"I want a lifetime
of waking up to you
hogging the blankets,
and holding you on
nights where you panic.

I'm not good with words,
not like you are.

but I want to fight
for what we have.

I want to stand by you
while we remind ourselves
why we got together
in the first place.

I'm sure of what
my life needs now.

it needs the girl
who hopped onto
the back of my bike
like it was nothing,

who didn't know
that one day soon
it would be everything.

it needs the girl who
stopped me and told me that
she wasn't ready to use
those three words,

but then yelled
'I love you'
while riding me not
too many nights after.

great timing,
by the way.

it needs the girl
who used words
to turn her pain
into a message
about surviving.

I could stare at you
for hours and still
be amazed years later
that I met someone
so beautiful.

luckily, you remind
me to stop staring
and to keep my eyes
on the road.

because of you,
we only crashed once.

I am madly
in love with you

and I want this
to be forever."



I reread this note
every night when
you're working late.

you're much better
with words than
you think you are.
you must be,

because when you
handed me this
and asked me
to marry you,

I didn't hesitate
before I said "yes."

I think about my daughter
awake at 3am, crying silently
over some boy who just
broke her heart.

I think about my daughter
who, with shaky hands,
comes to me sobbing,
begging me to love her
even if she falls in love
with another girl.

I think about my daughter
feeling like she's alone.
she doesn't talk to me
because maybe I'm
stuck late at work or
maybe I'm tired after
such a long day, but
for whatever reason,
I'm not there.

I think about my daughter
pulling up her sleeves
as she walks by me.
maybe I notice, but
I don't say anything.

maybe I just don't
know what to say.
or maybe I don't notice.

I think about my daughter
and how she's going to be
stuck raising her siblings
if I have any more children.

she'll be raising my children,
who she didn't choose to have,
because I'm not there.

she'll be tired and sad,
living her life the same
way that her siblings did
when she was young.



I think about my daughter,
who might exist one day,
growing up how I did
and feeling how I felt.

I think about my daughter
and I promise her that
she will never be alone.
I promise her that
I will always be there.

I promise myself that
one day, if I bring a
daughter into this world,
I will always be there.



I will break this cycle.
I will show her that
history doesn't always
have to repeat itself.

I will love my daughter
and she will know that I do.
she will never feel unloved.

I will be the mother
that I never got to have.