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E l l e 4d
You know it's time to address your mental health,
When a smile is reassuring,
When "hello" is a digression,
And every stare is an evaluation.

You know it's time to confront your inner thoughts,
When you turn off the lights, and you give up.
When you dream of the possible, rather than what you actually want,
And the memories that made you nostalgic,
are now acidic in your heart.

White turns to black;
Sick turns to indisposed,
As the imposes turn to diagnoses.
I feel dizzy, my head is spinning-
In reality, I'm healthier than when I was winning.

It's just an imbalance, a lapse in my deception-
Little do I know, I've been blind for years.
Only when I opened my eyes, did I see-

The potential in my complexion.
For someone that needs to hear this. Taking time for yourself is important, and everyone should do it often. Don't be ashamed to feel like you need to spend time with yourself- in fact, it's one of the most beneficial things you could do. xoxo
E l l e Jan 14
I think love broke me.
i used to think feeling this way
was just a form of over reaction-
maybe source of attention,
or a lack of intent to be happy with yourself.

Ever since I fell in and out of love with you,
i’ve come to to conclusion, that
i fell out of everything that i was used to.  

Who am i anymore?
Who is the face I look at in the mirror?
Who’s girl who accepts roses from men,
but doesn’t take into consideration
that maybe that rose wasn’t mean for her.

It’s meant for someone who isn’t allergic.
who loves the smell of deceitful lies,
who loves to grab the **** things by their thorns.

I’m incapable of love, you see!
I’m tied to the never ending cycle of saying
“i’m over him, but i’m not ready”,
Until everyone waiting has left,
even myself.

“focus on other things,” they say;
trying to act like their source of happiness,
doesn’t come from their lover, laying right beside them every night.

what kind of life do i live,
when i have my head down in the ground
instead of in the clouds?
i can paint pretty pictures with chalk
on the cement,
and act like i’m floating....
Sad part is, nobody would tell the difference anyway.

my mom was right when she told me
you have to love yourself,
before you love anyone else-
and i’m working on that.

For now,though,
my head is in the concrete clouds.
when it’s  2AM and you’re in your feels
E l l e Nov 2018
I just can't help but wonder

If by you saying "I love you"
Is just another way of saying "I love the feeling of you".

That your fantasy of us
Was just an illogical fallacy of ****
Because in truth, I fear you do not think with your heart-
In betrayal, I will always trust.

I wish we were back to those beautiful days;
The days where we would pick strawberries,
On the coats of Norway-
Swing carelessly, on the seasides of Whales.

Now, we just pick fights on the depths of our insecurities,
Say careless, arrogant things out of spite-
I miss when "I love you", wasn't an apology.

Maybe you can love me for real this time,
and not like the times we've shared.
I hope that one day "I love you" will mean no more
than just a few words to show mediocre affection-
And I won't need it as my life line,
Or my everlasting addiction for approval from you.

Maybe one day, we won't even have to say
"I love you",
Because on that day, we wouldn't have to wonder
What the answer would be.

For once, I deserve that.
All of you deserve that... xoxo
E l l e Sep 2018
A promise
Is when someone vows something to you
In order to maintain a temporary trust;
A strong
Abundant trust.

A promise
Is when we let that abundance of trust
Fill the whole in our hearts where we need reassurance-
And like the white whales in the Red Sea,

We are resiliently hooked.

A promise
Is when we are given a hope,
Even when we know It's sometimes false.
People make promises they can't keep;
In our hearts, we all know this to be true.
Sometimes false hope is the heart-pumping blood we all need.

Red in all its glory; It's our life support.

Sometimes a promise cannot be fulfilled, but only vowed-
Our involuntary recipients,
Harrowing over our grotesque stabs at being their very veins.
Like the vows of a marriage,
We say them to prove we can provide some sort of air for them;
Though as if we live underwater.
We give people their air, though it is only a bubble-
Just to put in their lovely heads that one day,
Maybe they'll get a whole breath.
I wrote this out of spite and honestly I love it.
E l l e Jul 2018
We are all so vain

We cannot even stitch our own cloth,
Or eat any food that is further than our own lands-
Everything we do has to be in line with everyone else's...
*****, pail bodies.

As giant astroids plummet towards us-
The skies spiraling with streaks of purple and red;
Colors we've never seen before.

We worry more about running away

Than looking up at the sky.

We cry for our soon demise

But we never once think of it as a new beginning.

We are so absent-minded these days.
Everyone is so society oriented, that we don't have a mind for ourselves. We can't have our own obscure opinions and interests, without people expressing their negative views and opinions upon us. Always remember: those people only dream of getting the confidence you have ;)
E l l e Jun 2018
Climbed down from the pedestal,

Because I realized nobody wants to be up here-

Worked so hard for it....

But then again nobody knows what they sign up for.

My white gown is stained-

How could anyone do such a thing?

I guess nobody remembers the values of accusation
Because nobody was charged...

Sitting on the ground-
Warm like the memories I instill in this town;
I'll eat the fruits to remember what it all tasted like.
A taste of my own medicine.

It's kind of ironic how one thing can be taken for another

Maybe the pedestal after all was a pit of thorns..

Luckily I didn't stay long enough to get cut..

At the same time, the ground here is giving me a bruise!

I'll have to tell someone that one day.
Maybe being at the top isn't always the best view for the mind.. Maybe being grounded is what we all need.
E l l e Jun 2018
Disposable likes

Dispensable loves

I wish I could throw it all away.

Somebody tell all these recyclable guys
To step down from their endless pride
and just be sustainable- but reusable for later

Reducible heartbreaks

Reprized 'I love you's'

I wish there was a safe way to get rid of our minds.

Without polluting everything around our youth
Because none of us want our children knowing
That one day they might be susceptible to that typa thing...

The world would be such a better place if we didn't waste

Maybe if we all knew

Sometimes we need to dispose of things the right way;
Instead of putting in on top of another pile-

It would be.
Take it how you want it, but this is definitely not about the earth.
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