front door.
I remember a black Ralph Lauren t'shirt,
My brothers.
And it's all I wore.
Knickers and a t'shirt.
I cowered in a corner of the hall,
Medics and police, and I'm terrified.
A blank search in my brain.
I go into a coma and my only memory is,
Waking in a distant place, plugged up
Machines and monitors beeping
And the soft gentle voice of,
My mother; Rachel!
Her hand so warm,
having held mine all the time,,
I took residence in this,
Hospital
Bed.

I'm alive.

© Sia Jane
I can't sleep so I do apologise of this is disjointed! I'm also on my phone!
Mar 2014 · 1.1k
trashed glass
Sia Jane Mar 2014
drunk on the pavement,
Jeffrey Campbell Lita's,
trashed on ***** bottles,
smashed & abandoned,
an easy blunt,
floating through,
social groups,
turbulence triggers flashbacks,
laughter accustoms a,
pendulum of excessive desires,
swinging to & fro,
battles of wars wage within,
cigarette blunts pierce open *******,
stings & burns,
red yellow ashes spark,
black lingerie,
a new lover,
she's cast away with,
ghosts of past,
scarred.

© Sia Jane
It amazes me that I can find a poem in just one image I find on tumblr!!
Mar 2014 · 645
Let go (of the hate)
Sia Jane Mar 2014
People are thirsty,
thirsty for a sip of,
toxic blood,
no longer thirsty,
for knowledge of,
this world,
all they crave is,
the disruption of,
an already disjointed,
fallen space,
that they believe,
keeps them alive,
telling tales & lies of,
lost love filtering through,
hate & pain,
cutting like a knife,
another blow to the,
back & heart,
promising red roses,
that have thorns that,
don't shed a blood,
as deep as a dagger,
mutilated body,
resting in a place,
fleeing for safety,
adolescence & youth,
impart wisdom unlived,
nonsensical rumors,
how you dig,
your very own grave,
karma & revenge,
will eventually find,
your empty mind,
for you never took care,
to lose her mind,
monsters live inside us,
us & you,
inject her into abyss,
where you taste her blood,
not caring or knowing why,
this soul endlessly,
questions why,
you chose to,
make her die.

© Sia Jane
I love you Stef <3
I am tired of back stabbers hurting those I love without even a second thought to who they are killing with words.
Mar 2014 · 971
surrender
Sia Jane Mar 2014
roses & ivy,
                       grow,
                            s
                               w
                             i          l
                                 r

s.h.i.f.t & CLAW

back bone, bare bones, counting verteb
                                                          ­      r
                                                         ­       a
                                                        ­        e
                                        a  s
spineless,­ no moral c     p
                                  o  m

          North
West­              East
         South

never fond of waking up,
(bare feet, touching cold slate)

cluttered hearts surrender,
(wrists cutting, a fine lullaby)

holding pearls hands closed,
(sea urchins inhabit, a narrow soul)

painted roses en pointe(d) toes,
(thousands of galaxies, offer a million wishes)

tea lights will, guide her home,
and back to, a place she,
is yet, to know.

Life surrenders that,
soul mates,
never,
        DIE.

© Sia Jane
Mar 2014 · 2.8k
She x Love Bug
Sia Jane Mar 2014
Love bug, lady crush, peeking through a midnight sky,
Deep Purple, Smoke on the Water, before a
glimmer in her eye,
90's girl, child stars of, The Disney Club,
Timberlake, Spears, Aguilera,
Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls dominating,
every air wave,
Victoria Beckham, her Parsons inspiration
fashion designer she'll fight her way,
to the top, so much power in her name,
yet even stripped bare, she'd be a star,
her talent to sketch, draw and drape,
falls on knees bent, if only we pray,
to even have an ounce from her display,
I know few like her, love unconditional,
we're the writers seeking solace,
an unforgiving pain,
life taking so much drain,
in the light of day this pain brings forth,
an edge to your art, a masochistic feel,
creating itself a soul untamed.

You write to remember, you sketch your dreams
hopelessness turns to desire,
the dark cloud of youth,
dissipates in the air,
knowing there is a way through,
treachery and despair.

