I was on the way to see my girlfriend.
when I saw you standing next to a broke down bronco.
I new you were my dead end.
You wore patched up overall shorts with loud mismatched knee socks.
I didn't even make a phone call to tell my girl I turned the wrong block
Your frizzy hair was Kool-Aid dyed with every flavor ever made.
I meant to stop to help you, I'm just surprised I stayed
your eyes were lined with match stick ash.
Why am I attracted when everything you are's a clash?
I saw your arms painted with bruises from when he through you out with the trash.
You're not trash.
Believe me
You're not trash.
You're a Raggedy Anne who just needs some stitching up.
With a heart broke down like your bronco, just needs some fixing up.
I don't know
I mean
I don't have a magic syrup
or anything..
I'm just hoping this time that Love is enough
so, what do you think?

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

Fresh red blood drips off of his sharp teeth.
Yet I think, Maybe he's still good underneath.
Bite marks on the necks of all of his exes.
Yet I think, perhaps he just know what good *** is.
Skin as pale as any white liar.
Yet, I fell in love with a ****** vampire.
send his venom through my veins.
My mind is higher than the feeling of pain.
His venom is my latest craze.
But one should know, a vampire never stays.


© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

Mountain Climber, how idiotic, mistaking a cacti for a rock.
And how ironic relying on cactus to hold you up.
It's roots became your lifeline.
But, you're blood dripped like cheap whine into the dirt.
I know what it's like to hold on to something when all it does is hurt.
Because, you're afraid if you let go, You won't survive.
Were all just trying to stay alive.
But if you let go you just might not make it through.
Mountain Climber,
Don't you see, That's why I'm still holding on to you?

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I wonder what's out of reach
due to my refusal to let go of you.
Maybe I have my hands full.
I can see you grasping for something too.
do you miss me?
Your voice is what I fell in love with first.
fresh like water to quench my thirst.
A voice that was so full of Love
Now all your words are slurred.
You only call me when you're drunk.
Because you're not thinking straight.
I want to hear the Love again, But I'm afraid that it's to late.
I want you to be safe but I'm not ready
For you to get sober.
What if then, This is all over.
I don't care if I'm only your Baby when you're drunk.
I'm drunk on you.
I don't care
No, I don't care
what you do.
Just Please Don't stop calling
I'll never stop falling
more and more in love with you.


© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I drove my car to the cemetery.
I was a little late getting to our meeting place.
You were already there, by the same tomb stone you always are.
Wearing a tired expression on your face.
the dark half moons cast shadows under your glistening eyes.
You hand me a present wrapped in newspaper and i'm sort of surprised.
I open it and see it seems to just be trash.
you look at me as if you were a closet hoarder and you're showing me your secret stash.
You smile sadly,and say..
"I can't fight your battles for you
This time, It's your own war."
shifting your gaze
you looked down at the gift.
"This is the diary i started writing the day we met."
you said.
"And I won this pack of stale cigarettes off of you in a bet.
These scraps of paper are all the notes we passed back and forth during class.
oh, and you dropped this penny during offering once I finally got you to come to mass.
this paint sample is the color we said we'd paint our future house together.
when we were were messing around in the department store.
we chose a brown like leather.
But, that doesn't matter anymore.
you just didn't see me take it.
or slip it in my pocket.
oh, and this"
she said holding up a golden heart shaped locket.
"My father gave me this before he died.
It's meant for my wedding day.
There's a picture of us inside.
It's yours now.
I wont be getting married anyway.
Sweetheart, I know who you are.
Maybe, to the wrest of the world you can hide your ****** preference.
But not to me, I know the difference.
Don't feel guilty.
You didn't hurt me.
You never deserted me.
I've thought about this a lot.
I was mad at first.
I thought you were sinful.
I thought you were cursed.
But there's nothing wrong with how you are.
It's just my love for you is so strong.
And it won't go away.
This has gone on for far to long.
I shouldn't be making you stay."

I sat there in disbelief heartbroken, and a little relieved.
as I watched her walk away.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

Sparks used to fly between us.
Enough to cause a forest fire.
But that's not the kind of warmth i need And you're nothing but a liar.
Our fire killed all the nearby trees and I now suffer from lack of oxygen.
Breath some air into my lungs will you?
with your kiss which tastes as good as  sin.
I strung all your promises on thread, like beads around my neck.
and when you broke them it slit my throat.
You did your best, but your best didn't meet my needs
I wore your love like a coat.
Now you've stripped me and it's snowing.
Ripped my heart out of me and let it freeze.
You threw it into all those dead trees without my knowing.
And I hope God can see me down here on my knees.
Lord, I need a warmer coat now please.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I went to bed with your words still in my head.
and it stills aches between my legs where I let you in.

