We breathe for no apparent reason.
We’re scared to live but we do so.
Try to get by whatever season,
Do everything until you know.

I spent last night
Crunching numbers

10
Times you led me on

9
Nights we stayed up talking

8
Weeks since you decided I wasn’t worth it

7
Crushed up poems on the floor of my room

6
Outfits thrown aside to make sure I look my best

5
Days I spent trying to get over you

4
Friends that know what we did

3
3 a.m FaceTime calls

2
Coats of mascara

1
Big regret

It’s like hands around my throat,
or plastic around my head.
It’s suffocating with the words I wrote,
and the ones I had never said.

The concept of being deceivingly perfect.
For you were the someone who I wanted to stay.
I‘d constantly remind myself not to expect
cause you were a race car in a speeding highway.

I thought that I’d actually be getting somewhere.
We were going in full speed but never stopping.
With the familiar cool breeze running through my hair,
You were just speeding past while I was still walking.