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Lani Foronda Jul 2014
Temporary fixes
Is all I've ever looked for.
A little something to take the edge away
A little something to make me forget
A little something to make everything okay
But it never lasts
This temporary fix of mine.
It's prescribed for my head
But never for my heart.
I keep wanting more and more
Because more and more
Just piles up
With
Each
Passing
Day.
This place I call home isn't the safe haven
I've grown up in anymore.
The endless laughter and smiles
Can't cover up the pain I dig into.
My precious notebook and pen
Can't scratch out reality.
Things have changed,
And I just want to get away.
But the more I've tried,
The more I've been denied.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
The pain can be buried,
But uncovered once again.
The cuts might not bleed,
But they've left a scar.
There has to be something more than
This-
Than this temporary fix.
May 03, 2013
I want to escape this whole situation. I want to escape the things that remind me. I want to escape the voices around me. But eventually I'll have to come back..
  Jul 2014 Lani Foronda
Anonymous
She told me I couldn’t stop
She said it was in my veins,
I didn’t believe her but it’s true
I’ve tried so hard to stop picking up my pen
I’ve tried to ignore the withdrawal from my notebook
But she was right, like always
And when I came back to my abandoned journals
She said
I knew you’d be back
Because words are not just words to you
I think that’s when I realized how damaging it can be
I wish my soul wasn’t drenched in words
It’s a disease, once you start it’s impossible to stop
For writers that is
Writing, it’s a disease;
Its incurable
  Jul 2014 Lani Foronda
Jordan Harris
I don't want to be the one who snaps you into the world.
I don't want to be the one who says "look, honey, the universe *****".
I don't want to be the one who proves how horrible life is.
But I have already become that one.
I already am that person.
And I can't send you back to blissful innocence.
It's too late.

You claim to have already been hurt.
I mean of course, who isn't?
But you weren't broken,
only bent.
Any strained branch can be carefully reshaped
but once it has splintered, there is no return.

And I just wanted to heal something
because I had already torn so much.
Lani Foronda Jul 2014
Is what I feel out of obligation or sincerity?
Cause quite frankly
Nothing's making sense to me.
I'm standing in a crowd of people
And all I see is you.
But I swear,
I don't.
I don't want to see you again and again and again.
You'd think once was enough,
But fate must hate me
To give me another glance of you.
I keep telling myself that this
Wasn't
How things were supposed to go.
There was so much left to do
To say
To accomplish.
Tomorrow was (not) our day to take by the hand,
But now Yesterday is dragging me back.
Clinging to me.
Since I'm the only one left standing there.
There's just one thing to do.
One thing left to say.
Then it'll all be over.
But
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't say the words that I've been dying to say.
I can't say "goodbye."
Goodbye was never an option,
But it's starting to sound like my solution
To this never ending equation.
May 07, 2013
Lani Foronda Jul 2014
You don't know what it means to love because you aren't looking at Love.

You want what love can give you-

The security

The ignorance

The company-

But you have yet to think about the receiving end.

Love is not what-can-I-get-out-of-this

But

What-can-I-give-to-you.

Love is selfless

Not self-seeking.

Love isn't something that you feel.

It's something that you do.

Love is standing right in front of us,

Yet we are too blind.

You know that all those "you" and "us" and "we"?

It should really say "I."

L-o-v-e is something that still doesn't make sense to me.
May 20, 2013
Lani Foronda Jul 2014
It's all in your head,
They said.
All the thoughts.
All the figures.
All the shadows.
It's a figment of your imagination.
A mere variable added to the equation
That was never there.
From the start it was just you-
No one else
Nothing more.
One day
You built a safe haven
Because you wanted a place to hide.
On the next
You created a friend
Because you didn't want to be alone.
But you need to wake up-
Oh,
You must!
Child, wake up and see that this fantasy
Will never be your reality.
As good as it seems
It will never be.
Stop smelling the roses
And see the thorns that are pricking your side.
You think it's so sweet
But really it's just poison down your throat.
So wake up.
Wake up before this dream
Becomes your prison.
May 28, 2013
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