I went to bed with your smell still on my skin.
And my heart still breaks from when I let you in.

It's broken and bleeding yet beating ten times quicker
And I don't know how to fix her,

my poor little heart.
trying to start-

up like an old Chevy
the weight of the world on my shoulders has gotten unbearably heavy

I need your strength
but I'm losing Faith

That we can make it through.
It may be much to late for me and you.

But there's something in the way you throw your head back.
when you laugh.

It warms me like a ray of hope.
and the trace of your touch can't be washed off with soap.

Believe me I've tried.
I gave you everything, then I went to bed and cried.
you stripped me of my clothes
please don't strip me of my pride.
I need you
And I've never confessed anything more true.
You see, I know that to you this was nothing.
But it's defiantly more then something to me.


© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I let you slip through my fingers
now you're a puddle on the floor.
You warned me
But I thought you were good down to your core.
I ignored the warning.
But I'm not sorry anymore
It was worth it, you know.
I know you said to leave..
But do you really want me to go?
It's just hard to believe.
that I mean nothing to you now.
How did it get this way?
You told me I meant everything.
That I was your family.
I should have caught on to that.
Because the people in the room when I was born.
Don't even care about my birthday.
I could have sworn you were different.
I don't think i was wrong
But still you left me
And I'm no longer strong.
My abandonment issues
Are the only ones that have ever stayed.
I've lost everyone no matter how hard I prayed.
You didn't have to leave.
You could have stayed.
you could have stayed.
I didn't burn my bridges, I needed something to stand on.
Honestly, You're the only thing i want to get my hands on.
I want to leave fingerprints in every corner of your heart.
I want your lungs to be the bull's eye
And my eyes will shoot the darts
I wan't to take your breath away
then give you mouth to mouth
Maybe you don't need saving
It's just i have this craving to be somebody's hero.
And you're mine so it only feels right you know?
you saved me from myself so many countless times.
I behaved so immaturely
surely, you see I'm still on my climb
This isn't my destination
I have enough bottled up frustrations to drown in.
I don't know if you'll save me.
I'm still spitting up water from the last time.
So I'll try to be brave.
© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

A robin pecks at the ground.

An Earth Worm mistakes it for rain.

I look on sadly, feeling the poor worm's pain.

he wiggles out of the ground towards his grave.

If there was a way to save

the poor little worm; I would.

The tears are coming, I'm about to cave.

For it isn't fair You came like rain.

But you chewed me up and spit me out.

Filled my hollow mind with doubt.

I shout out to the void.

But I think nothingness is getting annoyed, You know?

The Robin fly's off with the Earth Worm.

It was such a Lovely show.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

Sorry We're Closed*
I hope you understand this isn't something I chose.
You knew My Heart's  business hours.
you used to come in and water the flowers.
My heart was always open back then.
It's been closed for some time now.
But I reopened it again,
today.
I wondered why you never came.
Now I'm wondering why I even invited you.
I'm sure you have more enticing invitations don't you?
All you ever did in here was break everything.
But, I wouldn't mind being broken by you.
come play my heart strings like your guitar.
could you play our song? I forgot who we are.
I know, you were hoping I'd believe you when you said you didn't know when My Heart was open.
But I wrote the business hours out on an advertisement.
Made it into a magnet and stuck it to your soul.
with my luck our magnetic field isn't as strong as it used to be.
Or you just simply forgot about me.
So this is the last time I'll call you open heartidly.
My heart's been closed a long time.
And now that I opened I had no customers
Even you didn't want to live here now that you live in hers.
But I can only have so many closing times before I have to shut down.
So I'm down on my knees begging you to come around.
Please...
You don't have to stay.
Just come in and visit me.
I'm sorry it's just my heart wasn't made for this vacancy.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

