Your hair was back but your hands were nothing but close. I can't remember what it feels like anymore to hate a touch because now it's all I desire. That look in your eyes was threatening but baby you could **** me and I would still give you everything I have.
The sensation of your entity twirling around mine only makes me wish you were here to give me that look one more time.
Put your hands around my throat.
Turn all my previous fears into sinful wishes.
Put your hips around mine and I'll scream your name as if you're leaving forever in my wake.
Stay with me until you come up and I disappear because we run nothing but cycles and I want all 365 days of this annum with you.
My only friend,
I've been in this room for so long that the paintings on the walls have turned into motion pictures. Everything seems to be laughing at me and my lover has been sea sick since I left. The tides are rising and every minor thing makes the waves crash inside of me. I feel like it might be the season because this is about the time where we sink every year but find ourselves in fast paced rewind at the exact moment it started. When I close my eyes to the resting waters I can't take away the screams in my head. I don't know if the paintings even want to be around me anymore. I'm lost at sea and the ship is out of life rings.
I left my life to join the circus only to find that the animals were louder than my demons.
I left my life to go swimming with my inner friends only to find that they drowned out my real self.
I left my life to keep running from my own two feet only to find that they'll never be away from me.
I like the sight of the night sky because it reminds me that there is life outside of mine. I remember when I had the galaxy in my eyes completely burn out and the only way I knew I was still breathing was looking at the moon that billions of people were under struggling with the same feeling. The stars in my eyes have glistened once again and I'm not letting meteors crash through my soul any longer. So look for the planets within my body and Ill take you to places you've never been before.
She had skeletons tucked away in her closet so maybe that's why she grabbed onto the nearest spine. Maybe her step father made her shake until she fell and that's why she held my hand. Maybe he said "let's play a game", so she passed it down to me.
The way the sheets fluttered around my throat has left rings around my neck that I still stroke when I see my reflection. The way her laughter echoes in my ear has only made mine louder just to mellow it out.
I hear them in everyone. It's a set of ghosts that just won't leave my walls. They claw at my spine. They rip at my veins.
People wonder why I don't sleep, I don't sleep because they each scream in a different ear. One screams "you're worthless" and one screams "I'm almost done"
But they're never done. They never leave. They scratch and they bite and they moan and they cry.
So when will I stop crying? When will I stop blaming myself? When will I stop cutting my wrists to make them go away? Right now I'm thinking they are forever with me. The ghost in my walls. The reasons I rattle.
I still remember how your hands felt around my wrists. I felt every single settle squeeze as you kissed my neck. I hated it. I hated every single disgusting second of it. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just the unfortunate boy that couldn't have my heart or purity.
I still remember the music. I only knew you for two weeks. You were much older. You looked at me like I was the meat beneath your teeth and absolutely everything about that made me cringe. I know it was all malice. Nothing but malice. As soon as you took off your shirt I lost my breath. As soon as you bit my collarbones I cried out. No. I don't want it. No I didn't want it. You whispered sweet I love you's in my ear. I don't know how you could love me without knowing my last name or the way my eyes looked sober. I have never gotten dressed so fast. I have never ran so fast. I have never screamed so loud.
I heard him in you two. I boiled off my skin like that would make it go away. Like that disgust would go away.
I saw her in your eyes. I heard "let's play a game" in my head.
Echoes. So many ******* echoes. Now all that remains are the voices in my head.
To finally be intertwined with the one on your mind is so bliss. Your hands fit oh so well on my curves but I bet they feel even better just a tad lower. My mind has never raced so fast at such a settle heartbeat. Every settle pulse vibrates through my body and I just can't bring myself any closer to you. Baby fill me past my line because I can't do it for myself. I can't do much for myself in the first place. Tuck my hair away. Leave those chills down my spine with every blow, kiss, and bite. Tell me you love me even if you don't know if I can return that. Keep the smoke filling in my lungs so you aren't the only one making me this numb. Hand me a drink so I can fall into you with every piece of me I have left. Grace me with your touch because I've been craving nothing less than that for months. I just want to feel you. Put your hands in my hair before we fall asleep because in the morning I need a tug so I can stay there because I've been so used to running I just need to hold on.