unspoken words never suited me well
I’ll whisper the reasons I’d like to see you in the morning,
mostly for the way the sunlight and shadows dance across your skin
If your fingertips promise to adore more than my body in the dark
I’ll always wish to be more subtle and you’ll wonder how a broken heart could remain so open
the wounds he left when I was six never healed but I’ll let you nestle in-between them
just please don’t make me feel weak for shouting how I feel from rooftops
I’ve never known how to love with anything but all of me

there are people that only come to teach you about loss
words that I swore sounded like promises only meant to be fleeting
because you showed me everything I wanted
and became something I had to let go
and you made the future sound so pretty with no intention of seeing it
and you crossed borders and oceans and concrete walls to get to my heart
and I took your counterfeit one and held it like glass
and I keep searching for the sun in other people forgetting how much I love the moon

maybe it's easier to fall in love with strangers because they'll never watch while they rip you apart
they won't shy away at your tendency to say more than necessary or the thoughts you shouldn't speak but always do
they don't ask for quiet corners or hidden love or pieces of your heart without knowing the whole
if you were never mine or I yours there's no worry in my memory holding onto you
no 4 am whispers or hands feeling empty when you're gone
and he'll love me unconditionally because he'll never know enough to stop

tell me you've been thinking of me
how you always preferred roses but you saw sunflowers in my room
and love never seemed less about romance
tell me how your mind aches for me as much as your body
but your knuckles grew white at the thought of his fingers on my skin
tell me what it's like to miss me in the chaos and not just at midnight
all of the words you don't know how to say and maybe that's why you fell in love with mine

I lost myself somewhere in-between our ending and all of the might've been's
I wanted it to be you
the kind of love that was always more forest fire than fairytale
and all I know is you left me someplace in the middle of "I miss you" and "I need space"
I fell into your hesitation because it was all I had left

I always wondered about storms
if walking through the mud ever did anything besides ***** up my shoes
and make me think of what it's like to breathe without fear of being left behind
my dad always swore he loved me but I only remember him by bar stools and beer bottles
the sound of rain against windshields on the way to his house
was it my fault I've never seen him on my birthday?
the thing about storms is they never have mercy
they don't care about the one that swallowed you yesterday
and it rained for twenty days straight but I still wasn't clean