Sober too long
A thousand pictures fill my head
Nothing I want
All I deserve
A failure encrusted shoe
And a dangerously deep hole
A yearning
A yearning fit to burst through the confinement of narrow walls
Or the confinement of a narrow mind
The genie took two of my wishes
So I’ll leave you with this;
If I ever sleep again
Please don't wake me up

A stone rolls across my floor
A strange privilege
To fade away.

How does it feel?

She croons, she croons
Creating a sound so tragically pure, that if I were to die whilst hearing it, I don't think I'd mind
For what is death if life is not full?
At least I have a height to fall from.

Don't worry
She sighs
I'll get my things and leave.

I used to dream of bidding you farewell
And wishing you on your way
"Goodbye, traveller, bye for now"
I'd force myself to say
But somehow you persisted
Punching thoughts out of the way
Ambling to the forefront of my mind every day
Almost real
Almost there
Until the moment
Somewhere
On a train between Woking and Clapham
When a new journey had begun
I grieved no more for melting snow
I worshipped the sun
And I let you go

Pensive and delirious,
I stroke my whiskered chins.
Though I want to suppress them,
I can't help but smile.
They're mine, mine, mine.

Touch my heart
Grab my hand
Take me to your wonderland
I won’t know you
You won’t know me
We’ll dance around a reverie

We’ll dance and sing
For all to hear
And we’ll no longer live in fear
Of losing love
Or losing lust
Or losing everlasting trust

Twinkling lights
Will streak our skies
And gently spark enchanting eyes
The trees will wave
And clouds will smile
We'll leave this world, just for a while

Hello man
With the sullen face
Sunken eyes
And matted hair
Please don't frown so much
You might iron permanent lines into your brow
And that would be a terrible shame.
I wonder what has troubled you
Or what troubles you still
Maybe it's people like me
Trying to coax you out of your misery
I promise you, Stranger
I always mean well
But intentions can be misconstrued.
I must admit, I find it mildly discomforting
That your solemn mood is affecting my own
So come on, Stranger
Do I not deserve a smile?

Her gypsy heart can’t find its art
In movement, song or rhyme
And though it fakes a smile or two
It’s crying all the time

Instincts state her only fate
Must be to run away
For patient though she is
She may not last another day

In this place, with this face
And all the foolish things it’s done
And all her sodden sorrow
And no single ray of sun.

Your elegant sound floats around my dazed head
You ruffle my feathers, in all manner of ways
You pecked your way into my life
And for a long while I resisted.

You have the freedom that I, as a temporarily caged bird, can no longer enjoy
And though it is sweet of you to join me on my perch
Cohabitation is not something I am accustomed to
And I find myself longing for just a short moment of solitary confinement.

But once you have taken flight, I worry
As all caged birds do
That those I love
Will clip their wings, and cease to return.

So I sit here, and pray for my songbird to come back to me
And chirp in my ear
My meadowlark, my love
The light in my otherwise surrounding darkness.

Pride fills me up kind of like the way you fill me up time after time day after day except when you’re not there but then I suppose the memory of you fills me up in a slightly less full kind of way because you’re quite simply wonderful and then you drop your wallet reminding me and everyone else that you sir yes you sir are nowhere near perfect which brings me significant disbelief yet I revel in the fact that I am thankful thankful for something anything that shines a light upon your moronic tendencies and as the train pulls away I sit and marvel at how grateful I am for a bittersweet end to a wonderful day.

Big
Choking
Sobs
Come out of nowhere
And invade my peace
They are so strong
Thoughts of you make them worse
Thoughts of you cannot stop them
Nor thoughts of the train
Or of the people in my house
Or of the man who feeds the pigeons on my morning walk through the park
Sobs cannot be stopped by thoughts
Give up, give up
I hear in the distance
The sound of temptation is both sweet and sour
So I listen
And listen
And listen
Until
Big
Choking
Sobs
Are no more

There is strength in feeling sad (she says)
Remember that, for me
It shows how much you care (she says)
Sad strength can set you free.

Weakness is not weakness
If it leaves you feeling strong
And if weakness gives you more sad strength
Then sad is never wrong.