Life, is a ticking time bomb.
with a very short fuse.
were all in it to win it.
But, were all just going to lose.
Death is inevitable.
We don't get to choose.
Death.
One day we will all reach our final breath.
So don't be upset if time ages you.
Were all dying.
If all men are created equal
Then all that matters is our own self-worth.
Death has been promised to us at birth.
It may be the only promise we don't live long enough to see break.
Because Death doesn't care whose life it going to take.
The hands of a clock are evil, and blind.
They don't mind if you're Old and feeble,
Or young and dumb but kind.
enjoy this year, we get so few.
Sooner than later, there will be no time left for you.
Because when the clock strikes that its' your time to go.
It's your time to go.
Clocks aren't self respecting.
They'll wait till you're least expecting.
Then it's hands will reach out to ****** you.
You can try to run but it's hands are destined to catch you
And strangle you lifeless when they do.
Everyone you know will become empty shells of themselves,
When your chest loses it's rise and fall.
But, death is inevitable, after all.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I never asked for this, never wanted it either.
I feel worse now than with any old fever.
I never wanted to fall for you.
except I never fell.
You pushed me
With the intention I'd fall through the floorboards and straight into hell.
But I fell in love instead.
and I'm not sure there's a difference.
I think Hell is something you carry on your shoulders and not a place you go to if that makes any sense.
And I'm tired of building my house on boulders because they move.
calling you my rock just gave you too much to prove.
.
.
.
And now I'm just sitting here at a traffic light.
They were made for our safety right?
Because I've had Red lights all the way and I think that's a sign, a message clearly saying S T O P.
But I tell myself it's fine
That it's a coincidence
You handed me a heart I said I'd try not to drop
but each time the light turns green I wince.
Because maybe, just maybe
theirs a meaning to these dead ends and detours
even hooks are hidden in lours.
I think that's what you are.
And I just can't get reeled in.
they say feelin' this is a sin.
I'm beginning to believe them but I refuse to let them win.
and maybe that's what this is all about now.
Maybe I'm confused or just forgot how to love.
but that red light's glowing above.
and I feel my heart drop in my chest.
I think I ought to return yours
we did our best
I did my best
But I think I need to S T O P.


© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

Sweetie, if you see your glass as half empty
I'll use my half to fill yours up.
I'm just grateful I have the cup.
I'll give you E v e r y t h i n g.
Just as long as I have you I'll have enough.
Missing you stings so bad I have honey for blood.
I think you find comfort
in the look in my eyes when I've been hurt.
And now I'm just pondering what made your eyes start wondering
And I think that's a good enough cause of death, just to know you looked away.
You say you t r i e d to get over me
So I know you didn't want to stay.
Maybe I just wanted too much from you.
You being my pain killer
I may have overdosed.
maybe I just can't have you so close.
but don't you know I'm addicted.
The thought of you and someone else sickens me
And now that you've seen how wicked I can be.
Do you still love me?
I know you're afraid you might be lost,
But I'm afraid I'll never be found.
I just wish you hadn't tossed my battered heart on the ground.
so many wrestles nights I scratched your name
in to my bed frame.
making it as close to the same
as the name engraved
on my bones.
when you were with her did you feel alone?
Because I'd like to think so
You know?
I'd like to think so.


© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

As far as you know,
You've never hurt me.
You never saw me cry, not because I never wept..
I just never let you see.
It's been a while since I've slept.
But, if you must know there are mascara stains on my pillow case.
that's something you'll never see on my face.
Because I don't want you to know.
It's not really lying I'm just putting on a show.
I'm being strong for you.
I'ts the least I can do..
Hey, listen..I'm sorry
I guess I really was wrong for you.
But I need you to know you were right for me.
Congratulations, You've finally taught me the difference between a
want and a need.
wealth-Want
Popularity-Want
Oxygen-Need
Health-Want
Family-Wan­t
Confidence-Want
Water-Need
A Father-Want
You-Need  
             Need
                           Need
                               Need
Oxygen is actually worthless, it's your aura I breath.
But, As far as you know.
You've never hurt me.
I'm doing just fine.
I've moved on now.
I have someone new to call mine.
And yeah, he's nice,
for a want.
I guess, acting strong comes with a price.
I don't want to love you, you know.
But I do.
I guess, that means I still need you.
But I don't want to.
You've taken This wild stallion heart of mine
And turned it's busy hooves into glue.
I never understood how you hurt me or why you'd want to.
But now, I think maybe it's that you needed to.
Because everything happens for a reason.
Reasons,
There squeezing the truth out of me.
Finally.
But, If everything happens for a reason
And breaking me is what you needed to do.
Then Why
Why
Why do I
need you

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

How do I get over the past,
when it was supposed to be my future you and I were meant to last
So don't ask me for my heart back when you've thrown it in my face.
cleansed of your fingerprints, you didn't even leave a trace.
It's frustrating.
how trusting I am of your loving hands
that caressed someone else.
I'm just stressed, Can not stop thinking
Thinking about her lips on your lips
instead of my name.
I'd give anything now
for things to be the same
as they were
And there's really no cure
for love.
It's a miserable thing
no matter how lovable how kissable
I need to be closer
A tattoo on your skin
But even as ink I'd never soak in
deep enough.
Its a miserable thing, this thing we call love.
You don't have to believe in us
because
I know it's unlikely
The fact you even think of me is striking.
Just tell me you're willing to try
You're killing me,
I cry and I cry
How in the world do you sit there dry eyed

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

He called you his Soul Mate.
    But, you went and sold your Soul.
    He wanted you to be his Wife.
           But, you wouldn't play the roll......
      
