There's a book of saints that has been touched by my fingerprints
But do not worry, it has not been sought open
Not by me
Or any

There's a book of saints and the others have stolen it from me
Translated it in a language that's is unknown to me
That is foreign
One that is on the tip of my tongue but it won't fall from me
Words like that do not belong in a mouth like mine anyway

I've left the notion of rationally a long time ago
Why reason with a stone?
When it will only be used against you as a weapon
The only breath of fresh air I have is my own
And it's dangerously decaying

Flowers bloom in my bedroom
But wilter in my closet
You see sunlight can not find its way in there
And I can't pry it open with my hands
Because every time I try they become flowers

But they are so beautiful
Executes everything so stunningly
That they leave traces of fairy dust
They are the most pleasant thing to see
It makes me want to shower them in gold
Show the world that not all I do is ugly
Or is unnatural

Because isn't it such a nature thing to do?
Bloom in the darkest of places

And isn't it funny?
How choices can be like flowers
Be alive so unapologetic-like
Except they are so fragile
Yet so elegant
Maybe it's morbid for me to compare myself to a flower
Since we all know what happens when winter comes
And I live in a vicious cycle of coldness

Nonetheless, there is no stopping my beating heart when the sun comes
Nor when the rain pours over my love
Drowning me in lavender

Do not worry I have seen what floods can do to fields of flowers
How they swallow up any life and destroy it
Send it to their death without a second thought,
There is horror in this world
That has been left to swim unchecked in these prairies for too long
Ignored and said to be harmless
Ignored when they drowned my fields of violets

So no I will not grow into a rose
I wish for you to follow me with this
Yet words to teach you my language are untranslatable
There's is nothing I can compare to the feeling of making a home out of one outfit
Nothing to make you understand when I say I'm okay I don't need to change
There are no words to transcribe the feeling of being content with your body
And what it can bloom

Blood and lipstick femininity
My heels crack concrete
Redder than wine
Smile in the corner
Snarl along the fangs
I bite what’s mine to claim it
Eat it whole and raw
Black dress, fiery hair
Hips like an empress
I know you think you’re king
Baby, I’m a lioness
You’ll eat what I hunt
Lick the gore from my lips
My slavering red mouth
My feminine blood and lipstick

A smooth head tilt toward the sidewalk,
he gently gestures for us to cross
When ignored, he snaps a bent leg into place
as naturally as he's attracted to men
soft, intelligent eyes glinting through his rainbow helmet

His cycle stutters like he did when asking Jason out,
breathing out life like he breathed out "I love you",
a mustang anxious to rear up and gallop
He soothes the handlebars with steady palms,
then unleashes his bike's power
as soon as we're safe
on the other side,

off to meet up at a romantic café
with a man named Peter Ryde.

shoulder to shoulder
psst, hey, see the girl
next to you?
you should hold her

bolder and bolder,
like a butch boulder,
they smile and
glance at my lips.

sweet hugs and
warmness touch and
talk of baking,
future plans.

we'll make all the
rainbow cupcakes.

get all the
genderless clothing.

one look
is not a future
written in ink,
but here's hoping.

I want to cut my hair
I don't want to cut my hair

It weighs me down
drags me along the
trenches of gender stereotypes

People look at me,
think,
"That's a girl."
And I'll turn the color
of diluted self-harm blood; pink.
Maybe I'll give
Being androgynous
a whirl.

It gets all knotty
I keep it in a dull, bland ponytail
I don't think it deserves more
Nor I

But if I cut it,
I'll still be in the stereotype

Here,
Another Queer!
Look there,
At their hair!
Probably gay,
By the way!

And what if I look stupid besides?