On the verge of crying
On the verge of dying
But its okay
I'll just smile it off anyway

A smile is my natural mask

I feel as though Im in a cage
The bars are made of fire
Trying to avoid the flames

Too afraid to get burnt
Even though I so desperately want to get free.

People who are cruel make me feel ill
Do you get anything out of beating that poor soul?
Do you feel better now for taking advantage of a drunk girl?

You should feel sick to your stomach
Because you if you are content with being abusive
Then you are content with being a **monster

I need to sleep
I close my eyes and try
But the thoughts keep dragging me back

The thoughts keep me wide awake
They haunt me
They taunt me
They tease me
They seize me

If I were to name the thoughts
I would need to know what to call an awake nightmare.

Reminded of old days
Past days
The days where you were constantly on my mind
All the time

Its strange how so much can change in a day
Its weird how we used to be closer than ever but now I feel as though we are just friendly strangers

I trusted you with my life
But now I doubt you would even try

Sometimes I think that it wouldn't matter to you if I was dead

It wouldn't surprise me

Sad how I would do anything to help you
I would risk my life for you

Now I'm not saying I love you
I'm just saying I care for you
As a friend
As someone who saw and knew what no one else did

Its just sad how I'm almost certain you don't feel the same way too. ✳

In another life I swear I would've been a chronic drug addict