My dear, you may some days,
feel in that gutter trying to,
catch a star,
but today you shine, as bright as
a diamond in this very same sky,
we see across continents,
each night that we pray.

Release the grip, lessen the pull,
fly and fly,
sore heights so high,
you ain't ever coming down.

© Sia Jane
My little love bug, celebrates her birthday today and this little bit of poetry, if we can call it that, is the least I can do. Love you angel <3
Mar 2014 · 325
She x Night
Sia Jane Mar 2014
I wish behind every smile,
there lay a girl,
with a glimmer in,
her pale blue eyes.
She stumbles & stutters,
seeking safety,
in masochistic rhyme,
as wide as an ocean.
I wish behind, this lying mind,
was a fire of life,
one of such freedom,
jest & surrender.
She walks head dropping,
a sky falling,
ghosts speaking,
softly, loudly, softly, loudly.
I wish at the tender age,
of fourteen, they
culled me, along,
with all those mad cows.
She walks knowing she is,
unfed & scared,
she won't turn to see
another of her hearts beat.
I wish I could count to ten
taper the madness away,
instead I fall,
holes dug in past despair.
She takes the night,
lets the stars keep her alive,
she follows one North,
walking, walking, remembering, walking.

I cannot account the years of struggle,
the battles internally,
the battle wounds outwardly,
wondering,
if any of this is
meant to be.
I don't even know
who I am
when I am
who I am now.
I feel like a work of art.
Thrown paint, a juxtaposition
of images, smiles & pain,
crazy & manic, & contained & erratic.
I am madness.
And too often, I am too weak,
to break through,
madness itself.
Madness is me, I am madness.
She & I,
compose a morning sky.

© Sia Jane
Mar 2014 · 1.2k
I'll settle for (your lies)
Sia Jane Mar 2014
I'll settle for lies,
shush, hush, don't
let the baby wake.

I'll settle for lies,
as I take my last,
sip of your words.

I'll settle for lies,
as I step through,
the maze of your mind.

I'll settle for your lies,
lay the labyrinth ahead,
losing myself in circles.

I'll settle for your lies,
I seek rebellion from,
the scars you cut into me.

I'll settle for your lies,
let me be, unleash me,
I'm not letting you **** me.

I tell the lies, as I race,
ahead through the streets,
I hear the music playing,
my final funeral request.

I tell the lies, as I race,
through empty alleys,
drug infested waters,
I breath **** in.

I tell the lies, as I race,
telling you what I live
for, no sorrow left even,
in these eyes of mine.

I tell the lies, as I climb
the ladder, to above,
over in a second,
you barely caught a glance,
was that even me?

© Sia Jane
"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

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Mar 2014 · 854
Reunion
Sia Jane Mar 2014
You are not the first,
I loved,
Or even maybe
The last,
(I lie, you're the one)

I want your heart,
To capture,
Your soul, such
Sweet rapture,
(I swear, you can trust in me)

I wait in the spaces,
Distances between,
Land & sea, left
Caged unfree,
(I promise, you set me free)

Maybe we once met,
Birthday parties,
Smiling & laughing, kids
Skating parks,
(Remember how you saved me)

You sent me a smile,
Guiding me,
Holding my hand, you
Lifted me,
(Did I even thank you)

Always admiring your,
Relentless determination,
A mere stranger, who
You loved,
(I love you more)

I know this is past,
Imagined insane,
Know you now, my
Clambering mind,
(Are you just a dream)

I fell in love with you,
First sight,
No turning back, a
Massive attack,
(Did we meet at another time)

To find you back in,
My sight,
That first night, a
Drawing mind,
(Dreamscape, dreamscape, dreamscape)

You are all that I,
Dream of,
Every single night, when
You're quiet,
(Let it be, let it be, let it be)

You are all that matters to me,
as honest as the words I type,
sing,
or write.
I don't ever want to see,
you out of sight.
You seem so familiar,
a stranger set alight,
I see from afar,
someone known in flight.

