You don't understand
I feel like ****
Because of you
I'm in tears
Because of you
I get it
I'm a ****** person
I only want my boys
They make me happy
You make me feel ****
But you don't even realise
The damage you cause me
Not it's not all about him
Maybe it should be
He makes me feel safe and okay again
Here I am sitting on my bed
In tears
I can't do anything
You cause me pain
It hurts so bad
I wanna scream

Getting a phone call from a friend
She's choking on her words
All she's feeling is
pain, hurt, confusion
she doesn't know what to do
The happy bubbly girl you know
Calls you reaching out to you
for help
It's hard to hold back the tears yourself
But you have to stay strong for her sake
Talk to her don't stop
Don't leave the call
Until she feels okay again
I'm always here for you
Anytime
At all
Just ask

I honestly wouldn't mind
Getting into trouble with you
I wouldn't mind hugging you forever
I wouldn't mind sharing my house with you
I wouldn't mind sharing my bed with you
Just so I could get your sleepy cuddles every night
Just so I could feel you with me
I honestly wouldn't mind
Doing the stupidest things with you
I wouldn't mind walking 2 hours for food
in the middle of the night with you
I wouldn't mind getting your grumpy side
I honestly wouldn't mind at all
Because all this means having you here
with me
and that's all I want

This is the most emotionally present
that I've been in a long time.
And now that roll has been called,
I'd like to go ahead and strike my name off of the roster.

Honestly,
I think we're all monsters
and we all have an excuse why
and whatever it may be
it's not a real excuse.
It's easy to get by
with a sense of validation,
as long as you feel justified
in your own mind.
I know we can't let what others think shape us,
but is it so horrible to once blame ourselves?
We all have choices to make,
and no one is truly obligated...
Honestly,
I can only blame me
for the choice to walk this path.
All the eyes on me, scrutinizing me,
it makes me want to feel shame,
but regardless of what they see
I need to do good by me.
I don't want to lay any blame
where it is not called for,
because we're all monsters wanting change
and we all have a reason to stall for.
I'm going to look in the mirror,
and tell you who is to blame,
honestly.

I am not
The better of two evils
If you ever see me that way
Then I will be the worst evil
Just for you

You will never truely know
If the person you are talking to
Is real... or a mask

We live in a time where more and more people are suffering
Depression
Bipolar
ADHD
All kinds of mental illnesses
Masks are needed just to survive
Because like the illness
You get trapped in your head
Screaming for help as you mutter
"Im okay"
                                                                                               "just a cat scratch"
"Sorry, my sharpener is broken"
Fear paralizes those who want to reach out

"They are my friends"
                                                                              "They dont care about you"
"Ive known them my whole life!"
                                                                     "Yet they barley know you at all"

How can you help yourself when you cant even stop those voices?
The doubt and hopelessness whispering in your ear...
How can you be confident asking for help when people just leave?
Mental illness is a disease spreading across the world
No, We may not be able to cure
But we as people owe it to those suffering to recognize their pain
And to stay and help those we can
Everyone deserves a saving grace

I want to bite the flesh of your words
And let the juice of your truth trickle down my throat.
I want to inhale the scent of your joy
And graze upon your sadness
I want to devour your pain
And consume your pleasure
I want to feast on all parts of you
And relish every mouthful
Until my belly can take no more

I have time
I have shelter
I have food and money
I have love
I have hate
I have so much nothing

I have nothing
I have vast collections of nothing
I have nothing stacked to the celing
I have nothing draped upon my body
I have nothing in my heart and mind
I have an immeasureable wealth of nothing
I have nothing in my eyes
I have nothing

I have so much nothing