She'll be fine, they say
You're gonna be fine
But what if fine, is simply not mine
To be? Or not, if you catch my drift
I can't see
A way in which fine is appealing
To me, fine is barely even a feeling
It's a void
A hole in which emptiness grows
And the absence of happiness blatantly shows
Even anger and spite are missed in this place
There is nothing but vast open wide empty space in this fine
As they call it
Which I shan't be at all!
I don't want just 'alright' or 'ok' at ALL
I want to be GREAT and FANTASTIC you see?
Or tragically sad would be just fine for me, as I'm
Not one to settle for anything other than
Excellent, terrible, magic, insane
Anything else is too horribly plain
For my brain as it is
In this now present day
So fine and its friends can all go away

Sometimes
My thirst for love is so strong
So unquenched
It makes me forget who and where and what I am
And I want to run
Run
Run away
From what?
Who knows
I turn up the noise
And run
As far as I dare
I don't listen to real life
I don't let it in
Reality cannot permeate my golden bubble
My crystal casing
It will protect me
Until it fades
Soon it will fade
Nothing will be left
Except for a few wisps
Of bright white hair and paper
To chase
Or not to chase
Don't let it fade!
Run to the light
Or find safety in the darkness
Drink up the love you find
Let breath rack your writhing body
You deserve a thrill
Then the fear comes
Light
Sirens
Real sound (so to speak like)
Lock them out!
You could run for miles
Keep breathing
Choose life
*Choose life

A trumpet blares
Throughout the night
Its sound, a nature call
Its tone is bright and vibrant
And it calls to one and all
It speaks not of the death and loss
We all must one day face
But of the life and joy we feel
When in our rightful place
Yes, sounds may laugh
And sounds may cry
And trumpets do their best
To play a melancholy tune
When one is laid to rest

the beach is littered with empty shells
the friendship has long sailed away
terrified turtles have scattered in fear
the dolphins are awake, but do not want to play

the ocean requiem is covered in sand
the creature it belonged to no longer exists
it swam off a very long time ago
yet still, its memory persists

the animals have to make a choice
should they beach themselves in vain?
or swim onwards and upwards to much better things
and rejoice, now the villain is slain

I walk in
I lie down
Your hands close around my throat
You question me but I daren't make a sound
Small talk does its best to ease my discomfort
As you strangle me I can't help but think
You should've bought me dinner first
...though I'd never say that.

With a smile you bid me farewell
We thank each other sincerely
And confess that we'll see each other next time.

what am I doing here?

the butterfly asked
as she looked around the chrysalis
she thought she’d left behind

how can so little change in so much time?
what am I doing here?

the butterfly questioned
as she struggled to take flight
a flight she’d mastered many times before

how can so much change in so little time?
what am I doing here?

she asked herself
as she felt her form change once again
and found that she was a caterpillar, wondering

am I still able fly?

A young girl leapt out of her warm, cosy bed
She dashed to the window, and happily said
“It’s christmas today” and then ran all the way
Down the stairs to the treasures that waited ahead

“HE’S BEEN” she cried, with her eyes open wide
At the presents and ribbon and wrapping
Then she paused, sat down, and gasped at the sound
Of the logs on the fire that were crackling

Her family beamed as she silently screamed
With glee, as she danced without warning
There were smiles all around, for joy had been found
On that wonderful, cold Christmas morning

A familiar sense that I cannot describe
Memories of a forgotten tribe
Their music gives fortune as stories are told
Their music gives warmth in a time that is cold

'I lost myself on that November night’
Rings so true, for I thought that I might
Climb into the staves and silently shout
‘I swear to never, ever come out'

Ideas flash by like shooting stars
Each one shimmering bright against night
Often they glimmer and shine from afar
Or demand to be hidden from sight

Come back to me, star, come back!  I scream

*You have no reason to leave

For you are the marvellous hopes and dreams

To which I so desperately cleave

"Oh to be free as that bird!"
He cried from between the wrought iron bars
"To sing as she sings,
To be the wind beneath wings,
To be able to watch from afar;
Would be a dream."
Or so it seemed

One day an officer came along
And told the man he could run free
He thought he was dreaming
Sat still for a while
For a while not believing
And stifling a smile
As he looked up and questioned "Who? Me?"

There was wind in his hair
As he flew out the doors
And found himself, quite some time after
Sat on a bench with his head in his hands
Lost in his own hopeful laughter

The sky clouds over
Freeing fewer rays of sun
The path is once again unclear
Once again determination is fuelled
By a burning desire
To get to the place where nothing falls but water

I look around
The water tumbles happily down strong, jagged cliffs
The spirited torrent unchanging
The rays that remain beam brighter than ever
Allowing no single speck of darkness;
Merely a few clouds

Enough energy to punch through a tower of bricks
Or to jump 10 feet into the air
Why? Oh
Energy increases
Running around a tiny box room
Bouncing off walls
I've not yet fallen
Or is the cause of this
That I fell long ago?

In this moment, it seems, a spirit has found us
Alone or together our strength is boundless
Our thoughts reach further than one has ever dared to go on foot
A flurry of hopes; both old and new flicker before us
Our light floats in a sea of faith
As read by the virtuous figure “joy and courage go hand in hand”
Thus creating a heartened happiness.
We find laughter in one another
Adversity turns its face to the shadows and hides from safety
Once we have returned
A free spirit is left behind
It waits to be rediscovered
By she who yearns so passionately for it
But it daren’t make a sound
It remains yet unfound