© Sia Jane
"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

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Mar 2014 · 1.4k
Lolita
Sia Jane Mar 2014
You only told me, at the tender age of three,
Just how beautiful this very life
Could be.
That as a young girl, a child let go,
I could run so freely, through
Fields of fruit trees, days of May
Owls howling, despite, such clear
Daylight.
Birds chirping, how they fight for
A place,
Among the cacophony of,
Sounds, dogs barking, cats purring,
A gentle breeze.
Spring is slowly, about to fall
Yellow daffodils, purple crocus,
Even a magnolia begins to find, flight.
The moles this garden so, loves
To hate, a little soft face, rising
From the ground, a cat
In sight, waiting for just one catch.
The days are longer, nights colder,
Stars protecting a moon that beams,
In such clear sight, a blackout in
The sky.
The sun sets, slowly and all at once,
The way I described how,
Depression felt, so slowly that
You don’t notice, and suddenly,
Like the shining sun, you are gone.
Squirrels play, Oak trees surround me,
as I ponder the age, and decades that
they have stood so firm, asking myself,
what secrets do they hold, who do they share
the tales of this Hamlet I call home, with.
Home, a place I could never,
Dismiss,
Without my heart, remaining
On the concrete slabs I walk,
Bare feet on grass, still carrying
Morning dew.
My soul a bird’s song, in love forever,
A practice of freedom, an entity oh
So rare, in a world so stripped,
Of the essentials of life.
Saving myself, from the roller coaster
Of life,
I am brought closer, to all the things,
That matter, as I continue to believe
We will be in love forever.
Clouds marry, then within a glance
Of an eye, fade, a puff of smoke,
Only blue skies, an orange tinted
Light.
Sins forgiven, seeking redemption,
****** sits,
In the dim sunshine, oh
Yes,
I know, we will be
In
Love forever.

© Sia Jane
"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

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Mar 2014 · 676
Hidden (she)
Sia Jane Mar 2014
Life had stained her
a reflection upon,
a broken glass mirror
naked, only butterflies
cover my *******
love hearts & roses,
form tattoos across,
around, my spine
decorating this bare
form, one alive, one a ghost
she's my best friend,
writing poetry together
she teaches me Spanish,
the work of Pablo Neruda
on the kitchen sideboards,
shed of our black leather
pencil skirts,
you played, so seductively
with the long waves
in my blonde sun tinted hair,
painting nails, spring baby blu
you rip pages of books, black & white
newspaper prints of unicorns,
they are playing with a younger self,
moi, je fais de la bicyclette,
les fleurs, a milliners gift box
baskets filled with,
shells from the sea shore
to which we always travel
la lune et le soleil,
knowing three things can
never remain hidden; the sun, the moon,
& my truth (not yours)
for that should be me,
not you.

© Sia Jane
Twenty word challenge again <3

"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

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Feb 2014 · 2.3k
pink cotton candy
Sia Jane Feb 2014
not here, here, here

inside, outside, her head
bath tub, bubbles shaped
like balloons, rising
in the air,
cut open, she
precludes the secret nature
of her love,

he loved, her
every ballet she danced
pink fur, a butterfly moving,
on tips of toes,
tripping the light, en pointe
painted pale lips,
winged eyeliner, corset
silk, golden embellished,
Lacroix,
feathered tutu, romantic
Tchaikovsky's compositions,
faery tale ballets,
Swan Lake, Paris Opéra
Odette, a sorcerer's curse
falling to her fate, black
later, taxi rides home, kissing
moonlight, bedroom laughter,

KNOCK

not here, here, here

the bathroom door,
she kisses away,
her melancholy madness,
his voice; *Laurier...

her soul, punctured
by her lover...

not here, here, here

© Sia Jane
Another twenty word challenge! So much fun!

