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14.2k · Aug 2014
She introduced herself, as
Batted her lashes not to be flirtatious ,
But to hide that her eyes were wet.
All around me were blurred, but beautiful faces.
Yet, my eyes only focused on hers
The first that I noticed.

When I bought my first camera,
From that sales-man down in Alabama.
And he taught me how to use it,
He said, "see here son, if I was to take your picture I'd set this camera here on portrait.
But if I took a picture of that pretty little girl 'cross the road"
he said with a smirk
"I'd have to set this here camera on Firework"

It's funny how memories work.
I think of that man now, of his coffee colored skin and straw hat.
I never thought I'd need to know any of that.
but right here and now I set that camera to sunset.
raise it to my eye
And take a picture of
As if she were a colorful sky.
and that's it.
some people deserve more than a portrait.

And I know, I'm going to take her to a dark room.
And see what develops, of her negatives.
But first, I want to hear all about her crazy relatives.
Who gives her, her beauty?
where's she take her dog to groom?
The poodle on her leash is a cutie.
and what does she doodle on her notebooks?
stars or hearts or sugar skulls....
Does she know she's caught me on her fishin' hook?
What's she think of me, I'm sure I look dull.
Why are her teary eyes so full, About to overflow.
There were so many things I wanted to know....
before I took her to a dark room.
But it happened
And all I found in the picture that developed was gloom.
I realized I was her first.
And the best night of my life became my worst.
because I took something from her she didn't want to give.
But I just didn't know that she wouldn't want to live.
Keep reading, this ends beautifully.
beautifully like a sunset ends a day.
But, you have to believe me when I say that's not nearly as beautifully
As Sunset ends my hopes and dreams.
How she ended her own life
With pretty little pink pills.
gripped in her hand they found a picture of me.
And now I know, Sunsets are all about Beautiful Endings.
It's funny how memories work

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
10.6k · Aug 2014
You had me hooked,
When you asked to cook for me.
But you seasoned my food  with poison ivy.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
9.9k · Aug 2014
Puzzle Piece
When I asked you to fix me,
You told me I wasn't broken.
But, let this soak in.
I just wanted to know,
If i was still a pretty enough picture to be worth, agonizing over a puzzle.
Even when it's a struggle.
And you have to nuzzle each piece into place,
Kissing the pieces bent out of shape,
Searching for pieces gone missing,
But you can't make a raisin back into a grape.
Yes, I Remember your middle name
And who says we can't celebrate failure?
Don't be sad, we tried, we tried.
When you write your story in the sand it washes away with the tide.
It isn't our fault.
We may have cut ourselves open, But we didn't ask for the salt in our
Can I still say "we"?
I guess you're kind of done with me.
I don't blame you, Puzzles are frustrating.
they're a tease.
Please, tell me I haven't lost the most important piece.
Tell me I haven't lost

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
3.3k · Aug 2014
Life In The Closet
Is it nice inside your closet?
Do you have enough room?
Listen, you can talk to me. I have secrets too.

Do you enjoy Life inside your Closet?
And can you call it Home?
Maybe, you'd like to get out.
Visit Jamaica, Paris, Rome?
You know, I wouldn't let you travel alone.

Are you afraid of your parents?
or the judgement of your peers?
Afraid your deep dark secret might spill out after a few beers?

Don't want to ruin your reputation?
with what? The truth?
Scared of Confrontation?
Sweetie, don't waste your youth.

© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn
come out of the closet, no matter what you're in there for.
the People in your life deserve to know the 'real' you
because you are wonderful!
2.2k · Sep 2014
Run Away To Join The Circus
Knock Knock Knock
On my trailer door.
More work to be done, I'm too sore and too tired to do more.
A little young lady stood there, her face painted white.
What was she doing out here in the middle of the night?
Long Teal hair framed her face.
but why was she here, she's a little out of place.
Pink hearts were painted on her cheek bones.
I invited her in
it was stupid.
I was feeling so alone.

"How do I join the circus?"
she asked.

"Well you already look the part"
I said gesturing at her Pink face paint hearts
"How old are you little Miss?"

"Seventeen today"

"Are you serious about this?"

"Yes, Sir I mean business, okay?"

"Are you aware you're under age?"

"Who else but the circus would take a runaway?"

"I bet your parents are missing you."

"Yes, I'm sure I'm greatly missed, that much is true."

"Then what brings you here?'"

"I want to join the circus haven't I made that clear?"

"Why would you want to be here and scoop elephant dung? Look at you, Under all the make up you're most likely beautiful and Gosh, you're so young."

she wrapped her arms around me I was breathless from how tightly she clung.

"Mam, what are you doing"

"listening to your heartbeat."

"what's it sound like?"

"Like life, it sounds like life. I'd give anything to feel alive."

"What's wrong with your life what about your family and your friends?"

"I'm misunderstood by them, and the torture never ends. I know it sounds funny since I'm dressed like a clown. But that's all I've ever been to anyone. A joke, never taken seriously. Maybe they were Right. Because for me, being a joke just comes so easily."

"come on lets wash your face off, Let me see the real you."

She wouldn't stop holding me she said, "I just want to feel you."

I shook her off and took her hand, led her to the sink. In a strange way this little lady felt like some sort of missing link.

"What makes your heart beat?"
She asked as I was washing off her mask.

"What a peculiar question for you to ask."

"It's just my heart keeps beating, but for no one. I have no one."

I layed down the rag when I was done.
her beauty was unbelievable.
She was God's masterpiece and I was his scribble.

"I don't know what my heart beats for.
But I know it's skipping beats for you Mi Amor."

"So you'll let me stay here? You'll let me be a circus clown."

I tilted up her chin so she'd stop looking down.
"I'm not denying you the fact you make the birds in my rib cage sing.
But, listen to me. you need to go on home now Darling."

"What's that? I've had many houses but never a home.
Please, I'm begging you don't make me go.
I'm all alone
I ran away to join the circus don't you understand?"

I tried to calm her down as I took her by the hand.
"Cant you see that this is wrong? You've run away to join the circus but you don't belong here.
You've runaway to join the circus
But you're not a clown my dear.
I understand that you've run away and your not looking back.
You've run away to join the circus.
How about, instead, you run away with me. We'll follow the train tracks. It will come easily."

We've made a life for ourselves now, one not run by fear.
But every night I wash off her make up and remind her.
"You're not a clown my Dear"

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
What did your childhood sound like?

Did it sound like  a crowd cheering when you scored the winning point?  Or, the sound of your friend teaching you to roll a joint. The sound of sirens.  And it feels so right to be doing things wrong. The sound of the engine revving.  Or, the sound of a car radio blasting a new rap song about violence. Or, coming home to the sound of silence, because nobody's there. Or, the sound of the raspy voices in your head when you think nobody cares. Or, the sound of gunshots at nighttime that are to close for comfort. So you text all your friends to make sure no one is hurt.  Or, the sound of the school bell, The sound your feet make when you run out of the building like you're running from Hell, thinking who am I kidding i'll never be good enough.  Or, the sound of an envelope tearing open with your grade card inside. watching all of the color drain from your Dad's face including his pride. Or, the sound of him yelling, telling you that you're weak when he sees that first tear drop roll down your cheek. Or, the sound of your conscience calling you fat. Yeah, there's that. The sound of your stomach growling with hunger when you refuse to eat. " Jeez, you're so FAT you can't even see your feet ."

What did your childhood sound like?

Did it sound  like sticks held by police destroying your families poppy field? The sound of  your mom trying to silence your brother and sister when they squealed. All you want is to end all this pandemonium. What's even so wrong with *****? your whole family is addicted. But everyone was. There's nothing really to be convicted of. even the snakes and mice are addicts. does that mean the animals are also convicts? not to mention, where your from it's used as medicine. The sound of a Marine holding a gun as big as a machine saying it's just routine as he scans your fathers eye so he's easier to identify. He's just an ordinary Afghan. I'ts not like he's a Mad Man, You think. then you feel your heart start to sink to the pit of your stomach. As all of a sudden,  You hear the sound of you family crying. and you're watching your Father dying in front of you. killed, by Insurgents. An obvious divergence of opinions. As you wonder how they could even make that decision to take your Fathers life, right in front of his children and Wife. the sound of your stomach growling with hunger. any found food goes to your siblings because they're younger. the Poppies were your only income. You never cared about money, now you'd do anything to earn some. The sound of Marines teaching you to grow wheat instead. It's not the same but it's something to eat so you don't wind up dead.

No matter what your childhood sounded like, you're more then the things you've heard. no matter where you are in the world, you're not stuck there you're as free as a bird. No matter what you've been through, You're a survivor. Never give up, you were born a fighter. So, before you make judgmental misconceptions, remember there are no exceptions. It doesn't really matter what for, everyone you know is battling their own war.
© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn
1.8k · Aug 2014
Knock Knock Jokes Aren't funny when There's nobody there.
Actually, Nothing is funny when no one's there to care.
when your sense of humor washes down the drain.
there's nothing left to feel but numbness and pain.
I'ts been an eternity since the landscape of my face has had this much rain.
My cheeks have been so dry.
I was self-taught not to cry.
I'm understanding now, why a drought was called The Great Depression.
Depression, Not a direction I want to go.
But you wouldn't know I'm there.
That's how it works, Depression.
You know, it goes so much deeper than a ****** expression.
It's not so much easy to hide it , as it is you get good at it.
But no matter how long-lived the drought,
What I would be more worried about,
Is the ground being so dry it's lost the ability to absorb the rain.
Have you ever seen it rain after a dry-spell?
the raindrops plop to the ground and swell on the surface, not soaking in.
I don't know where to begin,
They told me I'd feel better if I cried and "let it out"
But, I think they know, it  takes more than that to end a drought.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1.8k · Aug 2014
Maybe, you didn't want to raise me in poverty.
But, sitting around waiting to win the lottery is not my idea of trying.
I know it's hard to understand when you're to busy crying.
What did I do that was so wrong?
I wanted to cry, but had to be strong.
And I hope one day it hits you, that I will never forgive you.
I guess you just don't know how much it hurt.
Pants always to big, and to small were my shirts.
Hair unwashed, face covered in dirt.
You didn't even care just lied said you were unaware. you said you had no clue of what he continued to do.
And you, you stayed his slave.
But not I, I was brave.
© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn
1.8k · Sep 2014
Frozen Knit Gloves
I take off my coat and stomp the snow off my shoes.
Trip over the rug and instantly bruise.
Glance up at the stack of medical bills, next to the various bottles of pills.
Crawl into bed to drift away.
Ready to escape another horrid day.
and right when conciseness started to vanish.
There's a knock on the door,
A little Spanish girl I'd never seen before.
"Sorry, wrong house."
She says in a heavy accent.
I notice her knit gloves are frozen
On her hands, made perfectly for imprints in cement.
And I wonder
If she ever made art with her hand prints when she was a kid,
I don't know, maybe she was better than that.
But for some reason, I want her to make me one of those hand print crafts.
So I say, "But this house has a fireplace, come on in."
She steps inside and laughs.
I pull the frozen knit gloves off her tiny cold hands. and breath into them to make them warm.
My stomachs butterflies are flying in swarms.
Then she sees the the pills and asks "what are all these?"
My heart sinks
"Don't worry about it, just forget it...please"
Her eyes drop and get wide when she sees the bruise on my knee.
And for the first time she really sees me.
I know how she must feel.
getting in on the short end of a sick deal.
Or maybe she can't believe that it's real.
she just pulls up her sleeve, and shows me her wrist.
A hospital bracelet with bold type reading flight risk
I start to tell her she needs to go back.
And feel my cheek turning red from her slap
she says "I'm sorry, Just don't make me go..Nobody want's to die alone."
I don't know if it was the needy look in her eye,
Or the helplessness in her tone.
But you should know that
She didn't die alone.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
Another story from a male's perceptive.
1.7k · Aug 2014
Dream Catcher
When we were kids, I'd leave my window open,

So you could crawl into my bed.

Keep me company,

And direct the dreams in my young head.

But I had to board my window shut.

Yet, you still direct my dreams, somewhat.

So I made a dream catcher.

And trained a deadly spider to spin a web inside her,

As her Dream Catching net.

To stop the deadly dream's you inspire.

And so it went.

But now, I miss the nightmares.

For at least, in them, I could admire you for being there.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1.5k · Aug 2014
Just, Tired.
I'm tired.
tired of being sad
tired, of the things we said,
we'd never do, but then we did.
tired of the f l a s h b a c k s, from when I was a kid.
And Jeez, I'm tired, of hearing "I'm Sorry"
especially in my own voice.
I'd live without apologies.
If it were my own choice.
I'm just tired,
tired of you.
tired of being used.
tired of bleeding out.
tired of being bruised.
Just tired.
of laughing without being amused.
tired of fake smiles.
tired of traveling sixty miles for a second of your time.
tired of all these floating words that rhyme.

