It's part and parcel of growing up,
The things you gain and
The things you lose.
The pain you feel
When the shelter you've had couldn't protect you
Your mind reels
Your stumble, your fall,
The feeling of losing it all;
You're not in control,
But a pawn in Life's thrall.
You're never sure,
You're surely lost,
It's better to admit it now,
Then let your pride rule and before
The higher you climb,
The faster you fall.
It is a fact, you can never have it all.

The moon looms
Big and bright
It has been some time
Since I’ve sat
Basking in the silence of the night
I can't believe
Being alone could be noisy
As I sink into its depths
A million thoughts whirl
Stealing my breath.

How many times?
Have I followed this line?
I can't be sure
Feelings leftover
Like wraiths they linger
Silence ringing in my ears

The nights are cold
The roads are rough
But tremble not
You know you're tough
The fact you've put in effort is enough
It's ok to sit back, enjoy, and laugh

The nights are long
The journey gets tough
You brace yourself
Enough, you think, is enough
You put your foot down
And stomp real hard
You've come this far
They'll just have to let you pass

The table has been laid
The cards shuffled and spread
It's all or nothing
A bead of sweat dripping

It's a one-way street
You can’t turn around
Stop in your tracks, think
But take heed, there's no going back

Like a sword to its mark
Swinging a wide, graceful arc
Slicing through doubt with fear
Don't try to return my dear

Fly over the mountains
Soar over the hills
Find the sea yonder
With the wind in your sail

I thought that you would be the one
You put images I wanted down
You had the power to make me smile
You had the skill to make me frown
I loved the flowers you gave
Even if they were brown

Too bad our legs untangled
Our hands no longer hold
The future I once thought I saw
Are but memories that now thaw
Like ice under the sun
Dripping in puddles of flaws

This is what a Lover means
What “could have been”
What would never be
No longer what is and what will be
I move forward with you
Lingering faintly —
In the recesses of my memory

This is what a Lover means
Awkward, silent, cruel
Having gruel
With a fork and knife
Grey and slippery, sloshing in a bowl
A trial to all

You could have been my present and my future
My boyfriend, husband, lover
But now you are no longer
I will not wait for you hence
Not now, not ever.


This is what a Lover is,
You are but a Lover,
Not made to be my forever.

Sometimes I try to sleep
It's a small step I take to keep
All the noise in head

Sometimes I struggle to breathe
Another step everyday
To keep the rhythm in my head

There are times I fight to keep
The white noise ringing in my vision
White lights blaring in my eye

In these times I try to stop
I fight to think, lock my feet, grit my teeth
If I fail I sink, I crash and burn

Times like these are trials I'll keep
In my pocket, a silent raging noise
I won't forget, I won't regret.

I still have your picture
It sits in my wallet
I don't quite know what for
When you've been moving on

I still kept our picture
We were all smiles then
Once in a while I'll take a peek
As if it were playing hide-and-seek

I look out for your pictures
It's pathetic and I know
You're trying to move on
Still some part of me hopes you won't forget
I am still here; I want to be your friend