THROUGH A DOGS EYES.

I am old and tired now and my duty on this planet is almost finished.
It seems only a fleeting moment again that I was a puppy.
I was so lucky that I met him.

It was a sunny summer day I was huddled in a ball of fur with six other puppies.
A sign outside the stoop said Golden's for sale no papers.
He drove up in his sports car and walked to the stoop where we were.
He had kind eyes and dogs have the ability  to see the soul through the eyes of others and it was a good soul.

Every dog knows they are living a karma that they must be the best they can be as a dog and one day they would be born as a human child.  This is common sense to a dog.

I fought my way to the front of the puppy heap. And he picked me up I could smell the kindness pouring out from his skin.
This one he said as I licked his face this one is the one I want.
He named me Niko after the famous scientists nikola Tesla.  My human soulmate was  a science teacher at the high school.

He took me everywhere I never was left at home but sat quietly  next to his desk as he instructed the children in his class.
At break time the children would play with me we ran and chased sticks and *****.  I was so happy.
At night I slept at the foot of his bed it was my duty to protect  him.

To say that we loved each other  was a gross understatement we sat together at night and watched television together that's where I learned all about human culture.  Animal planet was my favorite  program and I watched it every day.
It was perfect perhaps too perfect to last I was fully grown now a big golden retriever.
It changed that morning  we went to school as always.
I slept beside his desk and the sound of his voice was comforting and safe.
Then she came into the room she was young and pretty  in a human kind of way.
He smiled at her and they talked about teaching methods and school politics.  I could smell her perfume and pheromones pungent in the air.
I tried to get his attention to take me out but he was fixated on her.
The shop talk took a back seat and dinner dates took it's place.

After that she was always around she sat on the sofa on my spot and I tried to let her know she was not welcome here this was my seat and he was mine. She should know I would never share him. But she got to me patting my head kissing my crown.  Your so pretty Niko she purred.
But she took my place on the bed as well and they put me out of the room as they wrestled on the sleeping spot. I heard strange noises and laughter as I waited outside the door.
Later I was allowed  back in the room it was full of odors of humans but it was comforting..  We were a family together him her and me their dog friend.  Soon I loved her as much as him.
I could not wait for her to kiss my head and rub my tummy.

Then just as I was getting  settled  in to my new arrangement  it changed again.
I watched her rubbing her belly like she did with mine.  And there was a roundness to it. I could smell the aroma of another human being put together inside her.  And I knew it meant changes to our life.
Later as her belly became  rounder and she rested on the sofa I saw it Move the new human was stirring  inside her.
Oh Niko come here it's alright she  sang.
I wandered over put your head here sweetheart patting her belly.
I rested my big head on her tummy.
Then I felt the new human kick me I nearly fell off the sofa.  She felt my fear and smiled oh Niko it's just the baby letting us know it is alright.

In the middle of the night a few weeks later they rushed out of the door and car started and screeched its tires and they never took me with them.  
A day later they came home Carrying the new human in their arms.
I was curious  and later she called me Niko come and meet Angel
I entered the bedroom and she was holding the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
I was afraid that I would love her if I looked too long
but it was too late I already  knew that I did.

The next few years were the best years of my life.we did everything as a family, my beautiful family my purpose in life to love and protect them all
Angel grew to ten and I was getting  old but we were inseparable I was hugged every time she left the house.  And I worshipped her.

Then her mom was unwell she was crying with headaches always swallowing things out of a little  bottle they never wrestled on the sleeping place or made their happy sounds.  I was worried.
A while later she was doing dishes and fainted on the floor I rushed to her and liked her face until she woke up.

Then I cursed the limitations of being a dog my big flappy tongue  that could  not let me Enunciate words like a human flapped in uselessness as only whines and barks came out.
I could smell the sickness in her head it had an odor or rotting vegetation faint and constantly there I knew it it was bad it was the sickness.
I stayed by her side all though the sickness even seen she lost her hair I poured my love to her.
I saw my owner crying holding angel telling her they were losing her.
They Needed me more than ever now and for sure I must stay here with them even though my time was near I had my duty to fulfill for my karma as a dog. It was my purpose for being.
It was springtime when she left us I was sat next to her bed as her hand was resting on my old head I felt it lighten and slip from me and I knew  ...i knew.
I barked quietly and they came up and wept.

A year later
I was losing  my sight my eyes were fuzzy and I did not see things very well.
The day I wandered into the road as a car hit me I knew it was my fault my time and I knew my duty in my dog karma had been completed faithfully  and I was ready for my next journey with my soul.
Angel rushed out and held my head I looked into her beautiful  face
Don't die stay with me she wept I gave her my last look with her memory  fixed in my soul ready to live forever as souls do and I would see her in my dreams in my next life.

Eight years later
My owner had moved to New England as principal to a.prestigious academy.
Angel had grown into a beautiful  young woman.
She was training as a caregiver and working for the winter break at the orphanage in the nearby blue collar town
The children were mostly  from poor families.
Her dad picked her up and dropped her off at work.
And as he waited in the yard of the institution he saw a little boy of about 8 years of age.
He had beautiful  long Sandy hair and deep dark eyes.
Angel came out ready to go Home and saw her father walking over to the boy.
They looked into each others eyes and saw deep into their souls a familiar place that he recognized
The nurse from the orphanage joined them and said he's been with us for four years since his parents were killed in a car accident. He has never spoken a word since being here.

Angel said what is your name honey he lifted his face and looked at the lovely young woman and said softly my name is Nicholas but you can call me Niko.

Five years later
Niko had been formally  adopted and was turning into a fine young man
All was well in their world's
And just like clouds that change shape
Their family changed shape once more and peace reigned in their lives.
Which as all dogs are born knowing is just  Karma so you can be born again one day into something  much much better.
The end

Dark thoughts come flying in like a storm.
The way the wind takes me away.
The way the lightning paralyzes me.
I watch the darkness crawl into my arms,
knowing that they're only here to bring harm.
I wish I can go back to my happiest days,
when I never felt pain or darkness haunt my dreams or my soul.

Where are the stars that used to guide me?
They used to shine through my eyes,
telling me that I'm never alone.
They seem to move on, forgotten me.

I overthink too much,
that it's the end.
I don't know why I let it dig into me.
Small things become big things.
I always hoped that one day someone will embrace me into their loving arms.
Understand every dark thought coursing through my mind.
Feel my heart through their ears.
Face the reality that I'm not perfect.

I'm not a robot built through metal.
I sometimes bottle up myself,
I sometimes smile like I'm okay, but sometimes I'm not.
I can feel weak, but I know I'm strong.
I fought through the storm before,
I know what it feels like to want to give up.
It's such a strong urge, but I don't give in.

Because I have people counting on me, looking up at me, admire me of who I am.
I'm a good person for helping others.
I let them know that their not alone,
They let me know that I'm not alone.
Sticks and stones won't break our bones.
We are headstrong!

~Niko