Do you ever feel too tired for sleep, or so it seems?
I think, I'm just tired of seeing you in all my dreams.
1.5k · Mar 2015
MISERY loves Company
Because Happiness already has it.
why should I when no one's there to see it.
why should I when no one's there to breath it.
No one to inhale  the promises I exhale.
Misery loves company, loves heart ache, loves heart break.
Victim of earthquake
Victim of Tsunami.
Sad Fatherless Girl
The boy without a Mommy.
MISERY loves company.
Because happiness already has it.
If the homeless love the homeless they'll be hopeless to ever have a home.
If the orphaned love the orphaned they'll forever be alone.
Misery loves company and Misery loves love.
Is a miserable thing.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1.3k · Aug 2014
Top Of The World
I've only felt on top of the world once.
While riding on your shoulders as a small child.

Back when you were my whole world.

© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn
1.2k · Aug 2014
Dear Migraines, tell me will anyone see the blood stains this time?
"from one to ten rate your pain."
"I'm just fine."
    Dear Migraines, will anyone not believe me this time?
The message didn't scare me it was the context.
Did you send that to all of your contacts?
You can lie all you want, All I want is the facts.
If you're angry stay away from the ax no matter what form It's in.
    Dear Migraines in his head, I know it's just all in his head.
Excuses, Excuses "It was an accident."
     Dear Migraines, are you fluent in his thoughts?
     Dear Suicidal thoughts, were you frequent? were you constant?
"it was an accident"
    A note to his parents, why were you absent? Children need you even after they're an infant. And there is never a time to make them your servant.
  Dear Pills, was it really that urgent? Why didn't you stay in the bottle?
   Dear Bottle, did your contents stop the pounding in his thick skull?
I have to chuckle but it's not funny, It makes my eyes wet and my nose runny. And I don't know why. I've slowly forgotten what it's like not to cry. have you?
   Dear Migraines, more like figment of his imagination darkening the pigment of his skin where the scars are in creation.
    Dear Migraines, you are not obligated to be an obligation.
     Dear Officer is this against his probation?
     Dear God, should I pray for his Salvation?
Dear Suicidal thoughts, may you die of starvation. I hope no one feeds you
He doesn't need you!
       Dear complication, why are you so complicated?
I can't imagine he sat there and contemplated death.
        Dear Death, don't let him take his last breath, Please.
                  © copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn
1.2k · Sep 2014
I know all of the cuts and burns I've seen myself before.
I know all of the twists and turns. I've been down this road before.
Like a Geode, I have Crystals inside.
But on the outside, I'm like any other rock.
so how would you tell me a part from a stone.
I don't have a lot of self pride.
That shouldn't come as a shock.
I've always walked this road alone.
But I'm a Geode.
I'm a Geode.
Though you'd never know till you break me, and open me up.
only then will you see my crystal beauty.
when I'm in pieces and have had enough.
But there's no way of knowing a Geode from Rock.
You won't find out in time, No you won't hear it from the clock.
But if you love them you'll break them.
no matter how tough.
and you'll see the inside shell and if it shines.
You'll never find out if you don't cross any lines.
And it might be rough.
But they just might shine.
I read that Thunder Storms are formed from unstable air.
And I don't know,
I'm just taking some unstable breaths right now.
I didn't mean to start a Storm or anything frightening.
But oh well, Brace yourself. I'm not afraid of lightning.
It's only energy tween earth and sky.
Were all energy but were not as striking as lightning, though i don't know why.
Because We keep our beauty on the inside.
instead of being broken and exposed.
When you broke you chose to heal
we all do it has more appeal.
But why not expose ourselves.
Not every thorn has a rose.
not every rock is a Geode.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1.2k · Aug 2014
Man In The Moon
I might as well have fallen in love with the man in the moon.
He still wouldn't be as distant as you.
and He'll never show me his dark side.
Don't get me wrong, I fell in love with that part of you too.
But once you showed me your dark side the light in your eyes died.
and maybe I died a little inside too.
I'd have been better off falling in love with the man in the moon.
Like the wolf, I could cry to him all night.
Because I know he'll leave me once it's daylight.
Sound familiar?
Are you seeing things any clearer?
I'd rather have fallen in love with the man in the moon.
But I just can't, because he's not you.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1.1k · Sep 2014
I wrote you a text message
But I didn't hit send.
I started to call you
but instead
i hit end.
Every time I didn't,
I almost did.
all your hair pulled into the little knot on top your head caught my eye, no doubt.
Or maybe, it had something to do with the way your bottom lip pouts.
Or how, thanks to those thick glasses the oceans of your eyes are magnified.
God only knew there'd be a tsunami when you cried.
you always looked as if you were about to cry.
I hope there's a storm named after you.
I'll listen for your name on the weather, news and the radio.
Because I know I'll never see it flash across my phone.
You never showed up that night.
Why'd you leave me alone?
I don't hate you.
Please, don't think that.
It just still hurts,
the way you
knocked me
off of my
I don't hate you, You were a great story.
But every book ends.
Try to believe me, I really do want to read it again and again.
But every library book has to be returned.
or there's a large fee and my pockets are burned.
you see the world is our library.
and I only borrowed your story.
I have to return you now back to your shelf.
for you to collect dust and reflect on yourself.
one day someone will show more love than I did when they turn your pages.
And they will release all your unpublished chapters from their cages.
all in different writing and editing stages.
and all written in braile because love is blind.
Our Story Is Overdue.
I can't pay the fine.
I have to

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
I just really need to get to the library.
1.1k · Aug 2014
At five, A prisoner of his own home.
At fifteen, A prisoner of his own mind.
At seventeen, imprisoned. Because the world's not always kind.
Born to be a prisoner.

"how sinister.
you know they don't have feelings.
give them nothing extracurricular.

Then we'll put them in a rubber room,
when they start talking to their ceilings.

Tell them, they can not touch their visitor.
Tell them, this will teach them to be a better listener.

Forced, to give them free food so you make it taste like vinegar.
make them feel worthless because they're a Criminal
A Prisoner.

