"You're too young," they said
"That and you're too fat,
You can't accomplish your dreams you need to be in shape to do that.
You need to be able to run and take flight."
I've answered all of these questions  with out discord or fight.

I proved myself with action not by pounds on the scale
I faced their doubts head on, every concern every wail.
See doubts to me are gasoline
They fuel the fire of my soul
I don't need your support because there's no way I will fold

See I've faced doubts all my life
Proved everyone of them wrong
So what's a few more pieces of kindling and wood to pile on
The fire inside me the blaze it burns red
Consuming my opponents I will fill them with a dread
So if you're one of my doubters stand  and just ask
"Who do you think you are?" And I'll take you to task.

Death comes for us all the preacher has said

But the teachers keep teaching

Still trying to fill heads

They say knowledge is power

but when the hour draws near

they look away and put the books away

And hold the ones they held dear



But, Death comes for us all the preacher did say

We all loved someone at one time

and minded the tears of yesterday

See to love and lost is better

The loathsome chatter is spewed

blissful ignorance is what i insist

As I bid my love adieu



Still death comes for us all I understand with regret

see love is never perfect

Hearts muddied and palms wet

Emotions haunt the ones

that see love flaunted some

times they change and sear

The mindful watch as it spins the clock

As the hour itself draw near

On our walk today,
You told me you loved him
And I vomited,
In my mouth,
Just a little.
Forcing the putrid liquid back down,
I feign support.
"Really that's great?"
Are the words that escape.
Replacing the aftertaste--
Of the ones still stuck in my bile.
Ones tasting like,
"Why can't you see my love?"
and
"What does he have...
That I don't?"
My emotionally caused nausea
Goes, thankfully, unnoticed.
As you are still lost,
In thought or lust.
I can never tell.
As we continue walking,
My stomach calms.
We acknowledge life's beauty,
In trees, in birds, in clouds.
While I am forced
To disregarded its greatest,
You.

It was quiet strength that did you in.
Your belief that pain was simply the cost of life,
You had been crippled for so long
Leg straight and fused,
Tremors assaulting your once strong hands,
Still you coped.
You pushed through.
As if to laugh at the hand you had been dealt.
Like you were betting the house would go bust.
You fought.

You fought getting out of the your truck at the doctors office
You fought when they forced you into a sleep study
You fought when they ran a chest X-ray to rule out pneumonia
And when they said cancer
You fought

Who cares that they said Stage 4.
Cancer didn't know who it had picked its newest fight with
It didn't know your 25th wedding anniversary was two weeks away
So you fought
Because it wouldn't take this from you
You wouldn't let it,
Stubborn ******* you were.
You fought

You fought
Having purchased a card for the special day
Having it delivered by a friend
In tears she read and she knew
You had fought
And on that following day we sang you to Heaven
There was Power in the Blood
As you found Amazing Grace
And as your last breath escaped
Tooth then Lip.
I was reminded
You fought.

I know I have been happiest at your side;
But what is done, is done, and all's to be.
And small the good, to linger dolefully--
Gayly it lived, and gallantly it died.
I will not make you songs of hearts denied,
And you, being man, would have no tears of me,
And should I offer you fidelity,
You'd be, I think, a little terrified.

Yet this the need of woman, this her curse:
To range her little gifts, and give, and give,
Because the throb of giving's sweet to bear.
To you, who never begged me vows or verse,
My gift shall be my absence, while I live;
But after that, my dear, I cannot swear.

I wanted to forget
But now I can't even
Remember.

when i was small and delicate
my parents were so worried
they grew up quite the pessimissts
and panicked in a hurry
so when I swallowed a firefly
their grabby hands and tight faces
thought called out 'will she die?'
they opened up my mouth and poked around in the dark places
they had such an uptight lifestyle
however, i was the opposite
the firefly i swallowed was shining through my smile.