"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

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Feb 2014 · 616
Forbidden (temple)
Sia Jane Feb 2014
The man named Susa

Susa called her *strong
just now
Her father whispered to the girl
Telling her of how he had asked
After his daughter, saying
"I can tell how strong she is."
Her father was given no
Further explanation for this
Susa is Buddhist, deeply impressed
By the girls knowledge of his
Own country religion culture
"You seem to know so much!"
Of course the girl replied, smiling
She explained her own encounters
With spiritualism meditation prayer
Susa proceeded, stories of his family
How he lived, his encounter yesterday
"It was the birthday of the trees."
The girl caught her breath
At the respect one man could have
For all that co exists around him
A juxtaposition of nature and commercial
Scarcity of wealth, yet such privilege
Susa, wrapping a sarong around the girl speaks again
"Everyone wants to know your name!"
The girl seemed sought after, intriguing, a western wonder
She is politely interrupted by an elder
Susa speaks, translating with ease
"This man was asking if you were English."
The girl, her father returning, both nod

Finally, they take their steps into the temple
Susa explains the blessings of the
Holy Water and it' offerings
"You can see this girl pray, place her head under the water"
Nightmares migraine nervous system
All promised to be cured by such

The secret only known between the girl
And the man
Is that the girl is shedding lining
Perhaps the biggest sin
Resisting entrance to the Holy Temple
Of this magical landscape
Pushed aside, alone she waits

Pondering why either with child
Or without
No woman of such is allowed?

© Sia Jane
Just for reference, women who are either on their monthly period, pregnant or have given birth in the past six weeks, are asked not to enter the Sacred Temples.
It is a respectful etiquette to be honest.
I chose to be honest, and respect this etiquette without offence, despite the contradiction to its offerings.

"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

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Feb 2014 · 1.7k
Meet me in Paris
Sia Jane Feb 2014
Tell me your secrets tell me a tale of centuries passed where you recall meeting at what we called the wrong time what if maybe years from now I lift my head tilted towards the sound of a barista clearing the table where you then sit where you are only focused on a poodle called Gaillard who is chocolate brown groomed to perfection with a winter coat matching the faux fur wrapped around your neck as winter has fallen no bleakness just crystal skies iced cobbled pavements too cold for the puppy with big brown eyes whimpering for a seat on a warm lap of an owner feeding treats comfort provided by the attentive barista returning from the inside of a busy café serving hot fresh expresso drifting smells across untouched air toward me who orders another chocolat chaud arriving with a macaroon an unmarked napkin to which I write "Tu me manque" standing I walk to her table Gaillard remembering my scent lifts himself to my chest as I lay the note down where the one who'd be gone so long whispered back sweeping her hair to the side, "Tu me manque plus"
simultaneously they say; "I knew I'd meet you again someday..." a smile from both, "in Paris," with a giggle a caress a simple holding of the hand.

© Sia Jane
"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd is available via Amazon
My new poetry anthology :))))
"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

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Feb 2014 · 1.1k
Pack of Cards
Sia Jane Feb 2014
throw me your Pacifier
drop me a Heart
a packet of Jokers
flutter, as Jacks
queens & kings Fall
laughing in Jest
wanton stares of Rapture
plea for my Muse
she keeps the Sluth
from this game, of Cards
don't leave me Loose
craving my Queen
a charmed Epochal
smitten twice, Bitten
you be the One
captured me First
classic queen of Hearts
painting roses Red
lost in your Wonderland

© Sia Jane
"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd is available via Amazon
My new poetry anthology :))))

"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

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Feb 2014 · 1.3k
Fruit (forbidden)
Sia Jane Feb 2014
Find me Medusa, wrap her
snakes around my waist,
they nestle into, the buzzard bee,
form skulls, refusing my escape
hornets haven,
seeing the, ringlets form, I
am reminded of those,
serpents you took from,
me
all for your own gain, shame,
pass me the apple, tainted
love to wish upon despicable
me
my head caught, clouded
feathers fuss, entwine with
those branches carrying,
devils food, just one crunch of
that apple, killing
me
bearing forbidden fruit, exorcise
the red demon, succulent, free
shoot me with, those golden
spun, oppressed, distressed,
eyes of an angel, wilting within
me
or am I the, enslaved
a figment of myself, I
view daily, without, marking
my skin, to know I am
alive, is this
me
rosary beads, pray to a,
Holy Spirit, keep the memory
form a rosette
a noose,
around my neck.

© Sia Jane
Four whole days of not writing and I feel like I have forgotten!!!
Been celebrating the launch of "Wanderlust" which you can find here:
http://www.amazon.com/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1393265945&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd
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