"You may not touch your Visitor"
You may not hold your baby sister"

We'll give you cable and free meals.
Just not at your family table.
No one cares how the young man feels.
He's a criminal.
A prisoner.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1.1k · Oct 2014
I'll tattoo ****** on your lips
That's what its like to kiss you.
the smell of death
lingers in my hair where your fingers ran
I don't understand.
why would you **** me with your empathy.
I know nobody cares for me.
the quieter it gets
the more voices I hear.
you had too many choices
And I think you made it clear.
I'm not what you wanted
I let you inside and you left my body haunted.
You taunted me with kisses.
You made me feel false love.
I know no one misses me.
I miss you though.
I'll just go, I'll leave you alone.
But I'll tattoo dead across my eye lids.
So they all know what you did.
I won't live for anyone but you.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1.0k · Aug 2014
Her Future, In His Prayers
She thinks the leaves will change just for her, If for long enough she stares.
believes, She's in the Praying Mantis's constant prayers.
Thinks the sun doesn't really shine 'till she takes a look outside.
believes that fireflies only light up to impress her.
Somehow, she Believes all of this, And still thinks she's of the lesser.
She tells her secrets to the Trees and doesn't care how she looks.
tells her fears to the fish, as she frees them from their hooks.
And to the Praying Mantis, She tells her past,
hoping, it will pray for her future to take a smoother path.
Her Future.
It couldn't come any sooner.
But it's of it, she's terrified.
Confined, to the present time,
She's a prisoner of her own mind.
Scared, of the unknown.
Inside, She's still a little girl, But oh, how fast her body's grown.
She thinks Nature is the only thing on her side, And her enemy is time.
She's already sick of this roller coaster called life.
But hasn't lived near many enough days.
She says,
Praying Mantis, Should I close my eyes the wrest of the ride?
No answer, Yet silently he prays.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1.0k · Oct 2014
Alternative Universe
I was hoping there was an alternative universe
where "I Love You" is good enough.
But I've already seen the entire solar system in the round bones of your spine.
the ride through space is tough, You and I could lay down and enjoy a glass of whine. You don't need to share feelings.
I'll just lay awake at night telling love stories to the ceilings.
wishing there was an alternative universe where promises had meaning.
And I'm leaning against the false hope that I could be an astronaut
and discover a loving alien who's everything you're not.
And we could live Happily on our own star.
Where I'd lay awake wishing he was less of what you aren't and more of what you are.
I love you for you and there's nothing that I'd change
I still love you with a smile, I still love you full of rage.
I thought, Maybe in an alternative universe
We could rehearse my dreams without a stage.
But this isn't a play.
there are galaxies  in your eyes
And there's nothing I can do or say
absolutely nothing, I just can't make you stay.
You really are a great actor, one of the great few
I mean there for a second, You had me believing you

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
1000 · Aug 2014
Petal by Petal
I wake up in the morning and think, how rude of me to wake up without warning. Because I'm a grenade. Just look at all of the promises I've made, that I know I can't keep. I try my best to go back to sleep; but I can't.
       So I dress myself in yellow caution tape, close the drapes, turn out the light and tell myself no one will find me here but I know they might.
       I hang a stop sign on the outside of the door and lock it, put the key in my otherwise empty pocket and scream, "This is a danger zone, don't come near. there is only hazardous waste in here!"

             I didn't know you were fearless.
Or that you could break down a door.
Never  thought you'd caress me, pick me up off the floor
and say "But, you used to be so full of life."
Those words cut through me like a knife because I remember when butterflies still lived in my stomach and fireflies lived in my eyes.
they're dead now. I'm not surprised.
But, could you maybe bring them back to life?
They haven't taken flight since we slept in the meadow that night.
When I realized, after all those hours laying in a field of flowers,
That I am the flower you disassemble Petal by Petal.
as you chant "she loves me, she loves me not."  about some other girl. And I try not to rant, because we've never fought. But I don't want to listen to you tell me how her hair glistens in the sun, or how she bites her lip when you call her Hon. I don't want to hear it. I don't want you to give my biggest fear a name or face I could recognize. I'm just hoping you scrutinized me petal by petal as you disassembled my petals with another ******* your mind. and that's why you're back now. That you don't know how, but your thoughts trailed or that other girl failed you. And while you were moping you thought of me broken, scattered Petal by Petal. And your heart shattered at the thought so you bought a one way ticket and broke down my door. Because you realized while you were moping that you love me and you were stupid before. maybe i'm wrong and you shouldn't have to settle.

I'm just hoping,  you'll put me together again Petal by Petal
© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn
967 · Oct 2014
Jackolantern Heart
You committed, But couldn't give me a ring like God gave Saturn.
Instead you turned my heart into a Jackolantern.
emptied it until It was hollow.
Made "I love You" easier said than swallowed.
Turned on a light inside of me
to ignite the flame of a candle.
Love isn't a game you see, but It may be too much for you to handle.
Carve a self portrait with geometric shapes.
Lighten the day and open the drapes.
put my carved heart on the gray porch.
Starved of affection but lit up like a torch.
leave it there till' Halloween.
to scare the young and innocent
An abandoned heart truly is a scary thing.
Now i know your love wasn't given but lent.
You couldn't give me a ring like God gave Saturn.
Instead, you made my heart a Jackolantern.
instead of visiting a healthy pumpkin patch.
But that's what happens when you get attached.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
Holiday themes aren't really my thing..oh well
951 · Aug 2014
He said I had Pretty, Blue eyes like his.
So I shut my eyes real tight.
I never wanted that Monster's eyes.
My eyes are my own, right?
he wore a disguise of a Man, But he's an impostor.
all he'll ever be is a Monster,
at least in the eyes of who he dare call his "daughter"
The Blue eyed monster lay on my bed not under.
I yelled out so fearfully loud, that It's no wonder I'm afraid of thunder.
And, ever since I've been begging my eyes to change their color.

I knew my life was a little rough.
But I always had just enough.
And there was never anyone to be jealous of.
But, I heard Jealousy being called The Green Eyed Monster.
Green's better than blue.
Green's so much better than the thought of you.
So, I asked Jealousy to consume me.
Invited the Green Eyed Monster in the room with me.
and asked it to plant some Jealousy to bloom in me.
Can you make it into a perfume then spray it on me?
I wanted jealousy to live in me.
But now, that isn't who I wanna be.
And I'm no longer Jealous that you get to keep the family.
They took your side, but they were better off without me.
Never looked back, but they woulda found out something about me.
Something to ponder,
my eyes are pretty, Green sometimes, sometimes Blue, but not like you.
Because I'm not a monster

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
You think you know love when you feel your stomach filled with butterflies.
You think nothing is the same once you feel them fly.
But one day you'll know love.
Although those butterflies will die.
They'll be replaced with little kicks
That turn into a freshly mopped floor covered in tiny muddy footprints.
True love is slow to anger.
And it's crazy how your little one is part you and part someone once a stranger.
With whom you now share a heart.
That lives outside your body,
adorable and smart.
Now imagine, another little one your lover brought to you. Part him and part stranger but the Stanger isn't you.
Imagine, if you can,
You love them both the same.
Such perfect little boys
They will bring you many joys.  
But also much pain.
Sometimes it feels like a push and a shove.
But I promise you one day,
you will know love.
It will not sound like the "I love you"
That your mother used to say.
Or any of the sweet lies from before she gave you away.
Or the love HE tried to show you when he snuck into your little bed.
It won't feel like any
untruth that he put into your head.
You won't make your parents mistakes
Because these boys were sent to you from your Father from above.
So even when the thought shakes you,
Don't be scared to love.  

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Sandoval
900 · Aug 2014
Hole In The Wall
A hole in the wall.
She wraps my fists.
No wonder, I fell for a girl with bandaged writs.
She tucks me in bed with her healing kiss.
She must get tired of living like this.
When daylight breaks, she wakes me up.
And pours fresh coffee in my favorite cup.
She's cleaned the blood from the bathroom stall.
But what will she do about the hole in the wall.
She drives me to anger management.
Where I'll tell them everything was an accident.
She's back again at Ten o'clock
without her car, holds my hand for the walk.
Apparently, I didn't want to talk.
She may have fixed the hole in the wall.
But what will she do with her broken jaw.
She looks around to see who saw.
It's just us
and no forgiveness left for her to withdraw.
She tucks me in bed with her sympathetic kiss.
She's finally done living like this.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
again from the male's perspective.
897 · Sep 2014
When You're A Kid
In America the legal age to be considered an adult is eighteen.
And were all so excited when were EIGHTEEN AT LAST
But, some of us were already grown ups.
Some of us grew up too fast.
When you're a kid
you should spend the night in your bedroom, your very own place.
When you're a kid
You shouldn't be afraid of who might come in to your room or invade your "personal space"
When you're a kid
You should have friends by the dozens
When you're a kid
You should spend the night at your friends house or your cousin's.
When you're a kid
You shouldn't spend the night at hospitals.
When you're a kid
You should't know anything about popping pills
When your'e a kid
you shouldn't be worried about paying the bills
When you're a kid
You should be spending the night on your roof under the starts.
When you're a kid
You shouldn't make your own scars
When you're a kid
you don't have to know who you are
When you're a kid
You should be a kid
When you're a kid
You shouldn't be spending the night on the street.
When you're a kid
You shouldn't get rides from any of the strangers you meet
When you're a kid
You should spend the night in a tent on a camping trip
When you're a kid
You shouldn't drink alcohol, not even a sip
When you're a kid
You shouldn't spend the night in jail
When you're a kid
You shouldn't need friends
just to pay your bail
When your a kid
You should spend the night somewhere safe
When you're an adult
you should raise
kids to be kids.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
American Raised
885 · Aug 2014
Fairy tale
I've decided to write to you.
It's a little too late after all that we've been through.
But I saw you the other day.
I left immediately. Didn't think I had anything left to say.
I ran in to you actually.
I know how you like everything stated factually.
I'm still high from the smoke you breathed on me.
It's not the regular Buzz.
It feels more like I'm going to die.
Because, Because.. I don't know why.
All I know for sure is that lipstick shade of yours,
Looks more like blood has stained your lips.
Like you drank blood for breakfast in small, lady-like sips.
But you looked beautiful, like an actress who through away the scripts.
Oh My Stars, you were Gorgeous.
Even with your scars that always made you resemble a hot mess.
But not that night, In that skimpy, emerald dress.
You were Beautiful in a way that was dangerous.
And It hurts me now, That you couldn't love me less.
honestly, I'm sorry for mistaking you as a Maiden In Distress.
You didn't want a fairy tale.
You're the princess who denies the prince
and falls in love with the dragon who's meant to be slayed.
In the end , I guess I was the prince who just got played.
And you wound up with Dragon's breath.
which I guess, explains how inside of me, you started a flame.
But I was stupid and left, Now you have your dragon
and we'll never be the same.
I'm sorry this makes no sense, It's all over the place.
I have to write it before I'm sober.
I mean, since when are you a smoker?
With this high, every time I close my eyes I still see your glowing face.
I don't want this to be over.
I want to taste your ****** lips.
Maybe I'm not a prince
love me.
Baby, I'm an ogre

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
Once again from a male's perspective.
Not my best piece, sorry
860 · Nov 2014
Emptiness and Canyons
My mind is a canyon where your voice echoed.
I wish you belonged to me but I think that's what I like most.
That you're not meant to be owned.
And maybe it's wrong of me to wish for you on falling stars.
Maybe It's childish.
But it's so rare to meet someone who knows who they are.
and I don't care what anyone thinks they know.
they do not know you.
And I'm determined to show you I can be all that you need.
I want the best for you, wanting you for myself is simply out of greed
because I know you can do better.
and with every letter I write in each word in each line while you're on my mind is important.
my writing gets distorted at night but every A, B and C is hope
that you might take another look at me.
And maybe see something in me worth saving.
as of now my heart's been replaced with wooden shavings
And the tree that they came from is nothing but a stump
I get a lump in my throat just thinking of how I **** everything I love.
Because I give my whole heart.
And I love things to death.
So I shouldn't be surprised to see that they left.
But I almost always am.
And I don't know how to start the grief process.
when no one is as lost as I am.
I wish you would find me
I've stayed where you left me.
more shaken then I was before.
When you awaken with my scent in your empty bed,
Do you just sleep on the floor?
Do you even know me anymore?
are you torn between not knowing and not caring.
because I'm staring at the walls wishing there was a way to get to you, a way out of here.
it appears that I'm trapped. If these walls could talk they'd be full of crap because all they do is keep me from living.
and the life they're giving me isn't life it's just a safe way to survive.
Because a free spirit shouldn't be confined.
And I'm fed up,
with being fed and given water, shelter and love
like that should be more than enough.
but I love my parakeet.
i give it food and water so it should happily tweet.
But it's still a caged bird like me.
The only thing I truly need is to be free.
and freedom is hard to come by.
you're the only one who's showed me some.
and I don't want this thing to die.
my mind is a canyon where your voice echos
my eyes are canyons full of the tears I haven't let go.
My lungs are canyons full of smoke.
and my hollow laughs at life's sick jokes.
I'm a canyon, quite simply
I'm empty