   You gave him a child.
      She was his heart outside his chest
       She looks just like him.
     I hope that haunts you when you wrest.

  why did you do it?
              
You

                                       

                      ­              S T O L E


                    
his
                                                                ­                                   
                             ­                                                     heart.

            And took her with you when you left.


              © copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I burnt the roof of my mouth on the words I Love You.
I swallowed the fire so it wouldn't hurt you.
but those words never left the tip of my tongue
they should have been shouted
they should have been sung.
I keep telling myself you knew
but that's just for comfort.
I just knew those words would have burnt.
But now I'm afraid the silence could have hurt you.
I guess a boy who has never been kissed
Had no reason to believe he'd be missed
If he just disappeared.
he may have driven off the road
But it was the Devil himself who steered.
You told your Brother you loved me.
That is, If I'm
"The quiet girl in band merch
Who turns off the world with her headphones
She's just on a search
For lyrics
She cares not for the rhythm or tone.
But to lyrics,
She's addicted.
Her heart is sick
And They're the cheapest medicine
Love is so expensive"
Love is so expensive
That's right, you're brother told me you're secret last night.
He told me what you said.
Your secret really wasn't  safe with him
everything comes out when you're dead.
You should have told me you loved me.
We could have written our own song.
Now I always have my headphones on pretending you're not gone.
It's just pretend.
Once shaken to reality, I remember when we met.
the voice I read and think in
that sounds like no one I've ever met
I heard it come out of you're mouth.
That was it.
I was set.
Once shaken to reality I remember how you left.
******
You were ****** when you took you're last breath.
I never washed the blood off my clothes
It's proof, It shows me you were alive.
You weren't just another imaginary friend.
You were so very very real
It's hard to feel anything but numb
After I'm shaken to reality and realize It's the end.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

What happens to souls
That made their own bullet holes?
When Innocent Eyes catch their first glimpse of Hell,
And their own burning flesh is all their little noses can smell.
They'll try to forget seeing each flame.
But God knows, They'll never be the same.
Though they'll wash the ash from there face.
And build up their walls, so no one can get in.
When breaking down a wall where do I begin?
I'm so small
I'm so small
And maybe the walls are there for you to see how much you want them.
but remember one thing about those walls, you can never see past them.
Sometimes I think I can  feel the world spinning.
it knocks me to the ground
And I think Satin is winning.
Like a kid on the merry-go-round.
chanting,
Faster, Faster We Need Another Master
who's saying that now?
Maybe what this World needs is just to slow down.
So we can sort through the lost and found.
When you were going through Hell, what did you find?
What did you lose, And Do you still have your mind?

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

You hung up on me mid sentence.
But I continued talking, Rocking back and forth on my bed.
Blurting out all the things I should have said.
I convinced myself you could hear me just fine.
But there was no voice on the other end of the line.
There's a boy by your name, who looks a lot like you too.
He used to be a good friend of mine.
I've lost touch with him (with you)
I still know everything there is to know about you.
And I don't believe I can carry on without you.
my bone's ache.
And no, this isn't my first heart break.
But I'm a t
                a
               l
               l
tree. And they're just a broken bottom branch.
You're more like my root system.
You're throwing more curve ***** then I can catch.
I'm acting more on emotions than on wisdom.
No, I didn't mean to get this attached.
But overtime the cigarette in your mouth
became the chimney to my house.
and the smoke you exhaled made me feel at home.
That's all hypothetical.
Maybe I'm not being sensible.
But I still love you.
Isn't that sad?
A skipping stone in love with a boy who hit rock bottom.
the same boy I once had.
Everything is dying.
We act like it's something beautiful and refer to it as Autumn.
But there is nothing beautiful about Dead things.
Nothing is beautiful about dead tree leaves.
Or dead feelings you have for me.
That used to thrive.
And I can't **** mine,
my feelings for you.
they're very much alive.
Maybe more so than I am.
Maybe I'm dying too.
I mean, It is Autumn.
Or perhaps you say Fall.
But I don't think I could fall any harder for you.
I've broken more than just bones.
Why does Love make us feel so alone.
There's no warmth of a fire place in my home.
My chimney is missing.
But Baby, If you're listening.
I'm tired of feeling alone.
I'm cold.
Why won't you say you love me too?
I'm cold and I need you.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn