His name,
Tastes like,
Sweet, soft velvet,
On my tongue.

To the guy who called me ugly as I passed him in the street.
Thank you.

Thank you for proving my anxieties right,
Thank you for reminding me why I hate going out,
Thank you for pushing me 100m back in my 1000m race to self confidence,
Thank you for putting out the tiny spark I'd gained in my eye,
Thank you for reminding me that everyone lies,
Thank you for making me doubt the mirror all over again,
Thank you for quickly undoing all the hard work I've been putting in,
Thank you for being the only ******* comment I'll remember,

Thank you.
****.

Tell me why the air feels thick,
Tell me why the trees seem to be crowding me,
Tell me why the floor is spinning,
Tell me why I can't breathe.

It's as though the air in my lungs has turned to liquid,
Like the oxygen in my blood is poison,
Like my breath is stagnant and stale,
Like there's to much wind for the sky.

The trees have moved closer together,
And no light can get through the leaves,
The road is dark and I can't find my way home,
And the air is too thick to breathe.

My anxiety makes the air in my lungs feel wrong,
Makes the shadows in the trees look worse than they seem,
Makes dark streets full of monsters,
Makes is hard for me to breathe.

Someone please tell me,
Why the air feels too thick,
And the trees are crowding around me.

Someone please tell me why I can't breathe.

They always told her she was skinny,
'You're like a twig' they used to say,
'You need a good roast dinner' they'd tell her.

She grew up being proud,
Of the way her bones jutted through,
Her pink paper skin.

When she reached 15,
The junk food and pride,
Caught up with her.

By 16 all she saw in the mirror,
Was mountains of fat and rolls upon rolls,
She wondered if they would still call her skinny.

At 16, she began cutting down on meals,
'If I miss lunch, I'll lose a little weight.'
'I don't need breakfast, not to be skinny.'

She can't tell anyone else,
She's the skinny one,
She can't be fat.

They've started noticing now,
The rolls under her tshirt,
They seem to get some satisfaction,
That the skinny girl is fat.

By nearly 17 she cannot stomach more than one meal,
Anymore and she feels sick,
To the pit of her stomach.

Aged 17 she wonders,
If they'd've brought her up the skinny girl,
If they knew how fat she'd get when she grew up.

Aged 17 she wonders how she got so
*******
Fat.

And all at once I disappeared,
I knew it'd happen soon,
You feel empty for a while,
Until eventually you turn to nothing.
I've been nothing for a long time,
So the feeling never surprised me,
I just hoped I get to say goodbye first,
Maybe I can save it for another day.

And all at once I disappeared,
I don't mind as much as I expected,
I've been feeling like a ghost a while now,
It was only a matter of time.

And all at once I disappeared,
I hope I won't return.