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
842 · Mar 2015
I'm the song in the car
you have to turn up the volume to .  Because like some songs are meant to be played loud,
Some people are meant to be loved hard
Like a broken bottle's Glass shard  
broken pieces of my heart
puncture my soul
and rupture the parts of me
that are more soft grunge than rock n' roll.
and I no longer have control
of my feelings
so if you're  leaving,
take a little piece of me.
A lock of hair.
Tie it around your finger.
This isn't fair
For just a little while longer I'd love to linger.
827 · Nov 2014
When I think about the perfect man
It's someone with ambitions, someone with plans.
honestly, I look at his looks last.
I want someone who holds my heart when he's not holding my hand.
someone who listens even if they don't understand.
Someone who accepts me for who I am.
Someone I can T r u s t
who needs me for more than his lust.
someone with long and wavy hair
who hears peoples judgments and just doesn't care
someone with a solar system in the round bones of his spine.
With galaxies in his eyes and the stars shine brighter when he calls me "mine"
the feel of his unseen stubble prickling my cheek
is the one thing that could make me weak.
I want him tie-dyed on the inside.
who knows himself and has self pride.
someone who can admit when he's lied.
Because nobody's perfect but at least he'd have tried.
and if it doesn't work out at least we'd have tried.
because nothing is going to last forever
If it breathes, It's going to leave.
when you find him embrace every moment together.
and when he's gone.
And I search the sky but can't find the sun.
I'll come across a picture of him and remember our fun.
Then come to terms with the fact that what's done is done.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
POETRY CHALLENGE!! (The Creep That Loved You's brilliant idea)
826 · Sep 2014
The Burial Of Broken Hearts
I read a story about two lovers, one died in the others arms.
I can't even fathom.
But I imagine, It's something like when your heart broke while I held it in my hands.
No one Understands how I can compare the two.
But You're dead now, or at least a part of you.
Is six feet under the ground.
I listen to you talking
But the part of you i fell for never makes a sound.
Yet, people are offended I think I can relate to a story so tragic.
They just don't get it...we used to be magic.
no one understands, to me this is death.
Living without you, get's harder with each breath.
I know, you didn't mean any harm.
But this is the end.
And the saddest part is I didn't get to die in your arms.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
702 · Aug 2014
Rubber Band
Isn't this what you wanted?  
for me to write about you?
But I had no sad stories to tell.
You never made me want to bleed.
there was not one suppressed feeling,
Or depressed thoughts needing to be freed.
well,  I don't know how to deal with what I'm dealing with.
Shoulda never planted that seed in your head,
That you might be happier with her instead.
The most selfless thing iv'e ever done.
But, I've never felt more helpless, Hon.
I've never   f e l t   like this.
But, these are the cards I've been dealt with.
No, they're just the cards I played.
God, what was I thinking, If I had begged you, you might have stayed.
But, Once you've laid your cards down, you can't change your mind.
Like once you messaged her, there was no way to rewind.
I'd do it all different, If I could do it all again.
I want to tell you why you're significant, But don't know where to begin.
Maybe, that I'm writing this a little before
4 A.M.  
And I won't be getting sleep.
I'm not trying to condemn you, that's not your fault.
I could be counting sheep.
But I know laying in that bed will only make me weep.
I'm too regretful to be tired.
Wish I was forgetful.
But in my Heart, Body and Mind..You're still desired.
I'm sorry you thought I was pushing you.
But your words were crushing me.
I hope you two aren't rushing into things.
I still want you to be with me.
And it's much harder letting go, when I can still hear you saying "no".
But our love is a stretched rubber band.
I'm holding one end, and the other's in your hand.
If one lets go before the other, one of us will get hurt.
I can get hurt, that doesn't bother me.
But, we can both let go at the same time, and no one gets hurt, you see?
I'm sorry if you felt pushed.
I thought it would feel better than  trapped.

the point is, I'm just afraid..that our rubber band has snapped.

© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn
678 · Aug 2014
Favorite Mistake
You were my favorite mistake.
one I hope to make again.
I don't believe in second chances.
You deserved all ten.
In spite of the lies you told, and all the pain you cause,
the cold Day my life flashes before my eyes, I'll put our nights on pause.

The nights we told our secrets,
The nights we made our own.
The nights in which were sleepless.
that caused weakness in my bones.

Your kiss, The taste of sweetness.
That left me speechless in that bed.
I'll never know the reasons, to why you wouldn't leave my head.  

But I know the color of your blood.
Deep Venetian Red.
"Just wear long sleeves tomorrow."
Is the only thing I said.

If I had said something more meaningful..
something empowering instead.
Maybe you'd lose the urge
to bleed out, the urge to just drop dead.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
676 · Sep 2014
she wasn't much, I barely noticed her.
She almost never talked, but was more of a listener.
she wasn't a head turner but was instead silently beautiful.
She was always pleasant and saw the glass as being half full.
She had eerie long eye lashes like spider webs.
And looked through them with half closed eyelids.
Oh, her sky blue powdered eyelids.
I wonder what she saw behind them.
Because, I know it was more then darkness.
Everything about her excreted light.
I always thought she was harmless.
She was a peacemaker, the first to back out of every fight.
But when you fall in love with her she doesn't provide a harness.
You'll fall hard, but she'll tell you everything will be alright.
And before she left me, I'd never seen a starless night.
She was no one to me, turns out what matters is who you think you are.
I guess in her own mind she knew she was my star.
And I should have known because everything about her excreted light.
She said were as free as birds.
But now I know where as free as Kites.
there's always stings attached.
I realize we weren't the ideal match.
But I hardly knew she was there.
Truthfully, she was the only one I found who even cared.
So I kept her around like a pet..
and so it went,
I never thought she was important.
My view of her was distorted.
She was just the scent in my bed sheets
And the lipstick stain on my cigarettes.
on my dashboard there are footprints.
And i thought 'that's all she is.'
but she was so much more.
she wasn't much..but she was my star.
we all are, stars.
Made of the same matter, both made of the same dust.
I thought we were nothing, i called this lust.
she wasn't as harmless as i thought.
I called her my safety net but I was just another fish in the sea who got caught. Maybe it wasn't lust.
I think
I love her
I think I love her a lot.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
another rambling from a male's point of view i tried to write quickly
before i left for work and forgot
656 · Sep 2014
What Happened To You
When I met you, you were wearing piggy tales and fairy wings.
outside with a magnifying glass held over a beetle you poked and prodded with your mothers sewing needle.
Trying to direct the sunlight through the glass.
you were so witty, clever and full of sass
I asked what you were doing and you said.
"I'm being a fairy. and making fireflies out of these boring black bugs that are nothing out of the ordinary."
You jumped back when the bug caught fire.
I'm not really sure which one of us jumped higher.
Your eyes were wide as the flame quickly died.
As did the bug.
I started to whimper like the cry baby I was.
You just stood up and gave me a hug.
You said
"It's alright, he's a firefly now. He'll be shining bright, flying around by night."
Like a fool, I believed your story.
After all, you were just a little girl.
And I a little boy.
What happened to you?
I miss your piggy tales
and your fairy wings.
I miss your chubby chipmunk cheeks.
now they're rosy and defined.
You tell me all the guys want you and I should consider myself lucky to call you mine.
What happened to you?
You used to collect rocks. Arranged them by which made the best chalk.
I helped you test them on the sidewalk.
We drew each other because you never liked hop scotch.
And you got mad when I drew you as black.
"What are you doing? I don't look like that"
you handed me a white rock and took away the piece of charcoal we got  from your grill.
"You may not see me like this now"
you said.
"But one day you will."
So I tried,
I tried with all my might but it was hard to draw you white.
You didn't act like them and I think you knew
What happened to you?
Remember the summer your skin tanned darker then my mom's?
You said it was the first time you felt like you belonged.
What happened to you?
But you said you didn't care about ethnicity.
You were part Rock and part Roll.
You told me so every time you turned the **** on the radio that made my ear drums blast.
You hummed along, driving to fast.
What happened to that?
once you found a mushroom and you popped it  revealing powder inside.
wide eyed, you popped one on me.
"Fairy Dust" you said happily.
and popped one on yourself.
"Let's be like this forever.
Lets never get old.
I wish I'd have agreed
I wish I hadn't been so cold.
What happened to you?
Yesterday, I saw you with another man
I guess you do it cuz you can.
It was a shock because I thought we were doing alright.
But he had big bucks, a nice car, and his skin was white.
I got out of my car and stepped into sight.
You said something to your new guy and walked towards me.
I tried not to cry.
I knew you wouldn't hug me this time.
Or tell me it's alright.
instead you said.
"You and I've tried everything. I'ts time I give you back your ring.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
I'm sorry I don't feel the love.
I'm sorry we couldn't make this work.
I'm sorry our kissing lost it's fireworks.
I'm sorry my eyes lost there spark.
I'm sorry that my skin's not dark.
I'm sorry for how I've made you feel
And I'm sorry Fairy Dust isn't  real.
But I'm not sorry if i lead you on.
Because you knew one day that I'd be gone."

What happened to us?
we should have never grown up.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
Let's never grow up.
648 · Dec 2014
Potters Wheel
I looked you in the eye and saw you as a lump of clay.
I took it all in with a sigh; you dwindled to a fray.
I'll put you on my potters wheel until your head spins.
and you're nacius.
I'll toss this clay till it's centered and you'll wonder what kind of fiasco you entered. I'll mold you and form you till I have you how I want you.
But that's not you.
I'm not the potter, I am not God.
I'm only a daughter.
Perhaps i entered a land I wasn't meant to trod.
I shouldn't try to rearrange you. Only God can change you.
So how do I reverse this curse i've put over you.
and when this is over will I still know you?
I'll smash you before I take you off my potters wheel so you can restart.
I don't know how to feel since you've reformed my heart.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
644 · Jan 2015
crying alone
He smiles like sunshine. And I smile that he's mine. And I'm happy. Finally..I'm a ray of sunshine and he's a ray of sunshine but there's no rain clouds. And maybe I'm still deaf from when the thunder roared loud. And now...there's no warmth only heat. ******* HEAT And I don't know if you'll understand this statement but no matter how perfect your pavement there's still blood on the concrete..somewhere. but there's those of us who stare right through it and walk past like it's not there but we leave red footprints everywhere. And you were a rain cloud that followed me like depression. And I guess you finally taught me my lesson it takes more than sunshine to make the flowers grow. They need the rain and the skies of gray. And all these bright smiles can take a flower and force it to wither away. But somehow the weeds have grown. I need the rain to fall on me. So I don't have to cry Alone.  

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
632 · Oct 2014
Pop Quiz
Momma may have called her a bad influence.
But, aren't you still on Daddy's insurance plan?
C'mon step up, and be a Man.
Go out to dinner with the dangerous girl blowing smoke rings.
She's the same as you, were all sinners.
You never know she could be hiding angel wings
under all that thick Blue hair.
She's sort of like a car crash
you can't really help but stare.
What if she's an Angel and God sent her to you as a test.
to see if you'd give his beloved angel your best.
But you were to busy worrying about what
Mom would think and Dad would say
And how She might effect your grades.
But..What if you failed the most important test one day?

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
624 · Aug 2014
Falling Stars And Guitars
I'll play my guitar 'till my fingers bleed.
If it matters to you, If that's what you need.
****** finger tips
I'm getting stronger,
But I'd still do anything to make your love linger longer.
I'd catch a falling star
for you to wish upon
watch it burn in my palm
And be proud of the scar.
I'll watch it burn yet stay calm.
as long as i'm your wish.
I guess I'll add this poem to the things I'll never finish.
It saddens me, I don't know if I'll have this chance again.
But I can no longer grip the pen.
my palms are burnt raw,
but my frozen heart wont thaw.
blood drips
from my finger tips.
so hold my hand, just kiss my lips.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
617 · Aug 2014
Power In Words
"oh my God, I had An awesome day, my boyfriend is so wonderful, and so sappy.
Don't worry, I'll find someone for you.
It's your turn to be

Well, I'm glad your day inspired awe,
And that your boyfriend is so full of wonder.
But, don't speak like I'm below you.
It's not you I'm under.
What will you do on your life's brightest day?
what words will you have left to say,
When you already wasted
on some sappy boy you hardly know. And
On this ****** day.
Then, had the audacity to say it's my turn to be happy.
Like I drew the "skip a turn" card one too many times.
Like this is monopoly.
But, Love's not a Game.
And Happy Isn't a name.
There's not Boy or Girl named Happy, ready to show me something new.
I don't know, maybe this is news to you.
But I'm happy all alone.
Maybe even happier on my own.
Happy has no face, It's not a name or thing or place.
I'ts a word.
not a name, Just a word.
with definition.
yeah , That's the situation. There's power in the things you say,
anyway, Sorry if I ruined your "Awesome" day.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
613 · Sep 2014
A Love Story
The best love story is the one between the chain smoker and the asthmatic.
For if he hadn't changed for her, She'd have died for him.
Their Love ran through their veins.
So they saw past each others skin.
And it was seemingly fantastic
the love story
between the Chain Smoker and the Asthmatic.
She was perfect in his hazy eyes
And She Loved Him like crazy.
This left them only partially sane.
As their burning love ran through their veins.
He loved her to Death.
And so she loved him back to life
Their Love still flowed through their veins even after they used a knife.
All they bled was their blood.
And soon were both embalmed with only Love.
They killed each other softly but died swiftly
One went Below
And one above.
Not one smoke or earthly temptation.
Not even Death's dreadful separation
Could **** their undying love.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
611 · Oct 2014
A New Form Of Drugs
I was warned of the drugs slipped in drinks, but never of the ones that smile and wink, that tell me sweet lies to make me think I may not die lonely.
If only it had been a drug from a bottle.
I was told to take things s l o w instead I went full throttle.
I knew I would wreck this.
I swallowed a new pill down with my breakfast.
It's not as good as the last, but I couldn't find a single trace of you in the wreckage.
I know you're my past. And I have to look forward.
I'm just unsure what I'm headed towards.
And I'll confess that I'm scared.
The moments we shared together were the only ones I didn't fear.
But no more lie ahead, you've made that quite clear.
I just don't understand why I'm still here.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
610 · Oct 2014
Feel The Rain.
Go ahead, have a good laugh. You think you understand but you've never seen the poems I have saved as drafts.
you think you know something special by reading these lines.
But you can't take away what's rightfully mine.
You think that you can feel my pain.
you wet fool, you didn't even
feel the rain.
© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
"Some feel the rain others just get wet"-Bob Marley
593 · Oct 2014
Fresh red blood drips off of his sharp teeth.
Yet I think, Maybe he's still good underneath.
Bite marks on the necks of all of his exes.
Yet I think, perhaps he just know what good *** is.
Skin as pale as any white liar.
Yet, I fell in love with a ****** vampire.
send his venom through my veins.
My mind is higher than the feeling of pain.
His venom is my latest craze.
But one should know, a vampire never stays.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
Happy Halloween :)
591 · Jun 2015
With you I'm a little careless
Without actually having to 'care less'  
Because I've never cared more
About anyone, or anything.

Take me under your wing.
I want to be cared for
But by you, and only you.
I won't make you make up for
Past lack of care.
I can't ask that of you.
It wouldn't be fair.
All that matters is,
I know you'll always be there  
And I've never had a security blanket like that.
My quilts have always been built with

"good intentions"
The same thing by which the road to Hell is paved.
I never thought I'd have a hero.
Never thought id ever be saved.
So thank you.
And thank God for sending you my way
Now let me tie you to an anchor
Just to make sure you stay.
586 · Sep 2014
Raggedy Anne
I was on the way to see my girlfriend.
when I saw you standing next to a broke down bronco.
I new you were my dead end.
You wore patched up overall shorts with loud mismatched knee socks.
I didn't even make a phone call to tell my girl I turned the wrong block
Your frizzy hair was Kool-Aid dyed with every flavor ever made.
I meant to stop to help you, I'm just surprised I stayed
your eyes were lined with match stick ash.
Why am I attracted when everything you are's a clash?
I saw your arms painted with bruises from when he through you out with the trash.
You're not trash.
Believe me
You're not trash.
You're a Raggedy Anne who just needs some stitching up.
With a heart broke down like your bronco, just needs some fixing up.
I don't know
I mean
I don't have a magic syrup
or anything..
I'm just hoping this time that Love is enough
so, what do you think?

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
This is what my boredom resulted in, another random story told in the male's perspective:)
585 · Dec 2014
Eleven Minutes
They say each cigarette takes eleven minutes off your life.
But Heaven know's that that's alright.
What can you do in eleven minutes anyway?
I lived through a lifetime of your abuse and you still didn't stay.
There's a lot that could be done in eleven minutes, one may say.
and I have to agree. It took less than eleven minutes for you to destroy me.
less than eleven minutes to say a prayer, to take a picture, to sit and stare.
But it takes less than eleven minutes to get high to be humiliated to frustratedly try not to cry. for your truths to be spilled, to swallow too many pills, it takes less than eleven minutes to be killed.
and maybe I'm happy to rid or eleven minutes more.
you have a door **** for a heart and your love's a trap door.
You said I "felt like home"
so I know why you ran away.
at least for me "home" isn't a place you'd want to stay.
And if i'm left with only eleven minutes more perhaps I have regrets.
But If my lungs are filled with smoke
I can't feel your essence in my breath.
I'll just keep my fingers crossed you have no presence in my death.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
584 · Sep 2014
Little Stuffed Lamb
There was a little, stuffed, ratted lamb
I used to carry around.
they found it in my closet hidden away.
What they don't know
Is that's where I used to stay.
Hidden and safe
From the war outside,
Forbidden to come out; I promised I wouldn't, But I lied.
Certain things you can't unsee
But I didn't take the ratted lamb with me.
I left it hidden away like I should have been.
Instead, I instilled a fear of men in my head.
that was the first night I didn't bring my little lamb to bed.
The old ratted thing was all I could protect.
Sure her little life wasn't perfect, always hidden out of sight.
clothes pins on her ears so she didn't hear the fights.
But I did my best to give her all I could.
Taking care of her the way I knew I should have been given care.
I became a Mom to the ratted lamb, because my Mom wasn't there.
She never once closed my ears with clothes pins.
I'd forgive her if she did.
But what's unforgivable, is that she didn't like how I hid.
I guess she wanted me to live in reality and not to be sheltered.
But I sweltered in the heat of truth.
so my little lamb I sheltered, my little lamb I soothed.
I still have the ratted thing, we sit side by side.
But now neither one of us has to hide.
Except for from time to time
When I hide from the memories
That brew

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
573 · Sep 2014
Backwards little place
The loudest thing I've heard is silence .

And Weakness is the strongest thing I've felt.

the only person to touch my heart had burning finger tips and made it


My best kiss wasn't on the lips but the forehead.

It wasn't seducing but romantic instead.

I know My world's a little backwards.

I know only, what I'm running away from.

And not what I'm running towards.

Maybe we'll meet there in a backwards little place.

then I can finally tell you face to face.

And say what I need to say.

But for now this will have to do.

This is it.


I'm still In love with you

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
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